


Pacing At Night

by In_Crime_Partner



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Affairs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bratva, F/M, Rating May Change, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, bratva! Oliver, olicity - Freeform, other characters to be added - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:38:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 86,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7367494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_Crime_Partner/pseuds/In_Crime_Partner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problem didn't start when she first had a one-night stand with Oliver Queen. It didn't start when she found out he was a ruthless Bratva Captain, nor did it start when her affair with him continued. It didn't start when she realized she had a crush on him. No, it started when two tiny pink lines appeared on a pregnancy test.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Felicity Smoak paced the room, rubbing her fingers nervously as her stomach rolled with dead fear. Dizziness hit her at the sudden thought, making the room spin around her, her arm shooting out to steady herself before taking a deep breath. 

It couldn't be.

No, it wouldn't happen.

She was certain. Or at least hoped so.

Glancing at the clock, she saw that only half a minute had passed since leaving the bathroom behind to start a nerve-wracking three minutes filled with sadness, panic and fear. Fear of the results. Fear of his reaction if her suspicion was true. Shaking her head a bit and fighting back the sudden tears flooding her vision, she looked out of the window, seeing for the very first time how calm was everything. Ironic, because everything was anything else rather than calm.

But, as she looked out, she only saw happy couples, holding hands, smiling at each other, laughing, strolling a baby carriage, having a good time with their partners while her world shattered into pieces. The heaviness once more settled in her insides, making place next to the fear as her hand, the one holding into the frame, trembled, her eyes glued on the toddler holding his parents' hands. A tiny human being, with tiny legs and tiny arms, trying to take a step without his parents' guidance, but failing. She watched as the boy caught his mother's leg before losing balance and falling, making an annoyed face as his father laughed and picked him up, saying something that made the little one smile. The mother linked her fingers with the father as the small family walked away. Happily. 

Her heart ached at the sight as they disappeared, knowing that no matter what, if there were two lines, she would never have that kind of future. She would never be able to hold the hand of the father of her child if they even went for a walk. She would never have that family. Her body wouldn't buzz with happiness as she secretly watched their child playing with the father. Her soul and heart would not be content, full of love, pride and calmness. No. If she was indeed carrying a child inside her body, her days would be filled with anxiety, stress and madness. 

She knew him. No matter how soft he could be on rare occasions, he was still filled with darkness and anger. He was still the man who could kill someone in the blink of an eye. Still the same person who could dispose her the moment the truth was out in the air. After all the weeks, she didn't even know why she kept going back to him.

_Yes, you knew, you still do._

Whispered the betrayal of her heart and mind. And those voices weren't lies. Deep down she knew. She knew the reasons. Just like she knew her life would never be the same if she was right.

Sighing, she closed her eyes, stepping away from the window on unsteady legs as another wave of dizziness rolled through her, making her fists clench beside her sides. She needed to get her act together. She was stronger than this. She couldn't just lose herself in the fear, she couldn't let it swallow her. She had to fight. Just like she always had.

Inhaling deeply, she looked at clock on the wall and saw that those three minutes passed evilly. Heart thundering under her chest, she slowly made her way to the bathroom, only stopping in front of the door for a second to gain strength, before she pulled it open and stepped inside, allowing the fate to decide what would happen next. Because no matter what, she realized in that moment, she would fight. Fight to be able to make her decisions herself. Fight to regain the calmness inside her, to make the storm pass. 

With careful, light steps, she stopped in front of the sink. Now or never. She clenched her eyes shut, taking all the three sticks in her hands, gulping down the prompt nervousness attacking her. Peeking her eyes open, she saw what she feared but suspected all along. She felt all hope leave her body, because even though she expected it, it didn't make seeing the results any easier. 

 _Positive_ , all three tests showed in unison. 

She was pregnant.

With the child of a mobster. A Bratva Captain.

She was going to be the mother of Oliver Queen's child.


	2. Fussing Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I'm actually blown away by the response. When I posted this I didn't think that many people would be interested in this journey. But wow, I'm still shock. You are amazing and thank you so much <3
> 
> About the chapter... Sorry for not updating earlier it's just I wasn't home last week and this week SOTY happened. I'm not exactly satisfied with this chapter but this had to be done to get to a certain point. I will try to update the story once a week at least but that depends when I will find time to be alone because today for writing was a disaster. Also, when I get used to writing again - because it's been a year since the last story I wrote - the chapters will get bigger and bigger.
> 
> Anyway, here's the new chapter. Enjoy it :)

Felicity Smoak wasn't someone who felt the terrifying sensation of being choked by stress a lot. If she was being honest with herself she only felt it once in her entire life. When she was waiting after graduation to find out if she got into MIT or not. She could remember exactly the countless sleepless nights she had, just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling while small blurry visions danced in front of her eyes like shooting stars as she imagined the possible outcomes of what was ahead of her. She could still recall the tremor in her body, the excitement and worriness in her veins as the days went by and even though her mother reassured her that she would be fine she still couldn't shake off those feelings.

Just like she couldn't rub off the emotions she was having at the moment.

Things were different, she told herself.

Very different.

Closing her eyes, she let out a shaky breath, praying for any kind of god that could allow five more minutes with her mother. She would give up anything to talk to her, to ask for her forgiveness for being reckless and not being a better daughter, to get her advice on the whole situation she was going through. She knew that whilst they were two different people with different mindsets she would still be able to give her the best answer she had. Or even if she wouldn't be able to come up with something promptly, she would hold her while Felicity fell into pieces in her arms. She would make her hot milk and caress her hair as she talked about something just like when she was a little girl and had come home from class crying because one of her classmates was a jerk. She vividly remembered how her mother turned her crying mess into a giggling little girl with only her words. 

Despite the situation, a small smile appeared on her lips just as a tear escaped her eyes and slipped down her cheek at the memory. 

She really missed her mother. More than anything. 

Even though they had their differences, ups and downs, she could always count on her when things turned to bad. Just like now. 

But this was different then when she was waiting for the letter from MIT. This was different then when she came home crying. Because then, her mother was still alive.

Her head collided with the headboard of her bed as she brought her knees up, clenching the pregnancy tests in her hands. She had no idea how she managed to drag herself to her bed before she felt her breath quickening, her heart racing in the speed of light as if it was mandatory. She never had a panic attack before. This was the very first time something triggered this kind of panic out of her and it took her long minutes, who knows maybe even hours before she could calm herself enough to not start hyperventilating at a train of thought. 

She knew she had to collect her shattered pieces but how? How was she going to face him, knowing she was carrying his child? How was she going to tell him? How was she going to gather her will to see him in the first place?

The last time she saw him was two weeks ago, but even then only for a few hours because they had gotten into a pretty big fight and ever since then, she just didn't want to face him. And as it seemed like, neither did he, because he never once texted or called her. 

While it shouldn't have angered her because they weren't in a relationship or anything it still did and it only fueled the madness of not wanting to see him anymore. But now she had to.

Her lips trembled as her insides shook. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that she was pregnant. She, Felicity Smoak, MIT class of '09, worker at Queen Consolidated, pregnant with the child of her boss, the CEO, the Captain of the Starling branch of the Russian mob. This whole affair with him, her boss, seemed like it was right out of a cliched book, that she could actually imagine herself writing in another universe. Specially after that she found out he was also a member of the Bratva. That would be the second part of her infamous book series. But now with the pregnancy...

A sudden rush of nausea flooded her and she jumped up, running to the toilet to empty the contains of her stomach. She barely even had time to kneel down before everything come out, along with fresh new tears, because this couldn't be happening to her. It must be some kind of sick nightmare, her mind was punishing her with after not cutting ties with Oliver after the first time they had sex. She should have listened to the rational part of her mind long ago, but it was too late now. They had created a child together. Not out of love. Not out of happiness. And definitely not because they wanted to. No, that poor child was created out of lust. With that thought, she bucked again, squeezing the edges of the toilet to not lose her balance, as the remaining food left her body, replaced by the feeling of the entire world spinning around in a way too fast manner. 

Gosh, she was a total wreck. 

As tears continued to gather under her eyelids, she tried to compose herself, fighting back the hits of nausea. She was completely hopeless and out of her element and she needed to do something about it. Now. 

Slowly, being extra careful, she stood up, holding onto the sink until the spinning sensation passed around her and she could open her yes without falling back to the floor. Her eyes contacted with her own gaze as she opened the faucet and splashed water on her face. She looked as bad as she felt. Her eyes were red from crying, her makeup was all over her face in spots, her nose was puffy and there were remains of vomit around her mouth. Gaze wandering down, she watched her belly, lifting the fabric that was covering her skin with quivering fingers. There were no signs of her being with a child, no bump, nothing, just naked skin. 

Lifting her hand, she touched her tummy, different feelings mixing inside her body that she couldn't name. 

She wasn't ready to be a mother. And this was not how she pictured herself becoming one, one day. Not that she dreamed of that at all. Between having to bury her mother and getting lost in work, she didn't think about it. The thought never even crossed her mind. When she was a little girl and her father was still with them, she did of course daydream about having a family once she grew up, just like every other girl around her, but back then, things weren't this tense and saddening. The world didn't look like it was turning into a horrible place and she never had to worry about the things that were currently happening. When she was a girl, she always thought she would fall in love with someone and then have a family just like hers. Then everything was turned upside and down. His father left, then her mother died and she was left alone.

Despite the fact that she wasn't ready to have a child, she knew one thing without a doubt as she watched herself in the mirror. She knew that fact even though she was sure her old girlish dreams of having the perfect family wouldn't be true.

She wouldn't be able to give up the baby for abortion. That was out of the question.

No matter how afraid she was of the future she would give birth to the baby. What would happen after that was a question for another day, because she wouldn't be really comfortable giving her baby up for adoption either, but then again raising a baby while its father was in a mob wasn't really bright. What if Oliver wanted to bring it into the dark world of the Bratva? No, she wouldn't let that. Protectiveness filled her, her hand stroking her naked skin on her tummy, even though the baby couldn't have been bigger than a jelly bean. But what if some other big boss of Oliver found out she was pregnant and decided to kill them? She wouldn't be able to protect them from the fury of the mob, unless Oliver himself did something about it. Would he even try to protect them? While she knew how he was about her safety, she didn't really know what would happen once he found out he was going to be a father. Would he just reject her and the baby? Would he look at her with disgust or blame her for ending up pregnant? 

Or would it be better to avoid facing him and just disappear into the night while she could? But then again, what would happen once her secret was out? No matter what, no matter the kind of person he was, he still deserved to know the truth and honestly, Felicity wasn't sure how she would look into the eyes of her child and lie when the girl or boy asked about her or his father. What would she say anyway? _Hey, sorry buddy, you father was a mobster, so I just packed up everything and left without letting him know you exist?_ Nuh-uh. Lying was not an option, she didn't even have to explain why and just spilling the truth like that? She didn't know how she would react, let alone a kid.

"Oh, frack." She murmured, taking a step back from the mirror, the shirt falling down and covering her belly. She would really, really love to gulp a glass full of wine to clear her chaotic mind before the tangled thoughts formed a headache again. But then again, she couldn't because she was pregnant. 

Maybe, she could replace the wine with mint-chip ice cream. Yup, that would do. It's not unhealthy to the baby and she could still lose her sorrowness in it. Felicity quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth then took off into the direction of the kitchen. If nothing else, then at least the ice cream could be her best friend for the night. 

After getting it, she sat down on the sofa and with the spoon in her mouth, she unfolded the yumminess and started eating it, moaning as she swallowed the first piece of the ice cream. Ice cream was another thing she could always count on. Because no matter how bad her day was, it always made everything look brighter for the time being while she ate at least. Then of course, reality would creep its way back into her, bringing the everyday stress that would make her tense. 

As she tried to take the fourth or even fifth bite? Though, who cared about counting that. Something couldn't let her have her peace. It was gnawing at her. Without a second thought she stood up and headed towards her bedroom to make a call. Setting up a meeting with him to get over things wouldn't hurt, would it? At least she would be able to eat without little evil elves poking her to do something to let him know. Win-win, right? God, she was terrified.

Picking up the phone, she dialed his number, her brain turning on the autopilot mode to prevent herself from chickening out and running back to the living room. She pressed the dial button, anxiety resting in her stomach as the phone rang and rang. Every ringing felt like eternity as she held her breath. Maybe, he wouldn't pick up? Not that she would mind that. A part of her was still filled doubt about the whole calling him thing. Was it really the best idea?

At this point she was a puzzled mess, with having no logical thought and that angered her. She wasn't the kind of person to do that. She was always collective, putting on a brave face, never showing anyone any real emotion on how things were affecting her. Though the last part had only been true since her mother passed away.

"Felicity?" He asked. Judging by his tone he was as surprised as worried. In spite of changing phone numbers, they rarely called each other. Especially Felicity. The only time she called him was when she really needed to forget the stress she was having.

"I, ugh..." She swallowed, eyes shutting close and fighting back the tears. Why was she behaving like that? Saying one easy sentence wasn't that hard, so why couldn't she?

"Are you alright? Did something happen to you?" His tone was much more intense and she could actually feel the tension radiating off of him even from the far distance.

She inhaled deeply, already taking away the phone from her ear to cut the call. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I just-" She stopped, not knowing how to continue.

"Felicity, what happened? And don't say nothi-"

"Nothing. Look this was a mistake. Good night."

"Felicity wait-" She heard him speak as she disconnected the call and put the cellphone on her nightstand. Not even a moment later her phone was ringing again. She pressed the decline button and opened the messages, sending him a quick  _"leave me alone"_ text. His reply didn't come and she thanked him for respecting her wish for once. The next time they meet he would surely mention this, but she couldn't really care now. 

Dragging herself back to the living room, she sloped down, took the ice cream again and started eating, trying to turn off the invading thoughts about her brief conversation with Oliver. Adding that to her list of things to worry about, Felicity shut down the circulating thoughts and irritating doubts and just ate.

There were so many things to do she didn't even know where to start. So until she was done eating, she wouldn't care about anything. From work to being pregnant, to worrying about the future. While she was eating, she was just an ordinary person enjoying the little slice of calmness before going back into the storm.

* * *

An annoying sound.

Not birds, not knocking, not the neighbors drilling a hole through the wall, but something even more annoying.

It ended, then it started again.

It was like a fury symphony that didn't want to leave her alone. 

Groaning, she lifted her head and looked around. She was lying on her sofa on her stomach and it was already morning by the looks of the brightness filling the room from the windows. Morning!

She fell asleep while eating last night! Oh no. She was going to be late. Jumping up from the furniture she knocked off the ice cream container from the table and the melted ice cream spread on the floor. 

"No, just not now." She sighed, crouching down to clean up when the bothering sound came back on. Head shooting up, she tried to locate the source of the sound as she walked towards it, forgetting the sticky, slippy ice cream on the floor. As she took the next step, her foot came in contact with the slippery food and the next thing she knew she was on the floor, her butt hurting from the impact of landing suddenly, her hand aching from being bent incorrectly.

She let out an annoyed huff, looking at the mass around her, because of course if she landed on melted ice cream it would splash everywhere.

"This is so not my week." Felicity murmured, rubbing her wrist that pulsated with pain. 

Somehow, she dragged herself up into a standing position when she heard the noise again. Stepping towards her bedroom, where the sound was coming from, pain shooting through her leg to her butt with nearly each step. Maybe, eating that ice cream wasn't the best idea after all. Walking into the room and wincing at the pain, she picked up her very annoyingly ringing phone. 

"Felicity, where are you? I've been trying to call you for an hour!" Came an even more annoying voice. Nicholas Allen, her colleague. He was actually a very sweet guy, when he wasn't driving her crazy. Which he was nearly 24/7.

"Act like you care Allen." Felicity replied, not caring if she sounded rude or unprofessional.

"Look, I know you don't like me, but please let's put that aside for now okay? It's about work. I'm not trying to get you to do anything for me, even though the date I told you about still stands in case you changed your mind, but-"

"Allen, to the main topic please."

"Right. Look I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything because you are already late but, the boss is here, as in the boss' boss' boss and he wants to talk to you." 

"You mean Oliv- Mr. Queen?" She asked, glancing at the clock. She was indeed thirty minutes late already. Pressing the phone between her shoulder and her ear she walked to her closet, picking up a dress for work. She still had to shower, clean up the mass she did and she hadn't even drunk her coffee yet!

"Yes. He said it's urgent." Dread filled her. She didn't want to see him yet under no circumstances.

"Can't you send someone instead of me?"

"No, he specifically asked for you." Now what? She really couldn't face him. Not after yesterday's events. Maybe if she said she wasn't feeling well, it would help her get away? But then, because she called him yesterday then not showed up, he would be the one to show up to check on her and then she would be completely alone with him. At work at least she was surrounded by people and he couldn't talk about anything private to avoid spreading rumors.

Her gaze suddenly stopped at the left pregnancy tests on her bed as she placed down the dress on the mattress. She wasn't ready to tell him. She sincerely didn't know how to tell him. How would you drop that kind of bomb on your lover? Lover... What a creepy word. Felicity flinched at the thought of it. They weren't in love so technically he couldn't be her lover. She couldn't even consider him her friend. They were more like acquaintances. Just two individuals that hooked up every now and then. 

That was the hardest. What did other people do in these kind of situations? Would they get married and play the happy family? Or would they try to get to know each other, hoping things work out between them? Maybe they part ways? 

But more importantly, how would she tell him? Just say _Hi I'm pregnant with your child by the way_ or what? How long should she wait until she told him? She knew the sooner the better, but would that do any good? If he were to reject them, send them away or worse the time wouldn't matter. Though if she waited a lot and then just told him completely out of the blue he might get angry for keeping it a secret for long. No. She would wait at least a little longer. She herself couldn't really wrap her mind around about this. She needed the time for herself and he had to understand that later. Plus, waiting until the first appointment with her doctor was over couldn't really do much harm. 

"Felicity?" She jumped at the sudden noise in her ear, barely catching the phone.

"I'm sorry, just zoned out for a while."

"So, are you coming or...?" Nick asked, his voice indicating he was running out of his patience which was understandable when the CEO was breathing down your neck waiting for an answer and god that was not how she wanted that to sound like.

Biting her lower lip, she nodded even though her colleague couldn't see her, then added. "I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Make that ten." Said a voice on the other side that she would never not be able to recognize. The voice of the person that had caused her to breakdown the other day. The voice of the intimate person whose aura demanded attention and respect. It was him, she was sure of that. Just like she knew she was in some sort of trouble for him to just take someone's phone and act like that.

Without a chance to reply, the phone call was disconnected and she knew without a doubt that she was screwed.

So, very screwed.


	3. Interruptions and Escapes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the huge reply. It actually makes me either cry with happy tears or smile like a child in a candy shop. <3
> 
> Here's the new chapter and surprise, there's another one coming this week! :) Unfortunately, I can't speak Russian so the sentences exchanged by Oliver and someone are in Italic. Though that might change I just don't want to use google translator.
> 
> Happy reading!

"Nick, where's he?" She asked, breathing heavily, a bead of sweat rolling down her temple. Running up to the seventh floor where the IT Department was, wasn't the easiest because of course, in honor of Murphy's Law, the elevator wasn't working the moment she really needed it. Even though he said she must be here in ten, it actually took her around twenty minutes which was a record itself, considering that she had to clean up the mess she did with the ice cream, had to shower, get dressed, apply the usual makeup and also stop at her favorite coffee shop because duh, there was no way she was going to face him with no caffeine in her veins.

That was basic, whether he was angry or not. By the way what could have made him angry? Calling him? They had agreed to call each other when the other needed certain help, as in a quick forget-everything-and-get-lost-in-pleasure-fucking, so assuming he thought she wanted him, he had no reason to be mad at her for changing her mind in the last second. Even if she was calling for an entirely different reason that he did not necessarily need to know. 

"He is in your office I guess." Nick replied, sounding frustrated and very, very irked. 

"Look-"

"Don't Felicity, just get there already." He said, not looking anywhere but his own computer screen. That made her stomach drop. What could have happened in the past twenty minutes that changed the atmosphere to this cold and tense? More likely, what did Oliver do? She had never seen Nick like this. He was almost smiling every minute of a day and even if he was in a bad mood, he always tried to lighten up everyone's workday. 

Felicity looked around suddenly, seeing how almost everyone was in the same mood as Nick. Buried in work, not glancing anywhere but papers and computer screens or keyboards. What made her worry was the tension hovering in the air. It was so thick she was afraid to take the next breath to avoid cutting it. Usually people were talking with their colleagues, teasing each other or making jokes but this? Never. She had never seen her workplace like this before. 

"What did he do?" She asked, her voice lower to not disturb anyone and also to avoid exploding the tension into god knows what. 

"Hmm...?" Finally, Nick lifted his head and met her gaze.

"Mr Queen. What did he do?"

"Didn't I tell you to go?" He snapped, turning back to his work, hitting the keyboard with more force than she liked. She opened and closed her mouth to reply, but she couldn't. Shaking her head a tad, seeing it was better to leave him, she turned, feeling suddenly the eyes of the entire department on her back. She heard whispers she couldn't understand, but what really made her freeze were Nick's following muttered words she barely caught. "Before he fires the others too."

That made her snap too and she headed towards her own office, forgetting every worriness she had, because how dare he fire someone for something that was her fault. CEO or not, father of her child or not, she would give him a piece of her mind and Lord save him, she wouldn't be indulgent. Even if they weren't close friends with Nick or anyone else from QC, she wouldn't just let him be fired. Especially not because he decided to play dictator in pants. Also, didn't he realize what kind of rumors will be spread now because of his reckless actions? Sure, it didn't really concern him because he was the freaking CEO, but her on the other side was another topic. The way he might have acted could make people question if she slept her way to where she was within the company. Which wasn't true. At least a part of it. She was already the Head of the IT Department by the time they met plus the first time she didn't even realize it was him. 

Felicity shoved the door open and by the force of that it hit the wall before closing behind her. Oliver, causally sitting in her chair, looked up at her, arms crossed with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes, his so blue eyes, captured her attention for a second before she snapped out of whatever hold he had over her with his gaze. "How dare you? How fucking dare you?" She asked, not caring if others could hear her. 

Oliver didn't answer just kept looking at her, his eyes narrowing a bit as they exchanged a battle with their gazes. Her blood heat up and she could actually feel the temperature rising in the room, making her feel like the hot air was choking her. It's been two weeks of not seeing each other. Two weeks of not touching the other. Two weeks of not feeling the other. Knowing these facts, Felicity felt like her clothes were burning and she couldn't understand this feeling. Her skin was itching and she definitely felt something in her lower parts she should not have felt just by looking at him. It was normal, she told herself. She was so used to having sex with him nearly every week since they met, her body got used to it. Or at least that's what she believed. Wanted to believe. There was nothing between her and Oliver just lust, hunger and the burning feeling she could actually feel now.

Taking a step closer, she continued, letting the lust pulsating in her veins feed her fury. "Why did you fire him? He did nothing wrong to you."

Still not answering, Oliver stood up, righting his suit and damn, she licked her lips, another wave of lust lapping at her as he moved closer. She tilted her head to avoid breaking her gaze, feeling the way his whole body radiated warmth. He was just as affected as she was. His pupils were as dilated as she assumed hers were. Her lips parted, inhaling the air in and out of her mouth quicker than she should have. Gaze wandering down, her eyes found his lips, his kissable soft lips she remembered tasting. They only kissed twice, but it was a sensation she would never forget. It was her idea actually. To not kiss. She was the one to set it when they agreed on keep having the other, because she couldn't. She just couldn't. Kissing would mean an emotional connection she had no desire with him.

Their "relationship" was what it was. Pure fucking when the stress would be too much or when they just needed it. 

But as she watched him, another desire washed over her that she couldn't want. That she couldn't have. She wanted to kiss him. She put the blame on her battling hormones. Eyes fluttering close, she shook her head, trying to shake off the feeling and get back to reality. With that she remembered the reason behind her anger and poked him in the chest, earning a little growl out of him that she tried really hard not to hear. 

"Answer me." Her voice came out, but it barely sounded like a whisper swallowed by the silence of the walls. He leaned closer, his face brief inches away and she could actually feel on her lips the way he breathed in and out, so collected, so... normal.

"In my office. Now." He growled, his words sending a vibration through her body as he straightened himself and walked to the door, like she was the only one affected by whatever lust haze that came over them.

"No." She answered, in a much more determined way that made him pause. 

"That wasn't question." 

"I don't care. I'm not a pet you can just order around." She spit out, anger rising in her body. If he really thought she would just follow his orders he was wrong. Dead wrong.

He turned around, fury flaring up in his eyes, jaw set, his body tensing. "You-"

"I'm not going anywhere, whatever that is you want to discuss, we can do it here." She cut him off, blushing slightly as she remembered the time she said those words in a not so platonic way. 

Fists clenched, he walked over to her like a predator sneaking upon its prey and she backed away from him, until she came in contact with the furniture behind her. 

"You want to talk here? Fine. Then start talking." His voice was so low it sent chills down her spine. The only time she heard him speak like that to her was the day he came back from Moscow with what she assumed not too good news, because the whole time they were together his muscles were fully tensed, making it feel like concrete when she touched him. Swallowing, she cleared her mind from the memories to concentrate. She really needed to stop recalling memories of when they had sex. She managed to do it for two weeks, this plus tme wouldn't be that hard.

"What do you want me to say? 

He stopped only a feet away from her, arms lifting up to cage her between them, her breathing coming out faster as a result. "The truth. Why did you call me yesterday?"

"Well, it was after midnight so technically it was already today and-"

"Felicity. Just answer me." Her mouth fell open, but she couldn't gather the power to tell him. She couldn't. Not here and definitely not now. Who knew how many people were listening in on their conversation anyway? 

Before she could force out a lame reply, he put a finger on her mouth, cutting her off. "You think I don't know you Felicity. But I do. The truth please. We both know you didn't call me just because you wanted to hear my voice, so tell me."

"I-" A knocking sound came from the other side and Felicity thanked any kind of God that existed for saving her from the whole moment. 

The door cracked open and a second later Oliver's assistant, a woman in her late-twenties, stepped inside with a neutral face, holding a stock of paper. "Mr. Queen, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but your meeting with the board is starting in five minutes." She couldn't help herself but let out a sigh of relief and right away, Oliver turned back to her, releasing her, jaw clenching so hard she was surprised she didn't hear a cracking sound yet.

"I'll be there in a second." Oliver answered professionally, not looking anywhere else but her.

His assistant nodded and walked out, leaving the door open for any curious person who wanted to see what's happening. 

"We are not done Ms. Smoak. I expect you in my office once the meeting is done." He glanced at her once more and added, his tone lower, almost like a lover's soft whisper. "If you are not there when I walk out of the conference room, I will come and get you." With that he walked away with collected strides, leaving her panting mess behind. 

"What had just happened?" She asked herself quietly, head lolling back to meet the cabinet behind her.

"Had fun I see?" Said the biggest gossiper of the company, Jessica. God, when she thought things couldn't turn worse of course she showed up to shove her nose in someone else's business again. The company was lacking gossips anyway, so why not make a scandal with Felicity on the front page?

"It's not what you think." Felicity bit out, moving away and taking a seat at her desk.

"Tell that to the position everyone found you in. With him between your legs. Don't worry, I can keep a secret." She winked at her then strolled away with a devilish laugh and a satisfying smirk on her face that Felicity really wanted to slap off.

* * *

Why was she there? She asked herself once again. Because no one could walk in on your conversation and no one could hear you. While you talk. Of course. 

She strode to the windows, looking at the calm city. She never actually appreciated how beautiful the city looked from up there. She could see miniature, ant-sized people walking on the streets, cars moving in different directions. Everything seemed calm like yesterday.

It had taken everything in her willpower to walk to the elevator and go up there because she knew the moment she stepped out of her quiet, safe place, everyone would start whispering behind her back or would look at her with different emotions from disgust to pity and so on. And she was right. The moment she put her feet out of her office, the entire floor buzzed with voices, all about her. While she tried to shut out those voices some comment still caught her ears, shattering something inside her because she never wanted that. She never liked spotlight itself but when she was in the spotlight for other people mistaking her... She hated that and never understood why it gave the satisfaction for others. Spreading lies, gossips about someone is disgusting. Something she couldn't imagine ever doing.

She could still hear some of those lies. Whilst she knew she should just forget them she couldn't. Different voices kept echoing in her mind. 

_"Do you think she got a position in the company on her knees too?"_

_"Disgusting. Just look at her. Her whole frame is screaming slut."_

_"So everything we heard about her was false. She is just another gold-digger probably."_

_"Bitch."_

_"I can totally understand her. Just look at him."_

_"Wow, do you think she will be his assistant now, so she can keep pleasing him whenever he wants?"_

Letting out a shaky breath, she touched the glass, the cold material cooling her swirling emotions a tad. She knew how it was. After every bad there was something good to come. The only question was how long would the bad last and how long the good. She placed her hand on her belly for the first time like that, reminding herself that the baby she was growing inside her could actually be the source of the goodness coming soon. Or it could be even worse, said another voice in her head. If the rumors of her wouldn't die down until she started showing everyone would say she was knocked up by him. Which wasn't far from the truth but not in the way people thought.

A tear escaped her eye as her thumb kept stroking her covered abdomen, slipping down her cheek, not stopping until it hit its end destination. Maybe leaving the city wasn't such a bad vague idea.

A throat being cleared startled her and she jumped, quickly moving her hand away from her belly to wipe off the falling tear. Heard head snapped towards the door where Oliver stood in all glory, rocking that three piece suit he was wearing like a God.

Oliver treaded to his desk and sat down, motioning her to do same. She did without a word, glancing anywhere but him, feeling her heart thundering faster under her chest as nervousness attacked her. She didn't know what would happen now.

"I think we should clear the air."

"There's no air to clear. I told you, I'm not your girlfriend so you can do whatever you want in your free time." 

"Then why did you disappear for two weeks?"

"I didn't disappear. I just needed time for myself. To rethink everything that's happening in my life." Felicity explained, playing with her fingers nervously. It was something Oliver did a lot of time but after a while she took on that habit too. It helped her calm herself down a little in situations like these. "Why did you fire Nick?" She changed the topic, hoping to get far away from bringing up their phone conversation. 

"I didn't fire him." She narrowed her eyes, not believing him. He knew how to lie but he could never cross her. She figured out he wasn't telling the truth the moment the words left his mouth. 

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Felicity." He added.

"Oh, but I have to, right?" She raised her voice, anger seeping back into her. Pathetic. That's how she would describe what he did now if anyone asked her. 

He leaned closer to her, eyes boring into hers. She was getting really tired of the whole day. Especially because of him. 

"No. I never asked you to do it. I just want to know why you called me. It's that simple." 

"Nothing is simple when it comes to you Oliver." She raised her voice, the anger in her bursting out after hours. 

"Keep your voice low."

"No, you can't command me what to do. Do you even stop for a second to think about what your actions could do to the people around you? Do you have any idea what I'm going to have to go through every day just because you thought it would be great to surprise me at my office?" 

"Felicity." He was running out of patience. She was sure. But she didn't care. 

"Don't Felicity me. Do you?" She stood up the moment he did, the atmosphere filling up with electrifying tension.

"Maybe we would have avoided this if you showed up at your workplace in time!" 

She took a step back just as he took one towards her, hands quivering from anger. 

"You don't get to put the blame on me when you were the selfish idiot again!" Her face fell upon realizing what she had said because Oliver was many things but not selfish. He made mistakes, just like she did, but those actions didn't make him selfish, just human. Something she couldn't identify crossed his face and he swirled around unexpectedly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he made his way back to his desk.

She knew how that word reminded him of his past mistakes, of his old self, the one he fought hard to leave behind. They had talked about it once briefly and she told herself she wouldn't be one to use that word on him and yet, here they were. "Oliver, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"I get it Ms. Smoak. You don't have to apologize. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?" She hated how cold he sounded. How professional he sounded.

"Don't fire Nick. He is a hardworking guy who deserves his position at the company." Oliver nodded, licking his lips and looking past her. Her head followed his gaze and she saw his assistant again at the glass door, holding a cup of coffee in her hand. 

"Mr. Queen, your 11:45 client is here." She said, placing the cup of steaming coffee on his desk. 

"Thank you Ms. Williams." The assistant flashed a polite smile, nodding at her before going back to her desk."

Oliver started working on some papers and Felicity stood still not knowing if she should say anything else. 

"If there's nothing else, you can go back to your work Ms. Smoak. I wouldn't like to steal your time." He said, not even acknowledging her in a normal way anymore. Okay, so maybe, saying the selfish word wasn't the best choice. Even if the whole situation was his fault. Mostly. He was right about her being at work in time. But he shouldn't have acted the way he did.  

Turning on her heels, she cast one last look at him then left his office, a bitter emotion settling at the pit of her stomach.

* * *

 

She tossed around for the third time, throwing off the blanket with a kick. Staring at the ceiling, she thought about what to do next. 

After leaving his office the day passed quickly. She locked her door to keep out the gossipers and got to work, planning and writing down the details of the project she was working on at the moment. It was about inventing a new security system for the company because let's be honest. The one, designed by the former Head of IT, was crapy. There were multiple breaks in just the last month! So, Felicity focused on making up the best ideas and by the time she checked the clock her workday was way over. Which was good because she didn't have to deal with going through the people she would really like to throw off a cliff. The building was quiet only a few people roaming here and there from which most was security. 

Getting home was even quieter. She didn't feel like listening to music and because it was past 10PM the streets were empty, making it easy for her to get home as soon as possible. 

Felicity rolled over to the other side, checking her phone for new messages. She sent a text to Oliver during lunch break but hadn't gotten a reply since then. She couldn't even fathom why but her conversation with him really ruffled her feathers. So much that she couldn't get a glimpse of sleep. She had been tossing around for hours now. She knew exactly that everything that had happened could be thanked to him but she still didn't like what she said. If there was any person on Earth who suffered a lot then it was Oliver. She didn't really know what happened to him throughout his life, all she knew was that his chest was covered in various scars that looked so painful her heart ached at the sight. And she also knew his father and sister had died many, many years ago. She didn't know if the article she read was right because it said they died in an unfortunate accident during skiing and she never asked him. They weren't close enough for him to just share that with her.

Anyway, if anything else his actions even towards her, showed that he wasn't selfish. A big Grumpy Cat 2.0? Maybe. But selfish? No. That was harsh from her.

Putting the phone down, she turned on the bedside lamp and picked up a book to read. Maybe if she read something she would fall asleep during it. Yes, that was a good plan. 

* * *

Gosh, she was going crazy. 

Currently, Felicity was sitting in front of her television in the living room, munching on popcorn and watching some random series she didn't even know the name of. She had read for like ten minutes before throwing the book across the room and giving up any hope of getting a little bit of sleep. That was how she found herself on her sofa again, changing channels until she settled over what looked like a very interesting TV show with the main character drawing letters on a board. Boooring, she wanted to scream this from the top of a building. The popcorn was more entertaining than the show, but at least the show gave her a reason to eat at midnight without feeling guilty.

She sighed, knowing well enough that no matter how boring, and nerve-destroyer the series she watching, she wouldn't fall asleep. But she had to try. She would rather have an aching neck in the morning than no ounce of sleep. 

Fingers trying to find more popcorn in the bowl but failing, she turned off the TV and headed towards the kitchen, putting the now empty bowl in the sink to wash it in the morning. It was Friday (or even Saturday?) so she would have plenty of time to do it when she wasn't feeling this lazy. She tapped her fingers on the counter thinking of what she should do next. Maybe it was time to consider adding night owl to her resume, bet it would look nice. 

Felicity yawned, dragging herself back to the bedroom. She fell on the bed, hugging the sheets close to her body. 

She stayed like that for like five minutes before sitting up. She needed to occupy herself with something. Gaze falling on her laptop immediately, she shook that idea away as quickly as it come, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate and she would be only mad at herself later for doing something stupid. Without thinking further, she held out her hand to get her phone and checked the messages again. She wasn't sure what she was expecting because if he didn't send a reply almost instantly then he wouldn't send it now. He was probably busy with Bratva business anyway.

But what if not? If there was a slight chance that he was home and not out somewhere she could go and apologize then get home and sleep? Maybe even tell him to expect a baby in like eight and a half months? Okay, she definitely wasn't ready to tell him just yet but she could actually talk to him. 

Checking the clock she saw it was 12:17 and knew he was still up. Getting up again for like the hundredth time that night, she threw on some clothes then quickly got ready. Less than ten minutes later she was in the car and driving towards the Queen Mansion. Thank god it was only a twenty minutes drive from there.

* * *

 

She couldn't count the times she had been at the Queen Mansion. Maybe three times? Or four? Maybe just two? She had no idea. Usually she met Oliver at his own place in the heart of the city but she knew he was here every Friday because handling the Bratva business was easier there than at his loft. Or that was what he had said. Though that didn't really make sense if she gave it a second thought because why own his own place if he barely spent time there? Taking care of mob business couldn't be handled only during the weekend, right? Or at least that wasn't really logical to her. Anyway it wasn't her business so she wouldn't question it.

Walking up the stairs toward the main door, the guards waved at her, probably recognizing her from her previous visits. She was about to knock when the door was pulled open revealing the house maiden whose name she couldn't remember. 

"Good night Ms. Felicity." 

"Good night... Um." She bit her lip, looking ashamed. The older lady was so kind and heartwarming yet she couldn't remember her name.

"Raisa. Come in dear. What brings you here at such a late hour?" She stepped inside, waiting as... Raisa closed the doors. 

"I'm actually looking for Oliver. Is he here?"

"Yes. Mr. Oliver is in his office."

"Thank you." Raisa smiled at her and she returned it, feeling glad to know Oliver had someone like her in his life. She hadn't met Moira so she couldn't know if she was as cold as the media made her but assuming what she went through too, she wouldn't be surprised. 

Looking around she saw two stairwells at the left and right side. And she didn't know which one would take her to Oliver. Frack.

"It's the right one Ms. Felicity." Raisa said almost immediately which had her hoping she didn't say the words out aloud and the older woman just assumed she was puzzled because if she said those words out loud without noticing, it could send her into trouble if she repeated it with different word. 

"Thank you." She replied, feeling embarrassed then took off into the direction of the Oliver's office.

She just hoped she wouldn't get lost in this giant labyrinth. She wouldn't be too happy if years later they would find her decomposed body because she was reckless enough to go on her own in the building. Okay, that was a bit paranoid. She wouldn't get lost. Just a little. Maybe.

Ending up at the top of the stairs, she turned right again, watching the paintings on the wall and the numerous doors that for her luck looked the same. Should she have turned left? Oh-oh. She was already getting lost. Maybe it was time to call the FBI for a possible job.

Just as she was about to go back and explore the other end, she heard his voice. 

"Felicity, what are you doing here?" She turned toward him, noticing the gun in his hand. Was he leaving already? Was she too late?

"I ugh... I couldn't sleep so I thought I would come here to apologize for what I said earlier. What happened was totally your fault by the way and you should know that but saying you are selfish wasn't the best choice of word." Oliver sighed and opened the door for his office, indicating to follow him. And she did.

His office looked... She didn't even know how to describe. Simple? It looked as she expected it from mob movies. A desk in the middle, with a big window. On the left side there were cabinets filled with god knows what along with a couch. The right side looked similar with only the couch missing.

"Sit, please." Oliver said and she did, nervousness once more gnawing at her because of the familiarity of the scene that happened not long ago. There was an awkward silence for a while, none knowing what to say to the other.

"I hope I'm not bothering or anything. I can leave if you want."

"No. Stay. It's always refreshing to have some company." He was warmer than he used to when he was in what she called Bratva mode, or was it just her? She couldn't tell. "Would you like some wine?"

"Oh no. I-" She stopped. She knew she shouldn't drink alcohol even if she had yet to do her research on what she couldn't drink or eat or do now that she was pregnant. That also made her realize that she had to set up an appointment with her doctor. What should she tell him? He knew she loved wine. "Not this time. I'm with my car so I have yet to drive home." Yes, that was a pretty reason to decline delicious wine and also not a lie. High five to herself!

Oliver quirked an eyebrow, pouring some into his glass. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Absolutely. 100% sure." One look at Oliver and she knew he wasn't buying what she told him. It wasn't the first time she had her car and on those occasions she never declined the wine before, knowing she could either stay for the night (in a separate room of course because cuddling after sex would totally not happen) or someone would drive her home.

"And what were you doing?" She changed the topic, seeing immediately how his body tensed a little. 

"Just going through some numbers. Checking if there's something missing or not."

"Sounds boring." She made a face then, seeing his lips quirking a bit. 

"It is."

"And-" 

"Look-"

They both started at once, words dying on their tongues upon realizing the other wanted to say something too. 

"You go first." He said politely.

"No. You." She smiled at him. She didn't even remember what she wanted to tell him, so he kind of saved her now.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. I shouldn't have and now you are going to have to go through things you don't deserve because of me." He explained, gripping the edge of the chair and leaning over slightly. He was nervous, she realized. She, Felicity Smoak, made him nervous. And also, he apologized. Again. Twice a day. That a was record breaking and she should have recorded it. "You know I can fire them all if you would like."

"Oliver." She chuckled, leaning to hit his arm. He let out a sound similar to "ow" and that made her chuckle more because she knew it wouldn't have hurt him. 

"Would you like-" He asked but was cut off by the sound of knocking. Muttering something under his breath she couldn't understand, mostly because it was in Russian, he said. "Come in." By the time he finished saying those tiny words he was in front of her, shielding her from a possible attack. At a second look he seemed to be more on edge than usual.

The door opened, revealing a man in his thirties. _"Sir, the car is ready along with your men."_

_"I'll be down in a minute."_ Oliver replied in Russian, which was also hot and a tad annoying because she didn't know what he was saying. It was a mystery and she hated mysteries with passion. They needed to be solved.

The man nodded and left and Oliver turned back, walking to his desk to put the gun away as well as a knife. She gulped. She hoped he wouldn't have to use those.

"I have to go Felicity."

"Yeah." She was kind of sad. Just when they were having a normal conversation after weeks he had to go. Typical.

"Will you be here when I get back?" He asked from the door and she found herself nodding before she could even realize it.

"Good. Just take the guest room next to mine." With that he disappeared, leaving her behind.

* * *

 

Whatever feeling this was she never wanted it to end. Hot, numbing pleasure on different places on her abdomen. She let out a contented sigh, at the pleasure spreading through her body, waking up every part of her body from her toes to the top of her head. They felt like light kisses. Something Oliver did very often. Felling a beard like thing scratch her skin her eyes fluttered open, seeing Oliver next to her, his lips leaving a trail of kisses. 

She gasped.

Panic flooded her body.

No.

NO.

He couldn't know. How would he? Would he be this gentle if he knew? But did he really know?

Sensing her discomfort, Oliver climbed closer to her, placing his hands on either side of her face. "Felicity, look at me. It's just me. Hey, look at me."

And she did, seeking comfort in the blue eyes of his. "Just breathe. In and out." Slowly but certainly, she matched her breathing with his, her racing heart calming along with her until she felt her breathing returning to normal. 

"Where did you go Felicity?" 

"How do you know?" She asked back, giving herself a mental slap for it. If he didn't know he would totally do now.

"Know what?" His face was still puzzled with absolutely no sign of any realization hitting his features, which was very good. Felicity let out a relieved sigh then, her body completely relaxing. He didn't know. 

"Nothing. I'm sorry. Must be the dream I was waking up from talking for me." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now go back to doing what you did, it certainly felt good."

Oliver huffed but did as she asked, his lips meeting her naked skin, the fire she tried to bury in the past weeks flaring up to life with her desire for him. He pulled up her top until it wasn't covering her breasts anymore. Cupping them through her bra, she moaned, butterflies dancing in her body. She missed this feeling. She missed this pleasure he created with his movements.

His lips moved upwards, as her breathing quickened, his hands adding pressure to her breasts in a way that made her gasp. She felt a pulsating need in her lower body already, her whole being longing for him, to feel him inside her. To feel the sensation of him filling her over and over again until she flew apart in his arms. His mouth kissed the top of her breast, hands moving under her back to get the bra out of the way and she helped, pushing her back up from the mattress until she felt the unwanted material being thrown away somewhere.

He took into his mouth one of her nipple and her head shot back to the pillow, her mouth hanging open. She couldn't think with all the sensations attacking her body. Her hands found his clothed back, dragging her nails over, feeling his muscles under the clothing as his own hands wandered south, caressing her sides, her skin heating as he touched her. 

One finger hooked around her pants and was about to draw it down when she suddenly realized where she was, and that she was pregnant. She didn't want to have sex with him until she was sure it was safe for the baby. Felicity caught his hand putting it on her other breast and Oliver got the sign instantly, massaging her boob with his rough fingers. No matter how much she wanted him she wouldn't do anything to endanger the baby.

Oliver released her nipple with a pop blowing air on it before going to give the other the same treatment. The way his mouth sucked at her nipple sent shockwaves through her body, making her pant as his hand stroked the delicate skin of her side and abdomen. But what really made her gasp was when he thrust down and his clothed rock-solid cock came in contact with her pulsing sex. Pleasure rolled through her again and she knew if she didn't stop now she wouldn't be able to later. Putting her hands on his chest she pushed him away until his mouth released her hard nipple and he looked at her. His pupils were so dilated, he himself was so aroused she felt sorry for putting it to a stop.

"We can't." She whispered, and saw as he froze, clearly not understanding her. Which was understandable since two minutes ago she asked him to continue.

He leaned back on his heel as her breathing evened out and watched him, trying to figure what he could be thinking.

"Why? Was it because of what happened two weeks ago?"

"No, it's not."

"Tell me."

"I can't."

"Why? What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid, I just can't." Felicity closed her eyes, shaking her head a bit.

"Fe-li-ci-ty."

"No, Oliver don't force me." She raised her voice, not liking the way he was trying to get her to do something she didn't want.

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me. What's bothering you? Did someone hurt you? Is that why you called yesterday?" He sounded angry, frustrated and even annoyed. 

"Please, don't make me do this. Please." She begged, pulling down the top to cover herself. She couldn't. She turned around to avoid facing him, putting her arms around her middle.

"Tell me so I can help."

"You can't help me Oliver. This isn't something you can just fix." She yelled, moving away from him as he touched her shoulder. It was too much she had to get out of here.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm pregnant." As soon as the words left her she covered her mouth with her hands, eyes widening in horror because she said the words she shouldn't have. That was not how she wanted to tell him. It's not how it should have happened. Feeling tears weil up in her eyes she took a deep breath, watching as Oliver froze, every muscle in his body tense. As tense as she had never seen before. It should have scared her, but she was already too terrified.

"I-" She started but stopped. Oliver stood like a statue. She wasn't even sure he was breathing at this point. He was just staring into thin air, fists clenching, jaw locked. Her heart hammered under her chest, her breaths coming out in quick pants as she watched him frozen, not knowing what to do next.

After what felt like minutes he looked at her.

Then she ran. 


	4. Ticking Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> Thank you so much for the incredible feedback. I'm either melting away or smiling like an idiot by each comment. So really. Thank you, for all of you. It means a lot. <3
> 
> And also, thank you all for trusting me enough to talk about our dear Matty. To make it clear, I don't care if she never comes back to the fandom as far as she is okay. But if there's something you would like to share, just do it :)
> 
> As for the chapter... I'm not satisfied with it. I will never be satisfied by this chapter, so I'm sorry for that. Also, sorry for not updating on Friday. Real life got evil and made me sick and didn't want to write in that condition. Anyway, there are sentences that are in Russian, as in really in Russian, because regardless of what I said last week, writing those sentences in Italic would spoil stuff to quickly. But the translations are at the end of the chapter. :)
> 
> Enjoy :)

She should have known. She should have freaking known from the beginning that it was a bad idea to go there. What was she even thinking? For a genius like her, she clearly made stupid decisions in the past few weeks. At first, coming over to him two weeks ago, then not being careful enough and now spilling the beans like it was nothing. Stupid, stupid decisions. 

Running through the hallway, one hand covering her breasts to avoid the pain of her bra missing, the other around her middle in a protective manner, as she silently apologized to the baby for doing something reckless again. She looked behind herself just as she reached the stairs to make sure he wasn't running after her. Not that she stood a chance if he was. He was trained for worse, catching her would probably be the easiest task he had ever needed to do. But she still turned her head to see if he was because in case he wasn't she wouldn't run down the stairs that quickly. Knowing herself, she would slip and fall down and then only a miracle could help her. She didn't want to lose the baby.

Not sensing anyone, which was strange alone, she took off, striding down the stairs, making sure to step carefully and not slip because of her slippy feet. She shouldn't have taken off her shoes when she lied down but then again she wasn't prepared for an outcome like this. Fear churning in her stomach, she reached the last stair without any incidents and rushed to the main door. 

Felicity unlocked the heavy door in a move, the chilly night air leaving goosebumps on her skin as she left the building behind, leaving something else too that she couldn't identify. Reaching the stairs leading to where she parked her car a few feet away, she moved down, not stopping, not caring what the guards thought upon seeing her like this. They probably assumed she was just another one of his toys who couldn't get satisfied by the time he did so he threw her out. Because that was his reputation. Though she never experienced that in first hand. A frown appeared on her face, but she didn't stop just moved on, landing on the stony ground.

The small sharp edged gravels cut into the skin of her feet, earning a hiss as she continued running towards her car. It was close, she could see it. She was never happier to see her car before than now. 

With the next step, dread filled her veins, a tremor moving down her frame as the air changed, and she could swore she actually smelt the danger in the air. Swirling around, she tugged the loose strands of hair away from her face, expecting Oliver to stop in front of her and drag her back to the house so they could talk. But that didn't happen. Her breathing come out in small pants as waited for the door to open and reveal him but that didn't happen either. In fact, she couldn't see anyone. No guards patrolling the area, no silhouettes being cast as light illuminated them. Everything was quiet. Way too quiet. 

Swallowing thickly, she took a step behind, a new wave of goosebumps appearing on her skin as her heart hammered under her chest. She needed to get out before her mind playing games would become worse.

She was about to turn around and rush to her car when she heard a noise from her right side, almost as if someone stepped on dried leaves. Head swiping in the direction, her eyes met with darkness, pure darkness surrounding the trees. The moon couldn't illuminate that darkness. She was only getting paranoid after the last time, she told herself.

Swirling around she stepped forward only to be met by a hard surface that wasn't before her the last time she was facing that way. By the force of the impact she lost her balance and fell back, her hands shooting out instinctively to deaden the landing. Gravel cutting into her palm, she lifted her head hoping with everything that was in her that for now it was Oliver, even though the rational part of her knew it wasn't him. He would have caught her before she could even realize she would have fallen down.

Gaze met by darker ones, anxiety attacked her body as she tried to move back, only to be caught by her arm. Strong fingers clutched her limb and she let out a whimper, trying to fight off the unknown intruder as she was dragged up into a standing position. She had no idea who this man was nor how she couldn't notice him before but she knew without a doubt he wasn't from Oliver's side. She needed to let Oliver know she was in trouble and that someone was on his property. Someone who must have done something to the guards as well. 

"No. Let go off me." Felicity said through the fog of panic clouding her mind, hitting the man's hand, who didn't even budge.

"Let's see what we have here." Said a low voice, almost like a deep grumble with thick accent as he caught her other arm with the same fierce, trying to tug her close. She stepped on his shoe, ignoring the bolting pain that went through her as well, making her wish she was wearing her sharpest heels. The man laughed at her, tightened his hold on her and looked behind her. She used that sudden distraction to open her mouth to cry for help when another hand appeared in her vision and covered her mouth, the words she was forming muffled away as a fourth hand come into view, wrapping around her throat and trapping her between the two men. 

"Это ее?" She heard the new voice near her ear, a disgusting breath hitting her skin, sending a stench to her nostrils. She struggled against the hold they had on her, knowing that she needed to get out and get to safety before something happened to the baby. She couldn't let that happen. Where was Oliver anyway?

"Я думаю так. Босс будет в восторге." Protectiveness and adrenaline pumping in her veins, giving her a new level of strength, she kicked the man ahead of her in the knee as hard as she could, feeling his hold lighten as he cried out in pain. Using that exact moment she bit the other man's fingers and tried to shove them away and make a run to the car when one of the men caught her wrist and thrust her back, and she collided with the attacker's chest.

"Help!" She cried out, her voice echoing in the otherwise calm night, praying that he heard her, that he didn't close off the world after she left, that he didn't just get lost in thoughts. 

"You bitch!" Attacker number one said, raising a hand to slap her and she turned her head away, clenching her eyes shut, waiting for the burning pain to spread through her cheek when the other man said something she couldn't understand because of course he was speaking in a different language that she assumed was Russian?

"Не делайте этого! Босс хочет, чтобы ее невредимой." That didn't make sense. Why would they want her then? Who the hell were they?

"Fine." His hard voice sent chills down her spine as tears wailed up in her eyes. She felt a clothing covering her mouth and a fresh round of panic flooded her like tsunami. If anything to judge by the movies she had seen over the years, they would drug her and kidnap her. No! She wouldn't let that happen. She tussled, doing anything in her will to make them let her go. If they were to drug her who knew what it contained or what it could do to the tiny growing jelly bean in her body. 

Attacker number two knotted the clothing behind her, making her unable to shout for help. Where was Oliver? Did they get him as well?

A tear trickled down her face as she tried to move to the opposite direction they were dragging her, her knees nearly giving out as the agony in her feet turned from bad to worse, making her mentally curse herself for being so stupid to leave her shoes behind in the big running. They stopped and the two men exchanged looks, nodding at each other before one of them moved closer to her.

Panting, she tried to get further away from the man, when a shot rang in the air.

The man who was closing in on her, dropped down, grunting in pain, as the other turned her over, placing a knife over throat, facing the shooter. Her eyes met with Oliver's and she couldn't remember a time she was as relieved as at the moment to see him. His eyes looked over her for possible injuries and she nodded slightly to let him know she was okay.

"Let. Her. Go." His iced tone made her stomach clench as she watched him glare at the man holding her. His whole body was so tense she wished she could make that stop. She hated seeing him like that.

The man tightened his hold on her, pressing the knife deeper into her skin and she tilted her head up, trying to get away from the sharp object. How much she wished this would be just over and she could collapse into her bed and sleep, preferably for a year. Oliver stepped closer, holding the gun up and pointing at the man's head. Damn, he looked sexy holding a gun and she should totally not think about these things while being held by a madman. She should feel fear and panic but the moment she saw Oliver, the anxiety flew from her body, safety replacing it only leaving a pinch of fear at the pit of her stomach for his own well-being. He would get her out alive, there was no doubt in her mind about that. 

"Make me." Her attacker growled in a different voice and she realized in that moment that he was using a voice modulator to mask his original voice. Who was he? Did they know each other hence why he wanted to keep his identity a secret?

Oliver took another step closer, and she could sense the rage vibrating off his body. Oh-oh. This man would be dead in a second if he wasn't holding her and if eyes could kill... The guy wouldn't die quickly. Glance meeting with Oliver's, with absolutely no idea how she understood the message he was sending and she nodded, waiting for the opportune moment. 

She could feel the smirk on the man's face behind her as Oliver moved closer, leaving only a few feet between them.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You see, I could easily slice her throat and she would bleed out before you could realize." Something crossed Oliver's face, but he masked it so quickly she just blinked. The man tho probably figured it out because he started laughing his hoarse voice even with the voice modulator irritating her. The knife moved from her throat a bit finally and she used that movement to lean her whole body on him like she was unconscious, catching her attacker by surprise. That was the only sign Oliver needed, because he lounged forward as her attacker threw her from the way.

Relief danced in her body, and she watched as Oliver fought the other man, sharing hard punches by punches. She didn't have to be an expert to know Oliver had the upper hand. Kicking him in the leg, their gazes met for a second as her attacker crouched down, holding his leg. "Run." Oliver told her and she didn't need to be told twice. Jolting to where her car was, Felicity dug the key out of her pocket with shaking fingers and unlocked her small car, just in time as more men appeared from the woods. 

She got in and was ready to start the car when she looked back only to have her heart skip a beat as she saw five men surrounding Oliver, all pointing guns at his chest. With unbelievable speed he switched one man's wrist, taking the gun as he cried out in pain, using the attacker's body as shield when the four men started shooting at him. Just when she thought he would get shot and she would be forced to watch him bleed out and die, men from the building ran out to help Oliver. Not that he needed help by the looks of it. One moment the men were standing and by the time she looked back only one was half standing.

"Who sent you?" He was scary. Even to her. His voice was cold like it had never been before and furious. Very furious.

Oliver grabbed the man by edge of his shirt, knocking him unconscious. "Возьмите их в подвал." He ordered, voice not showing any emotions besides the obvious rage.

She could see the blood on shirt as his gaze flickered to her. With long strides he was at her car and she tilted her head up to not lose eye contact with him. She rolled down her window and his gaze softened a little. So little that if she had never met him before she would not have noticed it.

"Are you alright?" He asked, lifting his hand but stopping mid-air like he changed his mind or didn't know what he wanted to do. She never saw him hesitate before. He was always so confident and collective. 

Not finding the right words, she bit her lip and nodded. Oliver moved his hands, his fingers briefly grazing her cheek as a shot echoed in the air making him stiffen as he turned. She followed his movement to see men fighting men. She had no idea who was on whose side.

"Go." Oliver told her and she nodded again, starting the car. Glancing one last time at him as he swirled around, she hit the pedal and drove away, several emotions whirling inside her like a tornado as the adrenaline started wear off.

Tears appeared in her eyes, the reality of nearly being kidnapped slapped her and a sob escaped her mouth before she could stop it. She clenched the wheel stronger, her knuckles turning white as her body started to quiver. She couldn't fall apart now. She needed to get home first. 

* * *

 She hugged her blanket closer to her, shut her eyes and tried to forget everything that had happened in the past few hours.

She had been trying to sleep for an hour now, but she still felt the tremor and knots in her body, so she knew for a fact that trying to sleep was bootless. She could still feel the men's hands on her skin as the touched surface tingled and burned some from the forming bruises, some from the panic, even though she tried to wash off those feelings. She scrubbed her hand under the water for an hour yet she could still perceive the way she was being grabbed. Like a ghost was still there, still holding her against her will.

Felicity shuddered, attempting to fight the cold sensation she was having by pushing the blanket above her head, closing off from the world, hiding under her shield. She curled up into a ball, keeping her hands on her belly. Who knew how close she was to losing the baby that night? What if she indeed lost it? No, she would know it, right? Deep in her bones, she would know it. Inhaling and exhaling in a fast manner, she tried to reassure herself that both of them were okay. The baby was also Oliver's, so it had to be a fighter just like its father. It wouldn't just give up.

But what if...?

No. Playing the what if game would only make things worse. She would set up an appointment with her doctor once the sun was up and it was a humanly hour to call someone. 

"Hey." A voice startled and she pulled the blanket down to peek out only to see Oliver standing in the doorway. It was already dawn so making out his features was easy.

Felicity sat up, holding her comforter to her chest, feeling as relief engulfed over seeing him. She had been worried about him too. While she knew she could protect himself with ease that didn't stop her from being afraid. Though, she blamed that feeling on the little creature growing inside her. She knew what it was like to grow up without a father, she didn't want the same for her child as well.

"How did you get in?" His face remained the same, although he tilted his head.

Of course. Gaze flickering to the window she saw it was unlocked and knew he probably climbed up. Stupid question. 

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say next. If he wanted to see if she was alright then he could go back to the mansion, because she was. 

He took a step towards her and Felicity shook her head in warning. If he came too close she would probably jump at him to seek comfort in the warmth of his body. Though, she was pretty sure she would do the same to anyone who came way too close to her. Thank god, it was only Saturday and she didn't necessarily need to leave her house for the day. She could stay in, cuddle up on the coach and try her hardest to forget what happened.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She tried to joke, but her attempt failed because if anything Oliver just tensed more. Great.

"Felicity. You don't have to be funny for me."

"I'm not, I just don't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Especially not you." She was glad, so glad he saved her but with the baby secret out she didn't want to talk to him just yet. Maybe as they talked the subject would change and then she would be forced to talk about it. She wasn't ready for rejection. It wasn't even herself that she would feel sorry for, but more like the baby. It wouldn't be the first time a man rejected her and probably not the last, so she would deal with it. One way or another.

"I'm not going to reject you, Felicity. How could you even think that?" Her mouth fell open as a blush appeared on her face. Naturally, she had said every freaking word out loud. Her luck couldn't get any better. Exactly what she wanted to avoid and now they would have to talk. Or not.

"I would like to be alone, Oliver." She said, her battling emotions indicating just how tired she felt in reality. She wanted nothing more than peace and safety. To know for sure those men weren't after her. To know that no one would come and try to abduct her in the middle of the night. To know that everything would be alright once the storm passed. But more than anything she wanted to be alone, even if deep down it wasn't true and she just wanted him to hug her tight and never let go. But that couldn't happen.

"I'm not the one who is rejecting the other, Felicity. It's you." Ouch. Okay, that felt like a stab in the chest for her. Her rejecting him. What? Was he insane? That wasn't true and he knew that too. He only said that to provoke her. But it was working because anger flared up in her at his words.

"You and I both know, that it's not true. I need time, that's what I told you and that's what I'm telling you now again." His eyes narrowed, matching the anger she was feeling. 

"Felicity." Gosh, she hated and loved how he said her name. Maybe not loved, but liked at least. "Ever since we met you were pushing me away-"

"Get out." She had enough. She had enough of the lies coming out of his mouth. 

"No. It's time we talked finally." Oliver took another step towards her and she stood up promptly, throwing the blanket on the bed. He wanted her to lash out? To be a jerk like he was to her two weeks ago? Fine, he would get that.

"If you ever want to meet your child after he or she was born, you get out now and give me time." He stiffened, surprise coloring his handsome face. He was as surprised as she was for saying those words. But there was no backing out now. No matter, how bad or guilty she felt for saying that, it was done and she would not take back the words. If he wanted to get to know his child he would have to respect her wishes first. She was nearly kidnapped for the love of God how was he even expecting to talk about them in the first place. Or let her correct herself. The non-existing them, since HE was the one to reject her, and not the other way around. He made it clear two weeks ago, that she wasn't anything to him just another random chick he screwed around. Though, the anger and shattered pieces of her heart was her fault as well because she let him make her believe that maybe she was special while in reality he was just feigning every emotion that she had ever seen cross his face. But she had made her heart stronger and she would not fall or more precisely she would not let him deceit her once more.

"Felicity." She bit her lip at how broken he sounded. She looked away, not being able to face him. No matter what he did, it still felt very wrong of her to do that. She was threatening to get him to leave her alone by saying he would never see his child if he didn't. She was going to be sick. She was a horrible person. The worst in the entire world with the coldest heart. How could she say that? How could she be so... rude and unfair? But just like she thought before, she couldn't back out anymore. It would make her a bigger idiot than she already felt.

"No. Get out." Felicity said, but her voice broke off as a sob escaped her body, realization of what she truly said hitting her. This wasn't her. This so wasn't her, she never felt more out of character before.

"Hey." A soft voice whispered before muscly arms came around her and she basically fell on him, embracing her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She buried her face in his neck not wanting to see the world, not deserving to even face the world by her attitude. She was going crazy she was sure now. Everything that happened finally made her insane.

She sniffed as another sob crushed through her, teardrops spilling from her eyes, coating his neck and shirt wet yet he didn't look troubled by it. She felt his hand stroking her back and that broke her even better because he should be yelling at her. He should be so mad at her and yet all he did was hug her as she fell apart. Just held her as stress took over and she couldn't bear it anymore. 

She felt a light kiss on her hair but she wasn't sure anymore if it really happened or she just imagined it. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She said through tears and felt his arms tighten around her protectively. She never felt so disgusted by her actions and yet he cocooned her with warmth and a sense of security. It should be the other way around according to every chronicle. He should be the big bad Mafia guy with a cold heart or no heart at all and she should be the one to lighten him up. It shouldn't be this way.

Felicity sniffed again, letting out a shaky breath. "It's okay. I'm sorry for making you question yourself, for making it feel like I would reject you." She could only nod against the crook of his neck as she tried to calm her breathing down to a normal pace. She didn't even understand what he truly said but it didn't even matter anymore because she would find out later.

Few minutes later, Oliver pulled back but she couldn't get herself to gaze into his eyes. She was too ashamed to do that. Placing the rough pad of his fingers under chin, he slowly lifted her head until she was forced to look him in the eyes.

"I'm gonna go now and give you time. Just promise me you will call me if you need me." Felicity nodded and Oliver continued. "I want to hear you say it."

"I promise." She muttered, feeling hollow inside her. Guilt was at the back of her head, burning her, but other than that she couldn't feel any other emotion. 

Oliver sighed then, placing a long kiss on her forehead and she closed her eyes, savoring the feeling, the way it eased a part of her guilt. 

"Good night Felicity."

"Yeah." That was all she said and before she had time to process everything he was gone just like he appeared, making her question if she was dreaming or this indeed happened. Lying down on her bed, she stared at ceiling, replaying the entire conversation in her head, one sentence not letting go and echoing in the silence.

_"I'm not the one who is rejecting the other, Felicity. It's you."_

As she lay there, she couldn't help but feel the weight of those words, the wheels turning in her head, analyzing the times they rejected each other. 

Minutes passing, she couldn't help but wonder if his words were true. 

Was she really the one rejecting him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Это ее? = Is it her?  
> Я думаю так. Босс будет в восторге. = The boss will be thrilled.  
> Не делайте этого! Босс хочет, чтобы ее невредимой. = Don't do this! The boss wants her unharmed.  
> Возьмите их в подвал = Take them to basement.


	5. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the huge response. It actually blows my mind. So really, thank you all <3
> 
> Here's the new chapter. Enjoy! :)

"Ah, frack." Felicity hissed, gritting her teeth as she pulled out a small piece of gravel from her foot. It might be little but the pain that shot through her leg wasn't. It was almost surreal how something that little could cause so much pain. She thought she had cleaned her feet thoroughly before going to sleep but apparently she was wrong. The moment she had gotten out of her bed and stood up, that little piece of gravel pierced her already hurting foot and she had to sit down and dig out the source of the pain. 

Her feet didn't look very good. Both of them were covered in cuts, some deep some not, making even the simplest task, like walking, difficult.  

If she had to be honest with herself, she had no idea how she would make herself breakfast or even get to the kitchen. But she had to somehow since her stomach was empty and she also had her phone downstairs. 

Putting her hand on the edge of the bed, the other holding the devil aka the gravel, she tried to pull herself into a standing position, feeling as if her feet were burning. Ha! And standing up was the easiest of all, now she would have to actually get to her kitchen. A growl escaped her mouth at thought as she pulled up her fluffy slippers. At least those were going to keep her legs cozy.

Ignoring (or rather just trying as it was constant) the ache, she walked down, looking around the bright room as rays of sunshine cast the walls in light making the environment warm and homey. When she painted her walls a light orange-ish color that was exactly her goal but she had never actually noticed it before. It gave her a sense of belonging even if she felt truly lonely. 

She didn't have many friends. Of course, she had colleagues whom she could talk to about a few things but she never considered them her friends. They only talked when they were at work but now with the spreading gossips, she would have no one to lean on. They wouldn't talk to her as openly because of fear of their own reputation hitting a notch. Not that it would actually affect it, but that was how most people thought. 

And friends outside of work... She barely went out since her mother passed away. She just buried herself in work. Which was why she always thought that meeting Oliver was sheer luck or misfortune depending on how she viewed the topic. She couldn't really pinpoint why she was there. It was a masquerade ball for the employes of QC but she could have stayed at home. Her presence, even if she was Head of IT, wasn't required. Instead, she chose to go and then she met him and they had a quickie in a storeroom. She blushed at thought and it spread over her chest whilst she recalled that night, the loud music, the smell of sweat lingering in the air as she sat near the bar. She was just there. Enjoying the free alcoholic drink in her hand while she watched the people dance. She had no idea who was whom or which department they worked on. Not just because of the masks but because she had never met them. From her own department she had spotted only one man who was pressed between two women as they danced for the rhythm of the song playing in the background. That was when she felt it.

Eyes on her. His eyes.

Her had head turned in its own accord, searching for the owner of the gaze and she met with the most piercing blue eyes she had ever witnessed someone having. His gaze held coldness, attention, confidence, lust with a pinch of anger that was not directed at her but on something else. She was sure her breath hitched, but she didn't care because then he started striding towards her, his muscles flexing under the tight suit he was wearing making her mouth water. She licked her lips just as he halted, sloping down on the empty chair next to her and ordering a drink. She had no idea who he was then, his green mask covering half of his face, only letting her get a peek on his eyes and lips. His lips, that looked soft. Then and there she wanted nothing to do then kiss him and just get lost in him. She blamed it on the fact that she hadn't gotten laid in an awful while because as she watched him gulp his drink, the veins in his neck visibly moving as he drank, she wanted him to fuck her. She had never been into one-night stands but for some reason his presence provoked that out of her.

An hour later she did get what she wanted. He was buried deep inside her, thrusting in and out, lapping at her neck as she came around him, the knotted pleasure exploding making her eyes close as her mouth hang open with a silent scream. That was a night she had recalled so many times until they met again. Until they tore the clothes off of each other again.

A moan escaped her before she could stop it, snapping her of the memory before it would get too explicit. 

She felt her heart hammer under her skin, her flesh itching, hunger gnawing at her. A different kind of hunger.

Stopping in front of the sink in her kitchen she splashed cold water on her face, calming her burning cheeks as pictures of their time together flashed before her. She was all worked up and she knew she wouldn't do anything about it, even though she wanted. She had many things to do and she wouldn't just drop her plans while she remembered only to give herself pleasure. Feeling slightly embarrassed at thinking using her fingers while imagining him, she washed her face again, hoping to erase the memories from her mind. At least for a while.

If for nothing else, the memories were a good distraction from the ache until she got to her destination. She hated these train of thoughts that evolved into her thinking of him under non-platonic ways but after getting a taste of what it was like to be in bed with him, she just couldn't stop. 

But! She had to make breakfast, or more like, lunch since she kind of slept until past noon, make an appointment and get through the emails that was surely sent to her about side-projects involving her permit as wall as she had to work on her own main project. Maybe, she would also go shopping to shut out everything that happened in the past few days. From her being pregnant to her almost abduction. Though, giving it a second thought, because of her feet it might not be the bestest idea. She sighed, taking a step and opening her fridge. 

It was almost empty and she groaned knowing she would have to buy a few things. She might not be able to cook but at least she could make herself yummy sandwiches if the ingredients were available. Which they were not at the moment.

She would have to be satisfied with ordered food for now. Not that she minded it. She ate takeouts many times since her lack of cooking skills, so really. She wasn't unhappy or anything.

Digging her phone out of her purse, she dialed the first restaurant that came into her mind and ordered Italian food. Since her phone was already in her hand she also called her doctor, apologizing for calling during the weekend and set up an appointment for Tuesday. Three days. It was three days away so she could wait until then. She thought about telling Oliver then decided against it. She couldn't really see his reaction yet and didn't know if he even wanted to be there with her during her appointments. Actually the funniest would be if she wasn't even pregnant at all. Though the possibility of that equaled to zero it would be kind of an interesting talk with Oliver, explaining how she was never pregnant and the tests showed wrong results. She didn't think he would believe it though. He would probably say something cheesy about her pulling away from him again. Even thinking about it was funny. Pulling away would mean they were in a romantic relationship and they were nowhere near that definition.

They were just, ugh... fuck buddies. She didn't know how else to call them and it was still a better way to say than to always explain that they were just two people screwing each other time to time. In case that was their "relationship" in a nutshell and if Oliver meant that kind of relationship silently in his hurtful sentence then she had no idea why he was even bothered by her so called pulling away card it in the first place. 

Felicity did not know anymore what to think of him. In one minute it felt like he was trying to tell her something in the other he was cold, showing off no emotions, then he would be kind again then he would be a jerk again. That was also represented in the way they were together. Sometimes he was rough, sometimes he wasn't. To make it clear, he was never gentle like they were making love or something, but that once again required something they held no possession of. He might not be always that rough but they really just fucked then acted like nothing happened and parted ways. But still, his mood undulated like he was on a rollercoaster. He was a big mystery that unfortunately needed to be solved. 

Shaking away this train of thought as well, Felicity booted up her laptop while waiting for her food. She would answer any new emails so that at least would be taken care of and she could focus on working on her own project after eating was done.

* * *

The weekend passed very quickly to her surprise. She worked, ate, slept, had a not so nice nightmare and it was already Monday morning. To her fortune, Oliver didn't make any other out of the blue visits. He finally understood that she needed her own time to process everything. Though, calling him tempted her once but that was only because she wanted to know if the people who tried to abduct her were in fact after her or not. Although, she doubted he would have really told her. He wouldn't want her to worry.

Sighing, she locked her car and strode toward the elevator, mentally preparing herself for the whispers behind her or the disgusted stares on her back. Not that anything could ever prepare her for that. By now, probably the whole building thought she was Oliver's whore. Thank God, she wasn't showing yet. She didn't know how she would handle that stress being added to her plates. People would also say she got the position she had gotten because he knocked her up.

Counting to ten in her head in attempt at calming herself, she clutched her purse stronger, her fingers tightening their hold on the papers she was holding in her other hand. She would have to be strong and try to ignore everyone. Even if it was easier said than done. 

Pressing the button of her floor, Felicity stood into the back, hoping that people would just ignore her presence or not notice her. As always, none of these happened.

People got into the elevator on the first floor and stared at her, talking about her just like she imagined how it would be. While the heard words cut her deep, it also made her furious because how dare they talk about her like that when they had never exchanged a word? Some peeps laughed at her and pointed at her discourteously, spreading the untrue gossips like a wildfire. Once it started catching it became unstoppable.

Felicity tried to turn her focus on the music that played in the background but people were talking so loudly, the melody of the song got lost before it could reach her ears. Finally, she arrived on her floor and walked through the hallway, passing a few of her colleagues on her way, ignoring the pang in her heart at the thought of facing the entire department to get to her office. When she chose which office was to be hers (because she was given a choice. Either near the elevator or the one that's currently hers) she never thought she would be the main character of a scandal that ruined her reputation that much. It was only a matter of time until the media also got the wind of the news and they published something so twisted that even a science fiction of vampires and werewolves would be closer to the truth.

Though, the media would probably not care until everyone realized she was pregnant. Then it would explode it into her head.

Going through the small way between tables, Felicity tried her best to distract herself as people acted like the ones in the elevator. It was really hard. A lump formed in her throat, but she fought back the tears. She couldn't show how it affected her. If they saw how she reacted it would only fuel the fire and it would burn brighter until it consumed her. Maybe she would have to reconsider Oliver's propose on firing everyone... Okay, not really. Just because they were gossiping, err, about her that did not make them any less valuable workers. 

"I see you had a wild weekend." Said another asshole pointing on the bruise on her arm. While she tried her best to mask it with makeup, she couldn't succeed since it was a very dark shade. It looked fainter but it wasn't really covered and while it was October, the past few days had been too hot to put on a pullover. 

Reaching her office, she locked the door behind her to make sure no one, as in no one, would barge into her office to make fun of her. She had no idea how they got that kind of courage from though. She was still their boss and she could fire them, even if she wasn't the boss boss, the big big boss. That thought alone made many people question whether to get on her bad side or not. While she wasn't that kind of person who just fired someone, most of her colleagues didn't know that. 

Swiping away these thoughts, Felicity got to work in hope that everything would pass soon and go back to normal, even though she knew she was wrong.

But if nothing else, at least the day did go fast and before she knew it, it was Tuesday and she had to go through the same ritual.

* * *

It was 4 PM and she was sitting in the corridor waiting to be called in. She left work earlier to get to her appointment in time, stating she didn't feel really well. Although it wasn't like she had to explain herself to anyone and there was also the fact that it made everything seem worse because out of any day Oliver had to leave early today, only a few minutes later than she and knowing how fast gossips spread she didn't have to explain herself.

They met in the parking lot but as soon as their gazes met Oliver turned back to his car and got in, which was strange since she expected herself to do that and not him. He seemed on edge, and it was almost as if he hadn't really seen her. Like he looked at her but couldn't really see her. Watching him retreat Felicity spotted dark circles under his eyes that reflected no emotion just pure coldness. His muscles were taut, and even from the distance she could feel the tension radiating off him. So, his day wasn't working out as he planned, she assumed as she got into her own car.

But back to reality. She was holding up a magazine, pretending to read but actually to shield her face in case someone from the company was there. She didn't want to be seen there. It would be obvious why she was there and then she had no idea how she would keep working if she had to face the kind of rumors that would be whispered everywhere and if the media would catch that scent...

"Felicity Smoak?" She jumped at hearing her name, looking around to make sure no one else was listening but there was only one person other than her and she was occupied with her boyfriend. 

"I'm right here." She stood up, flashing a kind smile at the nurse who returned it and opened the door for her. Nervousness resurrected as she saw the doctor at her desk, typing something on her computer. Was it normal to feel that anxious? What did she have to be nervous about? 

The doctor looked up at her, waving at her to come in but her legs didn't want to comprehend. Everything would become too real. It would be confirmed that she indeed was pregnant. While until then she knew it, she didn't really knew it knew it. 

"Ms. Smoak, come in please." Doctor said as the nurse went back to her desk. Taking a deep breath, trying to hide the way her legs shook, she walked inside, taking a seat on the chair near the door.

"Good afternoon Ms. Smoak." 

"Good afternoon." She answered, masking her nervousness. Doctor sat closer to her, smiling reassuringly at her.

"I'm going to ask a few questions, make a blood test and then we can see how far you are if you are interested. Okay?"

Felicity nodded, waiting to get the first question. She really hadn't given a second thought about what would they do so she honestly had no idea what would they ask other than what she had seen in movies. 

"When was your last period?" 

"Umm, around the first week of September." The doctor hummed, typing in the information. She bit her lip, the nervousness not fading from her stomach. 

"Have you had any serious illness?" 

"Well, if pneumonia doesn't count from when I was little then no." The elder women smiled.

"Has anyone from your family suffered from serious illness?" 

"No. At least I don't know about it."

"Do you smoke?"

"No, god no. Even its smell makes me nauseous." She said, making a disgusted face. She had tried smoking once during college but it didn't really made her want to start smoking. If anything it just made her want to get far away from a cigarette.  

"If my information is up to date, this is your first pregnancy, right?"

"Yes, that's right." Felicity nodded. This was going smoother than she thought. Though, she really had no expectations. Other than making an appointment it totally escaped her mind.

"Okay. Are you allergic to certain medicines?" That's how it went for another five minutes. The doctor asked a question she answered it and they moved on. After a while she even forgot about her anxiety.

They measured her blood pressure and with everything going on lately she wasn't surprised when the doctor said it was high and she should try to keep the stress at bay. Like it was possible when you were carrying your boss/Bratva Captain's child and were almost kidnapped. But the doctor didn't need to know that. They also discussed whether she wanted to give birth to the baby naturally or not to which she answered she had yet to decide. As well as, what vitamins to take, what to do in order to avoid miscarriage and what medicines to take if she had fever or something ached. And they drew blood which was the most terrifying from all, because the moment she had seen the needle she wanted to run away. But the doctor told her to close her eyes and relax, that it would only a be a short prickling sensation she somehow managed to not get a panic attack. After that, the doctor asked if she had any questions regarding the pregnancy and while she came unprepared, she had.

"Is there anything I should say goodbye to in the next few months? Alcohol, obviously but for example coffee?" God, she hoped the answer was what she needed to hear because she wasn't sure if she could just say goodbye to coffee seeing that it contained caffeine. 

"It's a good question, but one I can not answer confidently. Some people say you shouldn't, some say you should. It's up to you, but it would be for the better if you stopped drinking coffee in the meantime. If you really want to though, drink half the portion than you do normally. My assistant will give you a small guidebook on what to eat and do or not during your remaining months."

"And sex?" She blurted out before she could stop it, her cheeks turning into a nice red color. "Not that it will happen. It's a possibility with a 90% chance of not happening but I thought I would ask, you know, in case." She rambled, chewing her lower lip. She didn't think she and Oliver would have sex but if there was the slightest chance then it might be good to make sure. Even if she didn't think Oliver would want her with a big pregnant belly, assuming that she wasn't left alone. 

"It's safe, as far as you don't have bleeding or any complications during your pregnancy. You might experience cramps during and after an intercouse but if it doesn't pass after a few minutes, call me."

"Okay, thank you." 

"Now, let's get to the part and see what most mothers want." The doctor smiled again but she could only make a grimace. She wasn't sure she was ready. It would all become real. It would truly be confirmed that a tiny human being was growing inside her. That she would be a... mother. A mother to her child. Sudden panicked questions flooded her mind and nervousness flared up again. How was she going to be a mother? Should she really be doing this? Was she even ready to become a mother? She drew in a collected breath, not wanting the doctor to see how nervous she really was.

"Lay down please and lift your shirt." She nodded, not trusting her voice and did as asked. She lied down and lifted her shirt to her breasts and waited. She had never been on an ultrasound. She had no friends who got pregnant and wanted her to be there during an ultrasound. 

"This is going to feel cold." The woman warned her as she spread some kind of gel on her lower belly, easing down her pants a bit. Felicity shut her eyes, clenching the edges of the bed. She could do this. She could totally do this. She felt something on her abdomen which she assumed was a part of the ultrasound machine. 

"There. Right there you can see your baby." The doctor sounded more excited than her. Felicity peeked her eyes open, seeing a greyish spot that appeared and disappeared in a black bean-like form as the doctor moved her hands. 

"You see that blinking? That's the baby's heartbeat." She indeed saw it. Her baby's beating tiny heart. It really looked like blinking. Felicity felt something pull at her but she couldn't understand what it was.

"Wow." That's all that escaped her and the doctor laughed, clicking and typing, trying to find a better view.

"It's exciting, isn't it?" She couldn't answer. Couldn't move an inch. She was paralyzed by the view of her baby's heartbeat.

"I'm going to do some measuring." The doctor stopped the live video, measuring the baby but she couldn't tear her gaze from the monitor. She was speechless. Which was telling something because she could always ramble on things even if they were inappropriate.

"By the size of your baby, I would say you are a bit more than six weeks far. Six weeks and four days to be more precise."

Six weeks. She had been pregnant for six weeks and she only realized last week. 

The video stopped again and she could hear a thumping noise. It wasn't loud, lost in other various sounds but it was there. "That is the sound of the baby's heartbeat." The woman stopped probably measuring something again before continuing. "Around 109 heart beats in a minute which is normal, you don't have to worry."

"I'm going to make a few pictures showing the whole uterus to show everything is developing normally and then if you don't have any questions we are done." 

All she could do was nod. Her gaze was glued on the screens until the doctor told her they were done and that she could get everything from her assistant including her papers which contained her due date as well. They set the date of the next appointment which was four weeks away then Felicity left, not remembering how she managed to say goodbye, paying for the DVD with the ultrasound, getting the papers then walked to her car to drive away. 

She was going to be a mother.

She really was.

* * *

 

The next four weeks passed in a blurry between work and daydreaming. She couldn't get the idea of the first ultrasound out of her head. She put the picture of her jelly bean sized baby next to her bed and thought about the baby every moment she wasn't occupied by something. At first things looked good but as the days went on she started to have doubts. 

Doubts on whether she made a good decision on keeping the baby. Whether she should give it up for adoption or keep it. Or if she could be a mom. She had no idea what to do. There was a schism inside her with two parts. One that wanted to keep the baby and one where she doubted her decisions. The later came out more when she was at work and she had to listen to the rumors. It died down a bit in the four weeks but she was still the top on the gossip list in the company. People monitored every move of hers, waiting for her to do something that was worth talking about. And it was tiring. Especially knowing that in a month or so, her pregnancy would be more visible and she might not be able to cover it. It would blow up and it might mean the end of her career as well. No one would look at her differently than a girl who slept her way to where she was and got knocked up in the process. And if the confirmation of the father would come out... Lord, she didn't want to think about that.

She was afraid and alone. 

She had no one to go to. She didn't have a shoulder she could lean on.

In the past if stress got the worst out of her she would have turned to Oliver to forget things even for just a few hours but she couldn't do that. Not anymore. The pregnancy changed everything. It might not seem like that but it did. If not, they would have found their way back to each other's bed already. Though that was a bit strong because Oliver had never been in her bed. 

Back to the present though. She had seen him over the four weeks but hadn't actually talked to him.

At first she wasn't trying to escape him but then as doubts filled her mind it turned into a chasing game. He would try to use every opportunity he had to get her to privacy but whenever that happened she made sure she had to be somewhere else. 

After two weeks he probably had enough because he had shown up at her doorstep and threatened to kick in the door if she didn't open it for him. Which she did. Kind of. She didn't let him in, telling him she was not ready and while the anger was evident he didn't say anything just turned on his heels and left. Later that week, he made a surprise visit but she pretended she fell asleep on the couch in her living room whilst watching TV. And it worked because he left without a note.

He made no calls after that though which worried her a bit. He wasn't someone to give up so he might be planning something to lure her out so they could finally have THE talk. That made her more stressed than she already was. She might not know him that well but she knew whatever that he was doing would probably work. So, she tried to get herself ready for the big talk. 

Then one week passed.

And another.

Yet, nothing happened. He didn't call her, didn't ask how she was which he used to do in the first two weeks, he turned away from her whenever they met in the lobby or in the elevator. There was this building tension between them that she couldn't fight off. She had no idea what his purpose was, but it clearly was working because his silence left her feathers ruffled. She didn't like to admit that but it was the truth. 

So, she decided it might be good if she invited him for the next appointment and ultrasound which was tomorrow. As she dialed the number, the voices in her head made her chicken out and cut the call before he could reply. He didn't call her back.

After four weeks, there she was again, waiting to be called in alone. 

She would go through another ultrasound that would leave her emotionally drained and she would have no one to talk to.

Her name was called and she left her seat behind, closing off the battling feelings causing a whirlwind inside her. Felicity walked in and frowned.

She could clearly see him. Standing near the windows with his back to her.

She didn't need to see his face to know it was him.

Oliver freaking got to her appointment without her knowing. 

Oliver, who seemed more than angry.

She was in trouble. 


	6. We Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii guys! :)  
> Thank you all for the awesome response. I have no words like seriously, this is amazing! I love how you speculate and put things together, it's awesome <3 I'm sorry for not updating on Friday. Things turned into a big mess and I had no energy to write a 5K chapter too that day. As for the next update you can probably expect it next Saturday or Sunday because I have work next week and it's kind of draining. 
> 
> As for the chapter. No words. I don't have enough time to reread and correct possible mistakes but I'll do it first thing in the morning, so, sorry for that :( ;)
> 
> No more words needed to say, enjoy! :)
> 
> P.S.: For those who had been wondering. While it's been a week and you probably know it, but Matty posted a quick tweet on Twitter to let us know she is doing okay. ;)

She was immobile. 

The moment he had come into view he paralyzed her. 

She stared at his back, his muscles stiffening even more as if he had sensed her gaze on him. The tension climbed higher in the atmosphere and she gulped, not knowing how to move from her spot without startling him into action, without him turning to face her. His expression would probably be the one she had seen a lot in the past days. His lips would be pursued, his eyes, his oh so piercing blue eyes, narrowed slightly as it reflected pure fury. Fury that was aimed at her.

Felicity slipped her lower lip between her teeth, biting down as hard as she could without drawing blood, while her gaze stayed glued on him. His plan worked. He caught his prey. Her.

Anxiety attacked her, the weight of tension sitting on her shoulders, trying to push her to the ground. She had to find out how he knew she would be here at this hour. 

"Ah, Ms. Smoak. It's good to see you again." The doctor said, passing by her but she couldn't tear her gaze from him. He seemed so calm. He was angry, yes but his posture screamed calmness even with his tensed body. She was amazed by how good he was at controlling his body. 

"Can you give us the room please for a second?" Finding enough strength, she looked away from Oliver, seeing her doctor hesitate at her request.

"Of course." She replied, leaving the room and the two of them. Alone. After a month they were alone. She didn't know whether that should make her afraid or relieved their cat-mouse chasing game was finally over, despite the circumstances. The tension thickened around them again as she heard the click of the door closing behind her. 

That was it.

She took a deep breath and stepped closer to him, waiting for him to turn around. He didn't though. He was still facing the window, not acknowledging her properly. Her blood boiled at that, her own anger breaking to the surface as well. She might not have told him about the appointment but he had no right to just appear uninvited.

"What are you doing here?"

As soon as the words left her mouth he swirled around, his eyes boring into hers, letting her see the depths of his anger. She had sensed it over each passing day but this level of rage made her take a step back, feeling the cold surface of the wall behind her.

"I am right where I'm supposed to be, Felicity." Gosh, he sounded harsh. His tone sent chills down her spine and she blinked up at him, hoping to mask the sudden pinch of fear in time. She had seen many versions of Oliver. She had seen the collective CEO, the grumpy business man, the irked Bratva Captain, the broken man, the furious part of him a mere month ago yet she had never witnessed this side of Oliver. This... This was by far the worse she had ever had to see and it was directed right at her. She had caused that to happen. 

When she was nearly kidnapped back at that chilly night he was angry for sure but it was a different kind of anger. And when they had been attacked, he seemed more devastated than mad. But at this moment...

Her lips parted, goosebumps arising under his glare and despite the situation she felt her skin heat at his fixed look, her chest turning into a light shade of red. Whilst she had never caught glimpse of him acting like this, there were times when he seemed fretful after she had arrived following his phone call. They had usually jumped at each other and the look behind his eyes reminded her of those times regardless the fact that he was different now. His look might remind her of that but he hadn't been this irritated, angry and calm. 

"No. You are not-"

"I'm not what? And don't say I shouldn't be here because that's not true. You are pregnant with my child Felicity. I have every right to be here." Was it possible for his voice to drop lower? Because it seemed so. She opened her mouth to reply but words stuck in her throat. Well, frack. 

"You asked for time? That's fine but it's been a month. You hadn't called once and you had failed to mention your first appointment and now, you wanted to go to your second one behind my back." Okay, he might have had a point there, but let's not forget how he behaved in the past two weeks as well. He had ignored her, so this wasn't just her fault.

"What was I supposed to do, Oliver? I didn't even know if you would want to be here. Heck, I don't even know if you want to be a part of the life of my child or not." She saw from the corner of her eyes as he clenched his fists and she glared at him, breathing in soothing breaths. 1-1, huh? 

"Felicity, I already told you, I do-"

"Did you even stop to think about what people will think if they see you here. With me, huh? Do you have any idea what that means?" She cut him off, knowing but not wanting to hear him finish his sentence.

"I did. But after one month Felicity, I won't just sit back on my heel and wait for you to decide whether I should be here or not. I gave you my patience but it had run out." His eyes narrowed a bit, the tension in the air around them reaching new heights as they just glared at the other, fighting without the need to say the words aloud. That should have scared her. That fact that they knew each other that much to communicate through looks without trying to get to know the other person on purpose should have scared the crap out of her. Throughout the months they had created a connection between them that was strong enough to be unaccompanied by words. Yet, it didn't scare her an ounce. 

Neither of them blinked, just stared, letting the other know what they were feeling exactly. It was the first time in months they were this honest with their emotions. The both of them. She let him see the anger, the fear, the gut-wrenching fear of what the future held, the devastation, and loneliness. In exchange he let her in on his own feelings, allowing her to see the hurt, the rage, the lonesomeness, the desire along with emotions she wasn't ready to read yet and emotions she couldn't read yet. 

Something settled inside her at his stare, holding her captive, not giving her the space to even inhale and exhale. There was just something in his gaze that she knew exactly what to call, but as she watched him, she didn't want to believe it. She had seen that look once already. That night. A few days before they were attacked and they had their fight. She had seen the exact same emotion in his eyes like now. She had to forget that night. Whatever had happened then it was just an act. It had taken long for her to realize that, but now she knew even though she wasn't prepared. 

A knock on the door, broke them out of the haze they were in and she looked away, closing herself with her emotions again, knowing he was doing the same. Whatever moment they had just had, it was over.

"We are not done." Oliver said as the door opened and revealed the doctor. 

"I'm sorry, but that was all the time I could give. Many expectant mothers are waiting outside and I don't want to make them wait too long." The doctor said apologetically, flashing her a small reassuring smile with a sympathized look.

She walked to the window and pulled down the shutters, basking the room in a low light as she sat down in front of the computer to get everything ready. "Like the last time, please lie down Ms. Smoak."

Felicity stepped to the bed and lied down, pulling her shirt up and avoiding eye-contact with Oliver. While she wasn't really showing yet, she was still in her tenth week, nearly passing the first trimester, and her abdomen already had a nice small curve. She could still hide her pregnancy but, if her fogged calculation was right, in five months she would not be able to do anything. People wouldn't think she had just gained weight but knew exactly she was with a child. That, of course, if no one caught a glimpse of her and Oliver leaving. She swallowed.

She had to forget that for a while. She had other problems. One was sitting next to her, for example. 

The doctor, whose name was Dr. Camille, because she had forgotten to mention that in her previous inner ramblings, applied the lube on her belly and started to the ultrasound, searching for her baby. "It's good to see that father has joined us today." The doctor looked at both of them with a smile, lingering on Oliver for more seconds, probably trying to figure out if he was who she thought he was. Oh lord, that was going to be good. There was no single person who could not recognize Oliver. Even if they got lucky and no one spotted them together, to which the possibility of that happening equaled to zero, she would probably give away this spicy story for a few dollars. Although, she didn't seem like the type to do that.

She tore her gaze from the doctor and looked at the screen, gasping when she spotted her baby. That little peanut changed so much in four weeks. It didn't look like a jelly-bean anymore and it was so much more easier to see it. For the first time since she found out she was pregnant, she felt love blossom in her heart. Pure, unadulterated love. She watched the baby with tears in her eyes but not because of stress, because of gossips or fear but rather out of happiness. There was a tiny human being growing inside her, that developed so much under one month it brought joy to her and after a very long time, she smiled, her gaze glued on the screen. 

"There's the baby's spine." The doctor explained, showing what she was talking about. "And there is the heart, strong and fast." A second later she heard it again. The steady pounding heart of the baby. She couldn't concentrate on anything else but that sound. She couldn't concentrate on Oliver's reaction in his seat next to her or as his fingers sought out hers and wrapped around her hand in a firm hold. All she could see and hear was the baby's heartbeat.

"Alright. 176 beats per minute, which is nice and strong." Dr. Camille showed the womb again, measuring the baby from head to toes. She couldn't dare looking at him, afraid of seeing his expression. Would he smile, tense again or sit there frozen just like when she broke, or rather, let the news of the pregnancy slip? But darn, she did want to see. A little quick glance wouldn't hurt anyone.

Curiosity getting the best out of her, she peeked a glance at him, seeing his lips curled up into a small barely-noticeable smile, his eyes hooded with a vortex of emotions as he sat there unmoving, just staring up at the screen. It almost seemed like he wasn't Oliver. Like they weren't on such a bad terms at the moment, like they were just a happy couple on their second ultrasound watching in awe their baby. 

His usually cold aura held nothing but calmness and something she could almost relate to warmness. He wasn't that tense and anyone who hadn't known him would probably think his posture was peaceful. She felt herself lighting up at seeing him like this, loving, err, liking the way he was seated calmly, no sign of him being involved in a criminal organization or leading a company worth billions. He just looked like a father gazing at his baby.

She flinched at herself, closing her eyes. She had to move on. She couldn't just stare at him all this time. 

Felicity felt him clench her fingers for a second making her eyes flutter open to see his own ones gazing down at her. The side of his mouth curled up into a smile and god, who was this man and what happened to her Oliver? He never smiled. Just on leap years once or twice. She returned the smile automatically, ripping her gaze away before she would get lost in the depth of blue irises and dilated pupils. She restored her focus on the baby on the screen, watching it move around, and though she couldn't feel it, she saw the baby kick making her chuckle before she could stop it.

"Did you see it?" The doctor asked her with a smirk. "You won't feel the kicks for another month or so, but watching that is still amazing, right?"

All she could do was nod. After a few minutes they finished the ultrasound, her fingers seeking her belly the moment she got up, caressing her middle with light movements as she got the papers and pictures with Oliver. He stole one picture out of her hand and put in the back pocket of his jeans while she huffed as they walked away. She knew the risks but all she could think of was the baby and whilst she didn't like admitting it... Oliver's reaction. It was more puzzling than she thought. Although she had no idea previously what to expect. Their former encounters hadn't exactly revealed what he thought about having a baby and she was also too scared to read into how he might react.

They walked down the corridor, a content silence settling on them, both lost in thoughts of the ultrasound.

While Felicity did her research she was still amazed at how much the baby changed in the past one month. From a little jelly-bean it grew into a bigger walnut.

They got to the parking lot without running into anyone and all she could do was hope she wouldn't face leaked pictures soon in every local magazine featuring her on the front page as the gold-digger who slept her way to where she was and now trapped the boss with a baby. She had to talk with Oliver about that. He couldn't just pop up everywhere whenever he pleased only because his patience had run thin. If they wanted the baby to be healthy, and she did want that and assumed Oliver too, they had to address the topic of the vultures aka the press and media. They would give her a big stress and stress was not good for either her or the baby. But the number one priority was the baby. 

She wished she knew the sex of the baby so she could stop referring to it as "baby" or "it." Not that she minded calling the peanut "baby."

Felicity was about to head toward her own car when Oliver spoke up for the first time since leaving the room behind. "Get in my car."

She frowned, feeling the previously sleeping emotion, anger wake up at his command. "No." 

That was all she said then started striding towards her own car. Before she could get close, rough fingers wrapped around her arm, making her turn around.

"Get. Into. That. Car." He muttered, leaning dangerously close to her, feeling his breath on her face and she ripped her arm out of his hold as a response, glaring at him.

"I said no."

"You are done running Felicity." Oh, so that was about running away from the talk. THE talk. 

"And what I'm supposed to do? Just leave my car here? Absolutely not."

"One of my men will drive it your house."

"No offense Oliver, but I don't like the idea of leaving my car here. Oh, and I don't think your hunk of men will even fit into my car. So, that's a double nope." She said, walking toward her mini, not caring if Oliver was on her trial or had that grumpy expression on his handsome face.  

"Then meet me at my place." She sighed but before she could protest he cut her off. "Be there or I will come and get you myself. I told you. No more running." With that he left to stalk where his own car was parking and Felicity huffed, getting into her own to drive away.

They needed to have that conversation sooner or later anyway and the sooner the better. She would hopefully get rid off at least one tension inside her.

* * *

 

The traffic was light but Oliver still got there faster. She had no idea how because she hadn't see him once just when they left the parking lot and even then he was behind her in one moment then disappeared in the next. 

The drive didn't do any good for her. If anything, the content feeling she was having since setting her eyes on her baby flew away and got replaced by nervousness. She didn't know what good possible outcome could come out from their conversation. She knew him well enough to know he will come up with something she would not be pleased of. Or more like, something she hated. 

She placed her bets on him saying to move out of her house.

Turning the ignition off, she got out and locked her car, looking up at the high building. She had been there numerous times. She had no idea how big that number was because she kind of lost the count after ten. She bit her lip, thinking about how many times they had had sex. No surprise he got her knocked up. They were extra careful, using condoms and she even took contraceptive pills but as it seemed like it didn't matter. The possibility of ending up pregnant equaled to 00000.1 but knowing her luck and Murphy's law, if something could go wrong it would surely happen, and it did. Not that, she minded anymore. She had no idea how but during this ultrasound she fell in love with her baby so really, it wasn't like she regretted being pregnant she just wished it happened under different circumstances. Like her and Oliver being in love and deciding to have that baby. 

She huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. Yeah, her and Oliver in love... Talk about the unthinkable. 

Felicity walked into the building and to where the elevator was and pressed the button for the top level. Oh-kay, so they would have an awkward conversation and everything would be fine, right? Well, as fine as it could. They had always been complicated.

Rubbing her fingers nervously she counted to ten in her head with closed eyes, calming her rapid heart. Having the conversation with him while freaking out would do nothing good. She could absolutely do this. She had faced worse in her life than a simple talk. She was strong enough to pull off this talk without having a breakdown or something like that.

The doors of the elevator slipped open, revealing the small hallway leading to his flat. The last time she was there, they made out against the wall like horny teenagers. Oh god, she really, really needed to stop recalling the times they had fucked whenever she was somewhere where they got each other naked or half-naked. 

She strolled to his door and knocked, swallowing hard. She had no reason to be nervous about. This was Oliver. They would talk and then... She didn't know. She would probably go home. 

She heard the locker and a second later the door was wide open, with Oliver standing in the doorway. "Hi." She said, hoping she sounded at least decent.

Oliver stepped away, leaving her space to go inside, and she did, walking right where the kitchen was while Oliver closed the door and caught up behind her. She hopped down in the seating in front of the kitchen island, putting her purse beside her and watched as Oliver stopped opposite her, leaning on the other side of the counter. None of them said anything, leaving air for the awkwardness to blow up like a balloon. 

She made a face as Oliver cleared his throat, offering something to drink. She nodded and Oliver poured orange juice for her. How caring. He was lucky he knew she liked orange. 

Sipping from the drink, Oliver sat down in front of her and locked his hands on the table. "I'm here, you are here, so let's get over this." Felicity suggested, setting the glass down.

"I want you to be honest with me. Why didn't you tell me about the ultrasounds?"

"Because I was scared." She answered without hesitation, seeing the way his shoulders slumped a bit.

"Of me?" 

"Yes. No. I don't know." Felicity stopped, struggling with words. Her rambling qualifications of course failed her in the best moment. "I wasn't afraid of you. Just... of your reaction. Let's face it Oliver, we are not best friends with benefits, we are not even friends and we are definitely not in a relationship. And then there's the fact that you made sure I knew what was I to you. Or what was not. Depending on how we view that." She said, saying the last sentence in a lower tone and avoiding his glance. 

"And when I told you accidently." Oliver didn't say anything and she continued, keeping her head down. "You showed no signs of wanting to be there. Sure, you showed up at my apartment and we had that brief conversation but how could I have known?"

"Felicity. Look at me." She held her head up, closing her eyes. She didn't want to gaze into his eyes. "Open your eyes."

"No."

"Felicity, open your eyes. You have nothing to be afraid of, I just want to see you when I say this." Exhaling deeply, she did as he asked, her gaze meeting his.

Carrying on, he said in a softer voice. "I do want to be there during your next ultrasounds. And I will be, whether you tell me or not. It's my child too."

"Okay." She managed to say somehow. She felt guilty for not telling him, but maybe it was for the better that he wasn't there during the first one. She hadn't been ready and would have acted differently than today. 

"I want you to live here." He blurted out and her eyes widened. Looked like she won her own bet. She owed herself ice cream. If only she would get that lucky during playing lottery...

"No way, Oliver. I won't turn my whole life upside and down."

"That wasn't a request, Felicity. You will live here, end of discussion." Oh, if eyes could kill... He would be dead right now. Buried under the ground ten times. At minimum.

"I will not move here and _that's_ the end of the discussion."

"Yes, you will. If not willingly, then I will move your things here and drag you here every time until you cave in and stay." How dare he? Like, how fucking dare he? Did he seriously think she would be okay with that? Living under the same roof as he? Well, in that case he really thought it wrong. She was a grown up person, she could make her own decisions thank you very much.

"I'm not going to be living with you and you can't decide otherwise. It's my life and my decision."

"But you are carrying my child." He spoke like the baby was a possession he owned. Felicity rolled her eyes, got her purse and got up. She didn't have the energy to deal with his bullshit anymore. Just because he was the father of her unborn child that meant nothing. 

"Where do you think you are going?" Oliver growled and boy, he did sound very mad.

"Home. If you think I will just let you order me around then you are dead wrong." 

Suddenly, her back collided with the wall, as her front was pressed up against his boarded chest, her arms being held by his fingers roughly but not with enough force to make it painful. His breathing came out in heavy pants matching her own as her heart raced under her skin. His blue eyes bore into hears, holding her prisoner. She didn't try to struggle, knowing he was way stronger.

"You are staying." He didn't seem to give up and he would have to because there was no way she would even think about that option while he was ordering her that like she was a pet.

"No." 

"Damn Felicity." One of his hands let go and he punched the wall near her, making her jump in his hold as a reaction. He took a deep breath to control himself before looking at her, masking badly his irritation. 

"At least please consider it. The press will find out soon and it's not something I can protect you from entirely without making everything worse. They will know where you live but if you move here-"

"No."

"Just hear me out. If you move here you can live in peace. No one knows about this place, not even my mother or my trustest men." Hmm... He was right about the press. Once they caught scent they wouldn't leave her alone 24/7 and invading privacy was something they never cared about. But living with him had its own dangers. She could get hurt for example. Not physically but emotionally. Who knew how many other women was he banging here?

Like sensing her thoughts with his superb ability of mind reading, he said. "I said no one, except for you. I have never brought anyone here just you." She would totally aww if she were in a romantic movie or story but reality was harsher than that so all she did was raise her eyebrows questioningly. 

"No one." He said and she could hear the sincerity in his voice and knew he wasn't lying. Okay, so he only brought the others to the Mansion, wow, that made everything so much better. But this wasn't the time to think about hurt feelings. 

"Fine." She said and could basically imagine him doing a fist bump in his head. She didn't say yes because she wanted to be near him, only because of the press. He stepped back, letting her go. She moved away instantly, rubbing the skin where his fingers held her. His squeeze started to ache and thus she was very glad he finally let her go.

"Good. I will help you move your things here." She narrowed her eyes, at his words.

"You should stay here. It's getting dark outside." That wasn't possible. She thought, looking out of the window. The sun was indeed going down. How time passed that quickly she had no idea. One moment she was at her appointment with the sun high up in the air and the next thing she was aware of was the sun going down which meant it was after 7 PM. 

Nodding, Oliver started walking, motioning her to follow him. They walked up the stairs, leading to several closed doors which she assumed were either guest rooms or studies.

Unlocking the second room, Oliver walked away leaving her alone. So, that was her new room apparently. She stepped inside, her eyes taking in the simple furnitured room, with a closet, a bed another door to which she assumed led to the bathroom. Dropping her purse on the bed she walked to the big floor-to-ceiling window, staring out at the city. It looked beautiful in sunset.

She heard footsteps and swirled around, seeing Oliver enter the room with a few things in his hands. "There's a towel, and everything you need for showering as well as one of my shirts. That's all I can give for the night to wear." Felicity gulped, taking everything from his hands and thanked him. 

He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by his phone ringing. 

"Yes?" He answered , still keeping his gaze on her. She couldn't understand what was being said on the other line but he tensed up suddenly and switched back to his brooding Captain mode.

"What?!" Oh-uh. Whatever happened couldn't be good.

"I'll be there as soon as possible." He bit out and disconnected the call. "I have to go. There's food in the fridge you can reheat if you are hungry." He told her and without a second glance, left her alone to think how was this her life.

The past hours changed many things and she couldn't wrap her mind around that.

Oh, but if only she knew what the future held for her... 


	7. What Comes Next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> Back with another chapter! :) A bit earlier than usual tho. Anyway, thank you all for the feedback. It's blowing my mind away and it's not something I imagined upon starting this story. Thank you to all of you who read it, leave kudos or comments. It means a lot, and it's always good to know what you are thinking. :)
> 
> About the chapter... it's over 5K. Barely, but still over than 5K. Oh, and I have good news! I might update twice or even thrice next week because my parents are away for a week which means no sudden interruptions. Not gonna promise anything though because I get home after five from work, but I'll do everything to post two chapters next week. :)
> 
> But, enough of the unnecessary rambling, here's the new chapter. Stuff will happen *wink, wink* (don't get ideas lol).  
> Enjoy! <3

Stepping out of the bathroom, the steam followed her like a shadow as she walked to where her bed was to dry herself. It had been an exhausting day. Both physically and emotionally. The emotional exhaustion was worse though even if her feet ached from wearing heels. It was the kind of exhaustion that had left her a mess. Everything that had happened in the previous weeks drained her energy and she couldn't wait to fall into bed to sleep and forget the main problem of her future.

Which was working things out with Oliver. 

Or as much as it was possible for the baby's sake. They couldn't let their own problems be in the way of the baby's happiness. They would have to find a way to make everything as comfy as feasible. 

But truth be told, she had no idea where to start. How long would she even live there? She had no plans on staying with him for longer than necessary but knowing the caveman he was, he would try to make her stay. 

Sighing, she dropped the damp towel on her bed and grasped her used panties. She didn't like wearing something twice but there was no way she would sleep only in a shirt in his apartment. Not that he hadn't seen her naked before, but she would rather avoid embarrassing situations that would surely follow her if he saw her like that. She would probably make up an epic ramble with not so appropriate comments and sexual innuendos which would result in an ever more awkward and tense atmosphere around them. 

Shuddering at the thought, she took on the garment and picked up his shirt, holding it hesitantly. Oh god, how was she going to sleep in _his_ shirt. _His_ shirt. Maybe sleeping in nothing but panties would be a more ideal idea. Yup, that would absolutely not happen. Felicity bit down her lower lip and closed her eyes, pulling on his shirt. It was way bigger than her and thus it swallowed her body, hanging on her frame till her thighs whilst an eased calmness settled over her. 

The smell of him hit her nostrils, the woodsy scent washing over her like deep collected fresh air in the midst of a deserted place, awakening the sleeping beast of her buried emotions. Emotions she tried her best to fight off after the realization of what she was to him exploded in her face. She had made sure to lock those lingering feelings away, not letting a brief wind to even pick up the vortex again and let her be lost in her solitude and unrequited feels. 

She had always liked the smell of him because as much as she hated admitting that, it always flooded her with a sense of belonging and safeness. Something she hadn't felt ever since her mother and Cooper.

Exhaling the breath she was holding, her lips shook while her eyes fluttered open, letting go off the clothing. She hadn't noticed how tightly she was squeezing the material between her fingers nor had she known when she had gripped it unconsciously. 

His scent wrapped around her, cocooning her in a protective shield as she moved the covers, drawing in soothing breaths in quick manners. She had fought so long to get those feelings she was having under a forgotten rock that the sudden wave swiping through her had her movements uncoordinated and rushed. Knowing it was better to sleep through the haze hovering over her, she quickly got under the blanket and her eyelids slipped close, her battling free emotions not calming an ounce as darkness and quietness surrounded her.

Those were the feels she wasn't sure she would ever be able to be ready for. The emotions she had made up over the months only to have them crushed. They would only be shattered again if she let those sensations overwhelm her and that was something that couldn't happen. Not again. She had learned her lesson when that door opened and she would not fall for the same mistake once more. With that thought, she managed to calm herself, locking away the hazardous sentiments and gulping down the key to its cage in her mind. 

It was time to change the subject. 

Placing her hand on her tummy, her thumb wrote small half circles on her clothed middle, taking strength from the knowledge that she wasn't alone anymore. She had her little peanut whom she could hold in her arms soon. Maybe not soon enough but in a few months time.

It was fascinating and both terrifying. The thought of a small human being growing inside her. The fact that she and Oliver had created that little magic, that gift and source of happiness. That only a few months left and the baby would be there with her.

She had no idea how she would be a mother, or if she could even be a good mother but she would do everything in her power to ensure the baby had everything, was cherished and loved. And she would do her best to be the mom her child deserved.

Finding her happy bubble again because of the baby, she closed out the world and slowly drifted off to sleep, unaware of the blue eyes on her curled form.

* * *

 

The next morning she woke to a grunt, followed by another and another, the spaces between the sounds almost equaled and she yawned, rubbing her eyes and reaching out to get her glasses with her free fingers.

Everything was way better when the world wasn't blurred and she could see clearly. Plus there was also the fact that whenever she wore her glasses she heard things better. She had no idea how the two were connected but it was true because whenever she took off her glasses to clean them she couldn't hear as many things as before. Or maybe that was the lack of caffeine talking about these lame stuff.

Stretching her arms out, her feet touched the cool ground as she looked around and took in her surroundings. She remembered how her new room looked like but with the morning sun, the place looked brighter and more homey than it had before. It almost had a warm, welcoming aura. 

One hand finding its way to her belly as she wiggled her toes on the floor, a small smile appearing on her lips. "Good morning little one." She said, drawing out small circles. She knew her baby couldn't hear her yet but talking to it was reassuring and also washed something over her. Something that was close to a mix of calmness and love.

Felicity heard the grunt once again and she stood up, following the sound. What was Oliver doing? 

Walking in light steps through the corridor where her own room was as well, one hand still resting on her stomach, she came to a halt in front of a closed door. Hesitating whether to open the door or not, she heard the noise filtering through the thin layer of the wooden door once more and before she could change her mind and walk away, her fingers found the handle. Taking in a deep breath to whatever sight would greet her, she unlocked the door as quietly as she could and peeked inside, feeling her breath hitch.

The room was big with different workout machines and punching bags but what had gotten her attention was the ladder like thing Oliver was using. There was a bar in his hands that he used to move upwards, his naked, his deliciously naked back showing off the muscles glistening from sweat and she wetted her lips as a reaction, following his movements with her eyes. He moved up then when he got to the top he jumped down and repeated the process.

All she could do was watch, mesmerized at his strength, the way he got higher and higher, his muscles contracting and relaxing with each movement. She felt a heat pull at her in her lower parts, feeling her skin warming up at watching him, her breaths coming out in quick quiet pants. She saw as a bead of sweet trickled down his back, making her wish she was there to lick it off, to feel him under her hands. Oh, how much she wanted to run her hands downward his back and up again, to feel his skin on hers.

She had seen his back numerous times yet his body always seemed to have the same effect on her. She squeezed her thighs together, hoping to get rid of at least half of the tension and want inside her. The problem was that his bare skin also brought back memories and that was something she couldn't scrub off while he was still naked in front of her, displaying off his strength like he knew she was there. Which he probably did. 

The grunting sound tore from his throat again, catching her of guard and frack, it shouldn't be such a turn on but it was. 

A blush spread over her face and expended to her chest, her veins heating up as desire attacked her and she almost gave in, almost walked to him, almost called out his name to get his attention. _Almost._

But she knew she couldn't. 

She should turn away. She should leave him alone and forget the hunger, but she couldn't get herself to do it.

She was glued on the same spot, her nails digging into the wooden surface of the door she was still holding.

He dropped to the ground and took his towel to dry his face before picking up a bottle to drink. She watched as he gulped down the water, seeing as a drop slipped down his jaw, showing her the visible veins in his neck as his flexed arm held the water. Her lips parted at the sight, her eyes roaming over his biceps and sweet Jesus, him showing off his back, torso and even his arms should be banished or considered as porn. 

It certainly did its effect on her.

Oliver put away the bottle just as their gazes met, sending heatwaves through her body as a response at his intense stare. She saw the way he narrowed his eyes, his pupils dilating and only then had she realized she was standing in his shirt and displaying her legs to him. She was aware of what he was probably thinking. 

Except it was not what it looked like, even if her body screamed at her to jump at him. 

He took a collected step toward her, giving her the time to move away if she wanted but like many, many times before his gaze held her in place, only letting her breathe in and out. The kind of effects he had on her was troublesome, that was a given fact, but then he licked his lips and all rational thoughts fled from her mind, leaving her alone with the growing desire to tear down the remaining cloths from his body and let him take her right there, against the wall or the door or even the floor if that was how it turned out. She didn't care. She just wanted him. Not in front of her but inside her. 

As if he thought the same, or at least got to the same conclusion, he walked to where she was like the predator who had just gotten a scent of its prey. Heart hammering as he stopped a feet from her, their eyes not moving away from each other, she felt the heat radiating off his body, his sweaty chest covered in multiple scars expanding as he breathed. She saw the way his eyes darkened as their gazes remained connected and like two magnets being drawn together, they attacked the other at same time, his lips finding her collarbone through his shirt while steadying her by his fingers on her hips as her hands found the bare skin on his back.

She dragged her nails over the slippery flesh just as he bit down on her neck, earning a gasp of breathless moan as he moved upwards her neck, leaving kisses all over the surface he could get and she tilted her head up, giving him more access while he continued leaving a path of fire behind. The feel of his soft lips on her skin made her insides clench on nothing, making her impatient all of a sudden. Or not that suddenly, given that almost two months had past since they sex the last time. Precisely six weeks, five days and twelve hours. Not that she had counted it.

One of her hands moved from his back on its own accord as she cupped him through his pants and he thrust into her hand, earning a growl, like a real, _real_ growl out of him, feeling his hardened cock through the unwanted layers of clothing.

Gosh, she wanted him inside her.

Instantly.

Moving her fingers up to where the waistband of his pants were, she hooked her fingers around the clothing and was ready to pull it down when she heard her own stomach growl. Her movements stopped and she froze. She hadn't eaten yet and her body seemed to remind her of that in the best moment. His lips left her neck to look at her and she whimpered at the loss, cursing herself mentally for not eating before seeing him. Not that she knew they would find themselves in that situation. 

Good, because she was horny now and would not get satisfied. 

Sighing, she remembered she wasn't eating for one anymore but two and her arms dropped beside her in disappointment at the interrupted moment. She turned to leave not wanting to see Oliver's face.

Realization at what nearly happened churned through her body, filling her veins with disappointment, still lingering desire with a pinch of regret. She nearly slept with him again! He had never apologized, they never got to talk about that night but she was ready to have sex with him again. No. This wasn't her but her hormones. Every other time she would have been able to resist to give in to the temptation that was Oliver and his damned perfect body. She knew. She thought... Hoped at least.

Fleeing from the room with rapid moves, she felt his eyes on her back the whole time, burning a hole through her body, the hunger for him waking up again and heating up her skin. Locking the door behind her, she slipped down to her knees and leaned her head back against the door.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Felicity muttered under her breath. "Oh, no cursing in front of the baby. Not that it can hear me. Okay, maybe I should just quit talking to myself altogether." She added, closing her eyes and counting to ten.

That was close. Too close. 

She needed to have her feels under control again. She couldn't let her desire for him fog her mind like that. But damn if she wasn't longing to feel him.

Just by seeing his naked body working out, his muscles moving in an irresistible way, he basically told her mind to jump at him which she nearly did! Fracking, frack, frack. 

Blowing out a calming air, Felicity slowly got to her feet and made her way to where her clothes from the previous night were resting, trying to forget the hot sensation on her neck where Oliver's lips had been moments ago. He awoke the need inside her and now she couldn't get rid of it.

Damn it! But if there was anyone to be blamed for this then it was her. She should have left the moment she saw he was working out. That way she could have avoided the awkwardness and the tension that would follow them everywhere from now on. And they were kind of living together. No, scrap that. They _were_ living together, under the same roof. Uh-oh. This was going to be worse than she fought originally.

She had to get out. Now.

Quickly getting dressed, she placed Oliver's shirt on her bed after a moment of hesitation, putting the strap of the purse on her shoulders to leave.

Fresh air would help her clear her mind.

She would go home, and occupy herself with something, probably with work then she didn't know. They hadn't really talked about when she would move to his place and had no idea what to bring. After all, she wouldn't stay for that long, right? Though following this little incident she sure as hell wouldn't stay for that long. Maybe a few weeks or months, depending on how fast the media found out and how long it would take everything to calm down. She would, in the meantime, look for a new apartment that she could afford, maybe start buying a few clothes for the baby and also plan the baby's own room. But that was way into the future. She had to focus on one thing at a time.

Sneaking out without bumping into Oliver again, for example.

Unlocking the door, she peeked her head out, trying to see any sign of Oliver but to her luck he was nowhere to be seen. Tiptoeing down the hallway and down the stairs with her heels in hands, she locked back every second, waiting to hear Oliver's angry voice as he asked where she was going. Not like he had any right to know that. She wasn't his dog nor someone who had to inform him of her every single move. For all he knew, she could get ready to go on a date with someone. Though that wasn't like her and who would even go on a date with a pregnant woman?

Reaching the main door and the key to her escape, she took on her heels and left the loft, thanking God for the chance of getting out without having to have an awkward in run with him.

Felicity quickly got to where she left her car parked, hugging herself as the chilly morning wind breezed her arms, making goosebumps broke out on her skin. She should have known better than to go around in a dress. Winter was coming soon and she had to say goodbye to her skirts for a while and greet heavy but comfy coats. She would also have to go for a shopping trip soon. With her body changing day by day a little, shortly, she would run out of clothes she could wear.

Getting to her car without any trouble, Felicity started the engine to head to her first destination which was Big Belly Burger because she and cooking were not best friends. Actually if she was near a kitchen, catastrophe would erupt. That was what she had learned very early in her life. Quickly getting lost in the labyrinth of thoughts she drove away, trying her hardest to shake off what had happened mere minutes ago.

* * *

 

It was past six when she had finally gotten home. Her plan had been perfect and going smoothly until she drove in to the traffic after eating breakfast. Because when would her car break down if not on her way to home. That had never happened before and thus she had no idea what to do or rather how to change the punctured wheel. She had considered calling Oliver, but since it was Saturday she knew he would be busy with whatever Bratva business he had to take care of. So, after vetoing that decision, she tried to call a service station but they were already full and couldn't take any more damaged cars.

So for at least an hour she tried to change the wheel by herself with no luck until a stranger took pity on her and helped her out. She had no idea who that guy was but she would forever be grateful for landing a helping hand. 

By the time they were done though it was past noon and she wanted to buy herself food she could eat later as lunch. So, she heated back to Big Belly, bought food for later when she remembered she ran out of toilet papers at home. That wasn't exactly the problem. No. The problem started when the robbers appeared in the grocery shop to seal money from the cashier. Of course, she shielded herself, not wanting to risk anything happening to the baby but when one of the burglars shot a woman, she had to help her. She moved instinctively, trying to stop the bleeding but she must have done something wrong because a second later she was holding her cheek after a not-so-nice-slap. She had no idea what was it with her and experiencing different attacks but she was really getting tired of it. But at least she knew now that whatever would happen, would happen on a Saturday because in the past she had encountered three attacks and all three happened on Saturdays. Seriously, couldn't the bad guys take a weekend break too like normal people?

Anyway, after that nice robbery, she stayed with the unconscious woman to make sure she wouldn't bleed to death until the paramedics arrived. Which she didn't. Fortunately. Felicity had no idea what she would have done if that woman had bled out right in front of her. She had only seen someone die once and even though that guy looked for trouble himself when he thought going after Oliver would be a good idea, it did not mean she was okay with watching someone be shot. 

After that, she got what she originally wanted, then went home.

That was when she noticed it was past six and she had a missed call from Oliver and a message. She quickly scrubbed off the blood and changed clothes before heading back to answer him.

**Oliver Queen, 3:58PM:**

_Come to the Mansion tonight. Please._

Looked like the big grumpy cat finally learned his lesson. She gave herself a clap, at least in her mind before hitting the reply button.

**Felicity, 6:37PM:**

_Why?_

She was about to put her phone down when it buzzed again, indicating the arrival of a new message. 

**Oliver Queen, 6:38PM:**

_You know why._

Wait, what? Had she missed something while she was asleep? Had he gotten her to agree on something she wouldn't have otherwise? No, he wouldn't manipulate her and she would feel that if he did. It was strange. Uneasiness settled over, mingling with curiosity as to what he could want. Had he needed her help again on something tech related? But he would have told her then.

**Felicity, 6:41PM:**

_Fine._

She replied, her anxiety only increasing. Frack, why had she hated mysteries that much? She could have said no. There was no reason for her to stay at the Mansion if he previously told her to live with him at the loft. But what if something happened? Though she doubted he would have told her to meet him there.

Looking at the screen, she waited for a reply but after a minute passed and no answer came, she locked her phone away and got her lunch-dinner to reheat it.

Eating was important. Whatever Oliver wanted, he would have told her to hurry if it was something really, really important. With that thought she grabbed her plate and started eating to ease her hunger.

* * *

The drive to the Mansion felt different than the last two times. She had no idea why. Maybe the fact that they had been attacked once there and she was almost kidnapped the last time. The security system was either very lame and outdated or their attackers were very professional and trained. Those were the two alterations she could think of. Maybe that was the reason Oliver called her. He wanted her to help setting up a better security system.

As she parked her car and got out, the uneasy feeling returned to her stomach, making her pause for a second. It might be already 8PM, with the sun setting down, but she couldn't help but remember that night when those men grabbed her and wanted to abduct her. She shuddered at the thought. Who knew what would be happening to her right now if Oliver hadn't intervened? Maybe they would have tortured her. Maybe they would have thrown her in a cell and that's it. Maybe they would have wanted her to hack into something. She didn't know those details just that she would have lost the baby. 

She placed her hand on her middle, the protective lion jumping out of the cave at imagining what could have happened. 

Taking a deep breath, she let herself forget these depressing thoughts. What really mattered that she and the baby were both okay. Nothing happened and nothing would. 

Walking up the stairs to the main entrance she waved at the guards as she stepped inside, looking for any sign of Oliver. Oh. She wasn't sure which stair would led her to him. Seriously, he really needed him to show her around the place so she could have a glimpse of where to find something. She was about to turn right when an older man stopped in front of her. 

"Are you here for Oliver?" He asked in thick Russian accent, the smell of whiskey reaching her nose, making her feel sick for a moment. The uneasiness grew inside her as the man kept looking at her and she wished she could see Raisa's polite smile again.

"Yes." She said as confidently as possible, hiding the level of suspicion and malaise from her voice. She had never seen that servant around. Whenever she was there, Raisa was the one to greet her and not someone else.

"He will be here in one minute. You can wait in living room." He said in broken English. It seemed like he hadn't used this language in a while. Had that mean something happened to Raisa? She would be really sad. She was a kind woman.

Nodding, she mouthed a small thank you then took off into the direction of the living room. That was the only place she knew for sure where to find. If the odd man would have said the kitchen she wasn't sure she would have found her way there.

The house was always quiet and while she knew Oliver's mother was still alive, she had never met her. She had never even caught a glimpse of her nor heard her voice. It was as if she was alive but not really. Adding to the fact that Oliver had never talked about her. Though they hadn't really talked about anything in all their time together. They met, got what they wanted, then parted ways. They had no time for primitive talks. Seriously, the only time they had really talked was when they fought. Whenever they got into a big or small fight, they would talk as normally as a fighting... as two fighting people could do.

Walking into the living room she sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace, watching the flames forming different shapes and forms. The heat seeped under her skin, making a little part of the worry go away. 

She stared ahead of herself with crossed legs, getting lost in the bright color of the fire. 

As minutes passed, her mind once again wandered to what Oliver could possibly need. If he indeed wanted her to help upgrade their system she would gladly do it, but he should have showed her to the server room already. Fixing someone's old mistakes would take her more than one minute and she didn't want to spend the entire night there. The place always creeped her out. No matter how big the building was, how many fancy chandeliers hang from the ceiling or how many expensive paintings were on the walls, the house always gave her shivers. She guessed that could be thanked to the many awful things that had happened here and that was what she could still feel. There were no signs of anything ever been broken or blood spilled and yet, she was conscious it was only a camouflage. Just a mask to mystify people outside their brotherhood. But since she knew what was happening outward the deceptive hiding or at least knew a part of it, she was aware that there were people killed in the that building. People who would never get to see their family again.

She gulped.

Was the circumstances of how Oliver lost his family false? Just a cover for the media to lead the spotlight away from the place of the homicide? Had they died there too?

Felicity couldn't get to muse on that thought for long because out of the blue she heard loud shouts in Russian, one of the voices belonging to Oliver. She couldn't see him but judging by the way the voices got louder, they were walking toward the living room. She wished she could speak that damn language to know if anything was wrong or not. As suddenly as the yells appeared they were cut off by Oliver's voice then everything returned to quietness. She could only hear the sound of wood burning for a while. Had Oliver forgotten she was there?

She heard footsteps echoing in the silence, before a big sigh left his mouth. 

"Felicity?" He asked and she turned around to see him with a frown on his face, his hand up in the air looking as he was just pinching the bridge of his nose. Oh. He didn't look like someone who was really expecting her. Yup, he totally forgot he called her there. Betting he had no idea why even he told her to meet him. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked me to come here." His brows furrowed and her worry spiked. She didn't like this. Something was utterly wrong.

He shook his head, before opening his mouth to reply. "No."

"But I got your message." She stood up and held her phone so he could see the text with his own eyes. She wasn't stupid. He really sent her that, or at least the sender was his name and while he was weird he did know about the Mansion. 

Taking the phone from her hand, Oliver read the message, tensing up. "Felicity, I'm not the one who sent you this message." If it wasn't him, then who was it and what did they want?

"But-" Her words cut off by the lights going out in the entire building, basking everything in darkness. No, just not again. That was her thought as Oliver gripped her hand and shoved her behind him to shield her from any possible attack.


	8. My Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. I did check it but given how tired I am might have missed things. I will answer the ask tomorrow. :) Oh btw, tomorrow will come a TFIOS update then on Saturday another Pacing update :)

Panic cursing through her veins, she pushed the emotion down, taking soothing breaths and letting Oliver's presence wrap her around in a bubble of safety. While he was with her, no harm would be laid on her. Not even on her hair. She knew that. Oliver would do everything to protect her. To protect _them_. Judging by his posture he would be ready to do unthinkable things. 

That was the moment she realized: He would easily with no thoughts kill someone to protect them. 

But she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let him sacrifice his own soul in order to keep them safe.

Feeling his fingers holding her wrist as he took out a gun she had no idea he had had, she peeked out behind his body with curious eyes, seeing nothing but darkness. While the fire was still burning, flaring with a life of its own, it wasn't bright enough to illuminate everything ahead of them and thus it was like they were in a cave with a torch in their hands, waiting for a bloodthirsty bear to attack them soundlessly. 

Besides the darkness and unpredictability, that was the other thing scaring her. 

The quietness.

Next to the natural sounds of a clock ticking and fire burning she couldn't hear anything. No footsteps. No gunshots. No yells. Nothing. 

Goosebumps erupting on her skin, she took a step closer to Oliver, seeking comfort in him, in his one hell of a muscly frame, heat radiating from his body seeping into her soul. She tried not to overthink anything, not to get any sudden thoughts that could make her panic and in turn make them more vulnerable or worse lure out danger right to where they were.

Oliver turned his head toward her, his gun still held up high as he spoke in a low, husky voice that sent shivers throughout her body. "Stay right behind me." She gulped and nodded at him, her fingers hunting for his to squeeze them. She needed to feel him to keep her grounded. To keep the flashbacks and memories at bay. It was the third attack on them under two months. _The third_. Too much for her liking and something in her gut told her it wouldn't be the last either. 

She followed his lead, trying to walk as quietly behind him as possible, her fingers clenching his in a strong hold as darkness started surrounding them whilst they made their way out of the living room. She had no idea where they would go, but she trusted him enough to not question his decision. He would get them all to safety.

Staying alert on any possible sounds, she heard the way her heart beat, pounded in a rapid manner, mingling with her short pants even though with him by her side she was sheltered.

Nothingness was starting to get on her nerves as they completely left the only lightened place, the nervousness playing circles in her stomach and she squeezed his hand, feeling as he instantly did the same to reassure her. He had ninja senses thus while she couldn't hear anything he probably could hear any moving being near them in a thirty square meters radius if not bigger. 

The angle of his hand changed, as he whispered, the sound coming near her face yet as if it was far from them. "Slowly. Stairs."

Felicity took a collective breath, trying to direct her foot to the first stair, stepping confidently as Oliver led them up somewhere slowly, being cautions and waiting till she was steadily standing before going up ahead and repeating the processes until her foot meet with air, indicating that they were on the top. 

They continued on a route which she assumed was a hallway leading to his study when he stopped out of the blue, taking her by surprise when she met with the hard plane of his back. The gloom was not lightened only at the end, where a small amount of light infiltrated through the windows. It was not enough to let her make out her surroundings or why they stopped, but it was enough to confirm her suspicion on where they were located.

Her free hand coming up to touch his back, she felt the muscles move under her palm as he probably raised his gun higher, aiming at something only he could know. She felt like she was in a post-apocalyptic movie, waiting for a zombie to stumble out and try to eat them. Or god, like a horror movie, where suddenly something, a demon or ghost grabbed one of their legs and dragged them away.

Okay. Enough of unwanted inappropriate, so-not-for timing thoughts. This was very much real, she couldn't just focus on movies when they could just get attacked at any moment by real enemies with real guns readied to kill them if necessary.

She felt the pressure on her hand go stronger like some kind of sign but before she could delve into what it could mean, a gun was fired, making her jump out of her skin because holy crap she didn't see it coming and it was way too close. Her heart skipped a beat as her breath hitched, the hold on him constricting to keep her guarded when she heard the sound of a groan and a body dropping to a ground. A sigh of relief left her mouth as the person being shot was not Oliver. Not like she didn't know he would have dodged the shot, but it still gave her a level of comfort even if it was bad to think that way because someone still got shot. Someone though who probably was there to end them.

Felicity had never noticed anyone in front of them unlike Oliver. If their lives depended on her they would be dead right now. She mentally cleared her throat, forgetting the not so comforting thoughts and instead concentrating on Oliver, who hadn't moved from the spot yet. Was someone else lurking around? Was he making sure the guy wouldn't get up or in case he did he would just fire at him again?

The first time they were attacked, it was quite similar to how things were played out. Except for the darkness and that she hadn't been nearly choked to death yet now. Or was that the part of the hallucination caused by the drug they gave her? She couldn't remember nor separate the real memories from the fake ones. But while this was similar it was different. That was more unexpected. This however... Okay, she couldn't have fathomed they would come after them again to kill either or both but she knew they wouldn't just give up after the failed kidnap attempt. That made her pause for a second.

Were they after her or was she in the way of getting to Oliver? Were they even after Oliver? Not that she would be happy if the answer to that questions was yes. She very much prefered if they would leave them alone. They had had enough on their plates already. They were having a baby. They should be focused on figuring things out not playing hide and seek with enemies. 

Feeling Oliver move suddenly, she fell into a small pace behind him, following his lead. Wouldn't it be wiser to leave the house and flee through a secondary entrance? Surely this house had more ways out than she could count. Though if the enemy plotted this for long, they probably got access to the blueprints of the building that would betray the way to their freedom from hell. She would have to talk Oliver about. Even if not all outcomes were drawn, they would be playing Russian Roulette if the attackers were waiting at the entrances. Or they would be the mice while the intruders the cats, waiting for the mice the peer their noses out of their hiding to catch them.

He stopped in front of a door, turning the knob to open the door. She followed him inside quietly, as his fingers let hers go, making her scream internally. She didn't want to lose sign of him. Without any source of light she was blind. She wasn't trained like him to see what was around her in total darkness. She was happy if she could find her pillow at the middle of the night if she switched sleeping positions and it got lost. Though, she usually turned on the bedside lamp to not waste time she could use on sleeping. 

Staying in one place, she waited for anything, for some kind of sign to let her know where to go or hide or even what to do. She heard a drawer being drawn out as Oliver picked up something. She couldn't even blink twice before he was in front of her again, the warmth of his body and the smell, a smell she could recognize anywhere, gave him away. 

"Do not leave this room and do not open the door to anyone under no circumstances unless it's me." Oh. He didn't sound like the Oliver she l... knew. He was... She couldn't find the right words to describe him. Cold wouldn't just cut it. Nor tense, nor angry. He wasn't what she got used to when he was in his Bratva self. This was something else.

"Felicity. No one. I'll come and get you when this is over." She didn't need to see his eyes to know how they looked like. They were probably hooded, closed from any emotions. He would have the same blank emotion he had when he killed that guy without thinking. She didn't want him to kill anyone. "Here's a pistol, just in case." He said, grabbing her hand and placing the cold weapon in her palm. How much she hated guns. Her hatred went beyond any hatred she had ever felt. Guns only brought misery. If a gun was involved no outcome would get a happy ending.

"Do you remember how to use it?"

"Yes." The weapon felt like a weight in her palm. A weight, a burden she wouldn't be able to bear. She wasn't sure she would be able to use it. The last time when she faced the enemy she wasn't capable of using it. Hence why she got hit with lord knows what kind of drug. Though if it was the only way to protect her child, she had no doubt she would.

"Good." He said, letting go of her to walk out of the room and leave her alone in the dark.

"Oliver." She called out his name before she could stop herself and she could literally see in her head the way he stopped and turned back to look at her.

"Stay safe." With no reply coming, she heard the sound of the door opening and closing leaving her alone in the quiet room. Somehow managing, without stumbling, to where he had left a moment ago, she groped the key and locked herself in place, hoping the echoing noise of the key turning wouldn't startle anyone nearby her. 

Now, she would just have to wait and pray. Pray Oliver wouldn't get hurt. Pray she wouldn't get found.

Strolling to where she knew the desk was placed, she hid under the wooden surface, throwing the gun beside her. She was disgusted by it. 

Felicity leaned her head back and pulled her knees up, wishing things would be over already. 

* * *

She had no idea for how long she had been sitting under the desk when the lights came back on again. It could have been mere minutes or maybe even hours. She just knew the moment light lit up, making her eyes flutter at the sudden brightness, that whatever had happened was over. 

Fortunately, no one barged into the room and tried to take or worse kill them but what was also weird about the situation was the fact that she hadn't heard any gunshots after Oliver fired. That could mean the enemies used silencer but if not she couldn't come up with a rational explanation. After all, this was an attack, right? It was natural to fire guns even if she was glad to hear none. Or maybe they just used another weapon. Though she doubted Oliver wouldn't have used his own to take them out. But... A small voice kept telling her that his own silence was also frightening. It could easily mean he was injured, lying somewhere in a pool of blood. She had no doubts in Oliver's skills but even he couldn't win if they way outnumbered him. Which meant at least ten men with deadly weapons. 

How long should she sit there before making a searching party on her own? She knew he said not to go anywhere but stay but if he was injured and she could save him, it was worth a shot. Oh, she could only hope he was alive or at least fine. He had to be fine. Scratch that, he was fine. She had to believe that. It was the only thought keeping her at bay. If she hadn't been pregnant she would have went to look for him a long ago. But she didn't want to risk the baby. But if Oliver was not alright and needed her help? How could she choose? The safety of her child or the safety of its father?

She had to find him. She couldn't wait any longer. She would be just extra aware to not fall or run into anyone. She had to. So the baby wouldn't grow up without a father, she told herself, believing every word. 

Getting up and ignoring the tremor in her body, she picked up the gun and walked to the door, unlocking the lock to peer out into the quiet hallway. Now or never. That was her chance.

Felicity slid past the door, tiptoeing toward the stairs near the wall, hoping it would be harder to instantly shoot at her if she was to be found. She thought about putting her hand around her tummy but that would give her away and might put them in more danger. Danger she wouldn't want upon herself nor the little one. This whole day was already stressing her out and more danger would mean double dose of stress and even at the moment she should be cutting sources of that, not adding.

Sighing, she was about to reach the stairs when someone appeared in front of her, someone with hard lines, tense features and an angry expression. Uh-oh. That anger was directed at her this time.

"What are you doing here? You should have stayed put!" He said, the hardness of his voice making the hair stand on her back. She knew he would be angry if he found her walking around when he was fine but this intensity was not something she truly expected.

"You didn't come back and I was starting to worry. I couldn't just sit back anymore and think whether you are alive or not!"

"And what would have happened if someone other than me found you, huh? Do you have any idea how reckless you are being? Your recklessness will get our child killed Felicity, damn it!" No. She must have heard it wrong. Did he...? Oh god, she was going to be sick. Yes, knowing he was alright and giving her plan a second thought she knew it was reckless, but, but did he just expect her to do nothing? Did he really think she wouldn't do anything in her power to protect her baby? Did he think of her that low?

"What did you just say?" She felt tears burn her eyes, wanting escape with a release but she couldn't. She couldn't let him show how much his words cut her. 

"We don't-"

"No, stop and answer me."

"I will answer you when you are done playing the brave."

"Excuse me? Is it really a problem that I wanted to make sure-"

"Enough!" He roared at her and she froze taking a step back from him. What had happened to make him act like that? Surely, it could not just be because of her. Before she could give it another train of thought he gripped her, his calloused fingers closing around her arm making her hiss as he started walking toward the stairs, dragging her along.

"Oliver, stop!" She said, trying to make him let her go, but his grip only tightened causing pain to shoot up her arm. There was the man she knew he was.

"Stop, you are hurting me!" At her words he finally stopped dead in his tracks, his fingers letting go of her and she took a step away from him, rubbing her reddened arm. Something crossed his eyes, something close to regret and sadness and hatred, but she couldn't put it together. In the past few weeks, ever since she had blurted out her pregnancy he had been acting weird. It was getting harder for her to read clearly his emotions.

"Felicity, I-" She didn't want to hear what he would say.

"No, don't finish that sentence." She held up her hand, motioning for him to stay in place. She couldn't deal with this anymore. Her feet was sore, she had an awful day, she couldn't deal with this type of Oliver now.

"I'll just go." She muttered, turning away to avoid gazing into his blue irises. 

"I'll drive you home."

"Don't bother, my car is here anyway." With that she started pacing, closing her eyes. He had crossed a line tonight. A line that would take time to heal, if it could be. Especially, knowing his stubborn self.

"Felicity, that wasn't a request. This attack was a distraction from something. I can't risk anything happen to you on the roads because of them." She wanted to answer, to fight and tell him to stay but energy flooded out her body suddenly, her legs starting to shake as her vision blurred and her arm shoot out to grab anything to steady herself with. He was by her side in an instant, holding her up by both her arms gently this time as her eyes fluttered close for a second.

"Felicity? Hey, hey, stay with me." Was it her or he sounded really funny? Like a clown. Though those are usually not funny. She opened her mouth to reply but she couldn't answer. She didn't have enough energy to form the words though she had to tell him many things yet. She had to yell at him for being an ass that night and also for his comment and they had to talk about soooo many things. 

Oh, was there a clown really standing behind him with devious smile? 

"Fuck!" He lifted her up in his arms, cradling her to his chest, her head resting on her shoulders as she nuzzled her face to the crook of his neck. For some reason she couldn't feel her legs. But as she was thinking about it, she couldn't feel her arms either. She couldn't move. She heard Oliver say something in panic but darkness once again started surrounding her but this time she welcomed it even though she wanted to tell him everything would be okay. 

Because it had to be.

That was the last thing on her mind before she was pulled deep down somewhere in the middle of darkness. 

 


	9. Non-Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! :)  
> And that's the second this week. Although these are not long ones. This one is only 3.8K for example. Anyway, my plan is to update the story every Friday, while update TFIOS on Saturdays (big sorry for not updating it when I said I would :( ) also I will start a third story (only because the Hungarian justice is three :P) but only when I have at least three chapters on TFIOS too and that will be updated every Sunday. I'm thinking about either a Rival CEO AU or Soulmate AU, haven't decided which one yet, but you can help me by telling me which one you would like to read earlier :)
> 
> As for the comments, I'm sorry for not answering to all of them. Tomorrow, or well... today *whoopsie* I'm going to answer every single one :) Also, sorry for any possible mistakes, my tired mind like to miss-write words (seriously, once I wrote play instead of place :O)
> 
> But enough for now. Stuff happen in this chapter as well. Let me know what you think after finishing it and happy reading! <3

She was floating, weighing almost like a feather.

A feather drifting carelessly into nothingness with no coherent thoughts, emotions or needs. She just existed. Almost like a part of a forgotten environment mingling with dark secrets and wistful memories. She was somewhere between a mystery itself and opened book. She never liked mysteries. Especially when that mystery concerned her. But as she was levitating, following an unknown path, she couldn't feel that typical hatred toward a riddle coursing through her. 

She couldn't hear noises either. Everything was quiet and calm. She was surrounded by peace. A peace that left her with nothing but emptiness.

That had never happened before. She had never felt this peace, this nothingness. She had never been at ease, not since the day her father left. He had abandoned them, causing a void and striking a hurricane over them that had never ceased, never vanished. It had hovered over them like small demons, reminding them of what they had lost and they could have had. Her mother never got over the heartache. Maybe that was why she had gotten ill after all. Her weakened body couldn't buck the potent sickness. 

She could still remember that day. How he put her to sleep, gave her a goodbye kiss then never returned. She had found her mother in the kitchen crying and clutching a letter in her hands. Her sweet mother couldn't speak, couldn't form the words of him being left. And she didn't have to. She knew what had happened the moment she had laid eyes on her. Would that happen to her as well? Would she fall in love only to have everything ripped away? She didn't want to end up like her mother. She didn't want to have a choking feeling every day throughout her life to evoke her of her missing half. Because that was love all about, wasn't it? Finding someone who completes you. Who fills in on the missing pieces and helps you make the best version of yourself. That was what her mother had always claimed at least.

Donna had always wished her daughter would have what she never had. A happy ending. She would be crushed to know it wouldn't happen. Not in the way she had wanted. 

How diverse would have been everything if her father had stayed with them? Would her mother be alive? Would she have met Oliver? Would she have ended pregnant? Probably not. At least the answer to the last two questions were a big fat no. As much as she wished things would have played out differently she wouldn't trade away anything if that meant losing her baby even if made her look like a bad person in some ways. She loved her baby already and she would do everything to keep the little one cherished and protected.

The tranquil bubble cracked, the feather-like feeling fading away and being replaced by a sudden vortex of sensations from hearing to sensing emotions and objects making contact with her. She wanted to grasp into that calmness for a while, wanted to stay there and just exist like the components of the universe. Felicity tried to shut out the warmness on the top of her body, the almost drum roll like throbbing in her skull, but reality sucked her back, making her aware of the sounds and scenes happening near hear.

She couldn't make out what a particular noise was, her mind and sensory organs pretty much fogged in the remains of peacefulness. She felt herself getting more aware of her surroundings from the comfy mattress under her to the ache in her body. She could feel it all intensifying, reminding her that she had to leave the relaxation voluntarily and face everything that was her life. Starting with the reasons behind her losing consciousness.

How long had she been out? Was the baby okay?

Was that stress or something similar to the last time? Though she hadn't been drugged, that she was sure of. She remembered exactly the hazy phase after the last drop of drug had left her body. That was nothing compared to that feeling. She was more exhausted than puzzled.

Gaining back her hearing she recognized his voice, his tone making her heart clench.  

"What do you mean you don't know?" Pained, brusque, impatient, angry. Only four adjectives to describe how he sounded and the list could go on.

"I'm sorry Sir, that was all the information I could serve you." The man was afraid. She could hear it from the way he spelled out the words. She wasn't surprised though. She would be terrified if she had to face Oliver's wrath like that too.

A glass shattering echoed in the silence of the room, the abrupt noise making her body jerk. If he hadn't noticed she was awake he would have now. 

"Оставлять."

Damn, why did Russian sound sexy on him? He made it sound so hot and who knew maybe he said go fuck yourself but it still sounded hot. She had always hated when he spoke Russian. Not just because what he had said was a mystery but because it was always a big turn on for her. Although these inappropriate thoughts could wait. She had to concentrate on what was happening.

The sound of a door being opened and closed filled the room and she had a guess she had just been left alone with Oliver. She would have bitten her lip if she had been facing him and not pretend to sleep. Was he waiting for her to say something?

She heard him move around, open a drawer and put something on the desk. She couldn't judge by the noise what it could be. 

"I know you are awake, Felicity." She released the breath she had been holding subconsciously, and peered her eyes open to see the similar walls of his study. So after fainting he had taken her back there and laid her down the couch then placed a blanket on her. How caring.

Taking her time, she sat up, leaning back against the cushion for support when she felt dizziness racing in her head in circles again. She had to stay awake, find out what happened and get home.

Her eyes wandered to him, seeing blood trickling down his hand and dropping to the carpet that probably worth more than her entire apartment. He had cut his hand with the broken glass.

"Oliver." She muttered, not liking the sight of deep red painting his hand. He shouldn't be bleeding. Even if he did that to himself, blood shouldn't leave his body. It was wrong on many levels. Placing her hands on the edge of the couch for help she pushed herself into a standing position, half leaning back to keep herself up and guarded. She clutched her eyes shot for a second, fighting back the circulating spots in her vision at the sudden movement. She wouldn't lose consciousness again.

Gaze meeting his, she watched his face, seeing his locked jaw, his hardened eyes studying her making her feel uncomfortable out of the blue. His stare felt like he was getting a peek at her naked soul.

"Let's get your hand cleaned up." She said, not being able to stand the idea of seeing his blood anymore. Despite what she had said neither of them moved, just kept communicating through looks about what words couldn't exactly tell.

_Never do that again._

_You scared me._

_I'm sorry._

It was always interesting. This battle they had with their eyes. A never ending intimate moment where neither blinked or looked away. Some would say they were having a so called 'eye sex' jiffy but in her mind it was much more than that. It was much more meaningful, much more important. Those were the moments her body would blush at his gaze, her heart would skip a beat or her breath would hitch. These were also the split seconds where understandings would be made, realizations would fell like well aimed bombs and leave havoc thoughts and perplexed emotions. 

Oliver took a careful step toward her to avoid startling her all the while not losing the connection they had created in a blissful second. Her lips parted, the slow and steadied breaths leaving her lungs in a calm manner, no side feelings attacking her at his look. No nervousness, no disappointment, no hurt, no longing just a sense of belonging. It made wonders blossom in her mind just how much he could change her mood or how quick he made her want him. He controlled some of her emotions that were attached to him and yet he never misused them. He never turned herself against her wills, he just let her fly in her own freedom. He might be demanding sometimes but he never pushed her buttons until she was cornered or felt beleaguered. And that was why she respected him. It was not the whole reason because she had her respect for him because of his strength and fire to survive but it was among the very main reasons.

Knowing what would happen if he stood in front of her with only a few breaths separating them, she broke their connection by turning her head sideways to where his desk was located. Bandages. Those had to be the number one priority. Cleansing his damaged skin from blood and wrapping them in a gauze.

Felicity inhaled slowly, letting go off the couch completely to walk to his desk. She knew he had stored an aid kit in the lowermost drawer because that had not been the first time she had to use it. Unfortunately. There had been once when she had to patch him up. That was also the night she had found out about his nighttime activities within the Bratva. That had not been the way he had meant to tell her, he said after the incident, but after it was out in the open he had given her a way out of his life. The problem was, she had no idea how to say no to that. To him. So she stayed and the rest, as people always say, was history. 

Swaying on her feet whilst striding in small steps to his desk, she avoided peeking a look at Oliver, not wanting to see the question in his eyes if she had needed help. Because she hadn't. Walking was child's play, or it should be but her battery was half empty and even moving her fingers to brush off her nervousness took a lot out of her. She tried not to show it though. Tried not to show how much energy it took to keep her balance, keep here gaze aimed at her target and control the movements of her legs.

Her hand shooting out to grab the edge of the desk, she leaned most of her weight on the furniture, letting out a small erratic sigh. Ha! She knew she could do it. While the couch was not far away it was still a victory since as she had explained in her previous rambling, a small movement made her want to rest. Clapping herself mentally, she pulled out the undermost drawer and picked up the kit. Resting her palm on the smooth surface of the desk far away from the shattered glass in case her dizziness suddenly re-attacked with a new force, she used her free fingers to open the box and got everything she needed to clean his hand up.

She placed the tools on the wooden surface next to each other and looked up at Oliver who had been watching every moment of hers carefully. What he could be possibly thinking about she had no idea and using time on trying to figure out while there could be glass pieces in his hand seemed unreasonable and time wasting. She motioned for him to go there so she could help him but he stayed in place, unmoving like he had been craved there.

"Oliver, we need to clean your blood up." She put more emphasis on the word blood to get him out of the place he went mentally and it worked because between two blinks he moved and was standing in front of her with only the desk separating them. Suddenly, desire shot through her. Not the one people would think. Just a desire to feel his strong arms around her, protecting her, embracing her like she was everything he had ever wanted. She wished she could make him happy. In all their time together she could count on one hand how many times he had looked happy and if there was someone who deserved happiness after suffering that much then it was him. 

She held out her hand to take his and he placed his bigger hand in her palm without hesitation. For the next few minutes she took out the tiny glass pieces out of his wound, brushed off the blood and disinfected the damaged area with the alcohol on the desk. Not once did he flinch, made a sound or made the slightest of movement. He tolerated everything she did without a word. Seriously, what did that man eat to have such a high pain threshold? She knew this level of pain was cake-walk for him because he had been through so much worse but it still amazed her. If it was her, she would have cried and bit down on something to keep herself from whimpering. Acting like a statue, a lifeless object while someone was cleaning your gash with alcohol... Even a little tiny cut could hurt like hell while disinfecting let alone the wound on his palm. 

When she was done, she cautiously wrapped his hand in bandage and caressed the now covered skin. If she could take the pain away from him, she would do it without a second thought. 

"I'll go now." Felicity whispered looking up from his hand. 

He shook his head, clearly not satisfied with what she had said. "Only, if I drive you." Why was it so hard to place a 'can' between words or a 'please?'

"No."

"I won't let you drive when you have just fainted."

"I'm fine now."

"And what happens when you are not fine suddenly on the roads?" Okay, he might have a point there. 

"Fine, but I'm not sleeping at the loft tonight."

He pursued his lips, but said nothing as he pulled his hand back and walked to where the door was. He unlocked the opening and held it for her with challenging eyes. Gathering her will, she straightened her spine, any traces of her fainting a mere hour ago gone as she looked him in the eye, strolling to him with their eyes connected again. 

Together they left the room silently, keeping their distances but still brushing hands every now and then. She could work with this quietness for now. She wanted to ask him many things but this was not the time nor the place. When they would be in the car she would bomb him with her questions and he would hopefully answer them all. And if not she would try to force the answers out of him but only for those questions that really needed to be discussed. Like the attacks.

Passing through the hallway, she saw more men patrolling the building, some talking in Russian, some not even acknowledging her presence like she was a ghost, only nodding at Oliver in respect. Did he tell his men not to dare looking at her or what? She could actually see that happening since he was a very possessive man, not that she liked that about him. She wasn't a possession he could just have. She wasn't just another random chick he could add to his trophy like that. He didn't own her, nor he would ever. 

They made their way to where her car was and she actually had to laugh at how he looked in her small car. Oliver-Mr-Broody-Queen with his big, strong body, sitting in the driver's seat of her mini. She would absolutely snap a picture if she had been given the chance but he would take it too seriously. 

Turning on the ignition, he drove away and she looked out of the window, watching as the Mansion disappeared behind them, leaving them with a dark road. Collecting her thoughts she turned her head to look at him and ask her first question. Yes, they had many, many things to discuss. From the pregnancy to the press to the attacks.

"Are you going to tell me why we have been attacked three times already?"

"No." A simple no? That was it? Did he really think she would just drop the topic if he had said that? Because if yes, then he was pretty naive for a Bratva Captain. He should know after all this time she wouldn't just accept his answer.

"Oliver."

"No."

"Why aren't you willing to tell me? And don't say to-"

"Protect you."

"Don't say protect me. Lies and secrets can never protect anyone." She say the way he stiffened, his knuckles turning white from holding the wheel with more force than he should. "Tell me." She continued with the same determination in her voice than before.

"Felicity, I can't tell you something I don't know either." Wait, what? 

"What do you mean?" He hit the brake, stopping the car and looking at her. His look screamed angry and frustrated. Oh-oh. That couldn't mean any good. 

"I mean that in the past weeks I have been trying to find the son of a bitch responsible for the attacks with no luck. Every fucking lead came up empty and I know nothing. Do you want the truth? Here it is. I can't find that fucking idiot and I don't know the reason behind those fucking attacks." He replied through gritted teeth. 

"Let me help you. If we work together we can catch that bastard."

"No way."

"Oliver, you are not alone. Just accept my help."

"No. I want you as far away from the Bratva as possible."

"When I chose to stay, I knew what I was getting myself into."

"I can't let the darkness of the Bratva taint you, Felicity. My answer is no." With that he looked away and started the car again. He didn't say anything, neither did she. She was too angry to even spare him a glance.

* * *

 

The rest of the ride passed in a blur. They didn't talk to each other nor look at one another but it was perfectly fine for Felicity. She wished he would let her help, let her in but she was done. If he didn't want her help then so be it. It wasn't the first time she had offered her help and her had declined her. It was probably not the last time either, knowing herself.

It was past 1 AM when they finally arrived at her house. Oliver turned off the car and without a word Felicity got up and walked to her door, knowing Oliver was in her heel. If he thought he could stay just because she wouldn't go back to the loft with him, he was deadly wrong. She dug her keys out of her purse and was about to unlock the door when his hand stopped her. She turned to look at him but instead of finding answers in his posture he moved and opened the door and walked inside her house. Ladies and gentlemen, Oliver the real gentleman. Okay that was rude. She knew he just wanted to make sure no one was waiting for her to return home.

She followed Oliver and turned on the lights. Everything in place, no one was there. He could leave freely. Except he wouldn't for a while judging by how he found his usual spot in front of the window.

Sighing she went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was until she downed the last drop of water as well. To avoid being a bad host she turned to Oliver and asked. "Anything I can get you?" He just shook his head and kept staring outside.

"Well, in that case, I'm going to take a shower. Not that you needed to know that. Obviously, you did since you want to stay by the looks of it and that's not what I've meant to say. You don't want want to stay of course you just-" She cut herself off, closing her eyes for a second and counting to three. Seeing Oliver playing his favorite character, a statue, she added. "Anyway, I'm just going to, you know, go." Turning away in embarrassment, she muttered a small 'okay' then walked upstairs to get ready for showering. There was nothing better than enjoying the warm water on your skin after a long day. She had already taken a shower that day, or yesterday, if we count the fact the it was already past midnight but after yet another attack it would be great to wash away the memories and the dirt she might have gotten on herself. 

Humming to herself, she turned the knob on her bedroom's door and stepped inside only to froze.

Everything was crashed. 

Her clothes from the wardrobe were scattered on the floor, her mattress was ripped, the mirror that was previously on the wardrobe was now in pieces everywhere. Her work-desk was broken along with her laptop, the sight making Felicity's heart ache. Her baby was destroyed. More than that. Someone had been in her house. In her bedroom. Oliver's previous words rang in her ears, making her heart stop for a second.

_"This attack was a distraction from something."_

A distraction.

She had been lured to the Mansion so they could rob her house. Or bedroom. 

Taking a step inside, she gasped when she stepped on the remaining of her tablet, tears burning her eyes. She wouldn't cry. She promised herself. No more tears.

Walking to her bedside desk she opened the drawer expecting to have her money stolen. Not the best place to store her money she knew but she had no other idea at the moment she had placed it there. To her biggest surprise, it was on its place. Then what did they need? Looking around, seemingly everything she had still there but either in pieces or not in its place, realization hit her.

Looking back at the small desk, she started searching, scanning, feeling the panic rise inside her. No. No. No. They couldn't be. They had to lay somewhere on the floor. Except they weren't.

They were gone.

"Oliver!" She shouted, her breaths coming out as quick panicked huffs, as she heard Oliver approach the room, only to stop at the doorway. She swirled to look at him with wide eyes, not bothering to mask the fear she felt. This was bad, very bad.

"They are gone. Every single picture from the ultrasounds are gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Оставлять = Leave


	10. Wait For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, :)  
> Here is the new chapter. Sorry for not updating yesterday but work was more exhausting than I thought originally. Anyway, here's the next update with 4,6K words. :) There's not much to say besides saying a big thank you (<3) for all the kind feedback, kudos and anything, really. :) It keeps the spirit going and makes writing easier. <3
> 
> As always, every mistake is mine, and hope you enjoy it! :) Happy reading <3

She saw him tense in a mere second, his face hardened, eyes not moving from hers. She could see the anger, the helplessness reflecting in the blue orbs of his as he locked his jaw and stiffened. His fingers were curled up into a tight fist, his gaze making her knees shake with desperation whilst panic filled her veins, her heart racing faster than it should normally. 

Felicity shuttered, lips trembling, breaths quick and uncontrolled.

"What." He asked, his tone making the vivid fear in her more awake because she wasn't the only one surprised and if something managed to surprise him it only meant bad things. 

"They are gone. I-I put all the pictures on my night stand and they are not here anymore and-" She couldn't continue. She faced away from him and placed a hand on her mouth as a sob wrecked through her, her arm instinctively wrapping around her middle where her child was growing, completely unaware of the danger that could be on him or her even before the due date. An unknown danger.

Someone wanted information on her pregnancy. To know how far along she was, to know if she was indeed pregnant. Someone who had plans to make them suffer by using their child.  _Their child._  

Felicity clenched her eyes shut, shutting out the unimaginable because there was no way she or Oliver would let anything happen to the baby. Yet the rational part of her knew it was not a promise they could keep easily if the enemy continued to be steps ahead of them. She would do everything, just like him in order to keep the baby safe but they had no idea who their opponent was, what he wanted or when he would strike again or if he worked alone or not. And that scared her more than anything in the past few weeks. They knew nothing and now whoever he was or they were, they knew about the baby. They would try to use the baby as leverage for something they had absolutely no idea. 

"Oh god." She whispered when she felt a hand on her shoulders and almost immediately, she turned into his embrace, fitting perfectly under his chin like she was made for him and he was made for her. Her fingers clutched his shirt, letting his warmth, scent and beating heart under her ear swaddle her as his arms came around her a bit hesitatingly, while she tried to keep the horrific images in her mind at bay. She couldn't help it. The moment she had realized the pictures were missing, beside the obvious fear, small flashes of what that could possibly mean later appeared in her vision like demons creeping into her mind. The flashes of what they could do to the baby, how they could hurt the innocent little peanut played in front of her. 

Her squeeze on the garment in her hand grew stronger as a response to the shuddering train of thought, her knuckles displaying a light color at the strong wring. She couldn't go there. Couldn't allow her mind to visit the place of what ifs. It would only do bad and it had already done enough damage in the past and even now. It would create unnecessary trepidation and that would consume energy she didn't have. Instead, she needed to focus on what they could do to prevent anything from happening.

"What are we going to do now?" She asked, her tone weaker than she hoped, showing off the feelings she was having. She felt his arms tightening around her in a split second, her eyes fluttering close again as a reaction. Sniffing, she tried to match her breathing to the speed of his heartbeat, knowing how badly stress affected the baby. 

 _Thud, thud, thud._  

It went on in a peaceful manner, not indicating the wretched despair and rage his features screamed. The rhythm, almost like a soft a melody, a lullaby, let her fight off the invading pictures and chaotic notions, replacing the troubled sentiments by a dome of easiness, not leaving just a scrap of space for anxiety. She turned off the outside world's din, not hearing anymore the sound of raindrops against her window, not hearing the thunder and the noises of the quiet street before her house, her only focus not swaying from the sound of his beating heart. It resonated through her body, battling off anything even close to concern.

He just soothed her.

Like he always did. Like he always could. Like he did the night before his actions destroyed the faith she had for forming a relationship with him. He held her that night similarly to how he was now a day after a situation close to this. An attack that had nearly separated them. An attack that might have prompted him to act the way he did. An attack that had them go different ways anyway until fate brought them back to this situation again. 

A deep feeling settled inside her, making goosebumps erupt on her skin because that was a feeling she had had for long before that fateful night.

"I don't know." It was not the answer she was expecting, but one she appreciated as it was sincere. He didn't try to make her believe he knew what would happen. He didn't try to make promises both of them knew he might not be able to keep. "But for now, we have to get out of here." 

"Okay." She mumbled not making any movements to step away from him. He didn't either. He just let her take the comfort she needed to keep going and for that she was more grateful than she could express. 

It felt so good for her to be in his arms just like that. As if, the outside world with difficulties would not wait for them and they could just exist forever in that bubble. There had not been many times they had hugged or cuddled. No, they had never cuddled. He did hug her for sure, but cuddling was not their thing. Even hugging was rare. They had hugged for four times if she could remember correctly, maybe even five and that was not much given that they had their meetings for months. Though, it was not like she was counting any physical interaction they had had beside sleeping with each other, she just happen to knew those because she had a very good memory. Or at least, that was the obvious lie she told herself.

She longed to be back at that night after the first attack. They had connected that night like never before. And she did not mean just sex. It was something so much deeper, something she had never thought she could have, not with him at least. He had whispered words into her skin, words she couldn't understand because he told them in Russian. He held her close and they took comfort in each other, making sure the other was alright, alive and well. They had shut out everything because nothing mattered but the two of them. And because of how they had connected, she was ninety-nine percent sure it was the night she had ended up pregnant. And if that were the case, it meant more than she could fathom.

Her chest ached at the memory and she inhaled, not caring about the shivers and quivering sensations going through her body.

As much as she wished they could have what they had that day she knew they couldn't. That was the reason why that had hurt her that deeply. Why she couldn't allow herself to gain hope for something more. He would only shatter the rays of yearning dreams the way he had not long after that. He had smashed every emotion she had, every fantasy and there was no turning back. They were past the point of no return. 

With that in mind, as much as her body craved his embrace, she pulled away, not lifting her head up to see his expression. 

"Thank you." She meant that. No matter the pain he had caused, he still brought joy to her life, even if she wasn't fully ready to truly admit it. He had also helped her clear her mind, sweep away the unneeded thoughts. "I'll just pack a few things for the night."

After those words, she turned away to face her ruined wardrobe to save any clothes she might need. A long shopping was ahead of her but she still needed spare clothes. 

Felicity was about to stride to get a bag and pack when a hand on her wrist stopped her. She swirled into his direction, gazing up at him, seeing how much the few weeks had affected him. Seeing, just how tired he was in reality, how much the worry, the anger and tension made him look older. "Always." He said and she gave him a small smile. 

He let her go and she took a step away, reminding herself of what she had to do. She couldn't start a never-ending stare competition with him now. 

She moved away the half-broken door of the furniture, searching and scanning for clothing that were not torn or filled with sharp pieces of glass. Not only after two full minutes, Felicity found a few dresses that she could wear along with two sets of lingerie and a shirt that she could use as pajamas for the night. Folding the cloths and settling them in her lap, she pulled out a bag and wiped off the shards of glass. Then, she packed the garments, trying her best to not feel the way Oliver was looking at her. 

When she was done, she stood up with the bag in her hand just as Oliver stopped beside her. He took the bag from her hand and she wanted to tell him it was not necessary because it was not heavy and she could carry it but one look at him and she just knew he needed to do that. He blamed himself and probably thought he couldn't protect her, which was not right. If that had been the truth she would have been dead or kidnapped.

"Oliver-"

"Let's go." He bit back, his harsh tone shutting her up. She didn't like that. He was closing off again.

He started walking away and she packed up his pace, following him quietly out of her room and her house. A house she once called home. After tonight she could no longer look at it as her home. Felicity locked the door and walked to her car, watching as Oliver threw the bag into the trunk and got into the driver's seat without a word. She sighed, the raindrops soaking her dress wet and making her shiver as she sat down in the passenger's seat, not taking her eyes from Oliver, who just drove away without a second thought.

It was a good distraction from invading thoughts during the ride to the loft and she could study him without his eyes doing the same. Felicity was mesmerized by him actually, by how calm he looked yet how angry he was. She knew he would blow off some tension by working out again. Her mouth watered at imagining him half naked again and she had to bit her lower lip to keep herself from letting out a not appropriate noise. It was not the time nor the place to fantasize about him. Not that she fantasized about him. Nope. Never.

He never once looked at her while driving. His gaze was glued to the road and because of that, she couldn't read every emotion he was having unlike in her bedroom when their glances meet. He was silent as well, lost in thoughts, his posture not an ounce relaxed from how he was earlier. If anything he seemed more on edge, like he kept thinking of ways to stop the future happenings or ways to tell himself everything was his fault. The sight broke her heart.

"Oliver, what's happening is not your fault." 

"It is."

"No. You weren't the one deciding to come after us. If there's anyone to blame for what's happening then those are the attackers not you. You protected me. You protected the baby. We are both okay because of you."

"I shouldn't have let you get involved in all of this in the first place." 

"Well, if I remember correctly it was as much of my choice as yours."

"We are here." Oliver pronounced just as he turned off the ignition. He got out without looking at her and she huffed, doing the same, but stepping in front of him, uncaring at how the rain made goosebumps break out under her clothes. A lightening stroked the air, illuminating his face more and she could see clearly the way he beat himself up in his mind.

"It's not your fault. Get that into your skull, Oliver. Not everything that's happening is your fault." His arms came up to cage her between him and the car, his eyes narrowing as he spoke in a low tone. If she was in a romantic movie, she would totally wait for him to kiss her in the rain. Though she didn't think it would be as hot as everyone made it seem like. She was cold, shivering and drops trickled down her hair to her cheeks like tears.

"Tell me Felicity. Whose fault is you getting hurt? Who was the one who couldn't stop those rats from getting to you? Who was the one who let himself be too distracted to be fooled tonight?" 

Straightening her spine, she poked him in the chest, not breaking eye-contact. "Do you know what you are responsible for? For breaking my heart. You had hurt me that day. That was totally your fault but the attacks were not. I wouldn't be here without you now." She saw amusement crossing his eyes for a moment before the frustration returned. She quivered, the cold rain still batting on them and his look softened a bit, the worry once more resurfacing. He stepped away, letting his arms fall back.

"Let's get you inside before you catch a cold."

"We are not done talking Oliver." _There are millions things we have yet to talk about._ She told herself as she walked past him to where the entrance was. He was a step behind her as they walked toward the elevator, the sudden change in the temperature fogging her glasses and she faltered, grasping his arm to make sure she wouldn't collide with anything. In any other situation she would have heard people chuckling at her but of course that was Oliver. He rarely smiled let alone laugh. She wasn't sure if he was even capable of laughing. 

The doors of the elevator closed already when she could see normally again and she made the mistake of looking at Oliver. With soaked hair and ruined makeup she probably looked like a mess but Oliver... With his short hair that begged for her fingers to run them through the wet locks, along with his damp skin, stubble and tiny mole near his mouth he looked like sex on sticks. Especially knowing how good he was at things. Felicity wetted her lips and gulped, feeling a blush creeping up at her chest all the way to her face as her gaze wandered to his lips and god she needed to stop. Like _right now_. But damn, she would be lying if she said he did not look tempting. 

What was it with her and her lust haze for Oliver... Maybe her body got used to him and it was weird having him near her but not inside her or maybe those were just pregnancy hormones. Yup. One of those explanations would do it.

Tearing her gaze from his face as the elevator dinged, indicating that they had arrived she followed Oliver, watching the way the clammy clothes clung to him and as result seeing the muscles move while walking toward the door of the loft. She took a composing breath, fighting off the urge to do anything she should not. Two months ago, she could have done whatever she wanted but everything changed. Not just because of her being pregnant but also because of the night they kind of broke up the arrangement they made. Or that was what she had thought. Without ending up pregnant she wouldn't have went back to him. She would have carried on with her life like she always had and forget what they had. If that was even possible to forget. 

Felicity shook her head a tad and walked into the loft as Oliver locked the apartment. She took the bag from his hand and pointed toward where her room was. "I'll just go and get that shower." She said, retreating a bit awkwardly when a thought crossed her mind and she swirled around for a jiffy. "I was serious, Oliver. We are not done talking." With that, she strolled up to her room to get herself warmed up and pray she wouldn't become sick after standing in the cold rain for more time than they should have.

* * *

 

When she got back from showering Oliver was nowhere to be seen so she sat down on the coach in front of the fireplace and waited, stroking her very tiny baby bump. She actually couldn't wait to hold the little one in her hands. Would it be a girl, or a boy? She didn't really care as far as the baby would be healthy after all the stress. Staring at the fire like at the Mansion only a few hours ago, tiredness came over her eventually and she laid down, resting her head on the armrest, keeping her eyes glued on the flames and not stopping the caressing movements of her fingers.

Thinking of the stolen photos, her heart ached because she had no images of the baby's growing progress anymore and she didn't even have time to truly study the pictures. She wished they could get back everything from photos to DVDs that were stolen but the rational part of her knew it would not likely to happen. The person who had stolen them probably destroyed them or was planning something that could be used to frighten them. Nuh-uh. No going there. She wouldn't let herself imagine stuff that could happen. She had to cut all the worry for the sake of the baby's health.

If she started thinking about all the problems she would end up with a headache.

From the press to working with Oliver to make an arrangement that was best for the baby to the anonymous attacks. Nope. She would not finish that list. Those were the big problems but there were several minor ones too. For now though, she had to focus on Oliver. If she managed to have a full, uninterrupted conversation with him, they could find ways to ease the other big problems. 

Especially the press. He knew the vultures better than her since he had lived his whole life in spotlight because of the Queen name. It must have been bad. Being watched every minute of your life for juicy stories because of your family. She had no idea how she would have handled that. How she would have handled all the gossips and lies. Actually, she had no idea how she would bear those in the future as well. The rumors at QC already made her feel bad and that was way reduced compared to what it would be like for the press to find out she was having Oliver Queen's child. She would be called from bitch to gold-digger and every synonym she could think of. And she did not even mention how people would follow her everywhere, not caring about personal privacy or anything for that matter. She just hoped they would not discover that she was living with Oliver since once the press realized she was not staying 'home,' they would hunt down her location. And that would be bad for the both of them. Very bad. For one, his super-secret living place would not be a secret and if the attackers did not know about the loft they would. And for two, she would lose all the remaining privacy she would have. She really didn't want to walk to her car while reporters pushed sixty-seven million different cameras into her face. Also, it could endanger the baby. One forceful push and tragedy could occur. 

She shuddered at that, shaking away the thoughts of the press. "I won't let anything happen to you, little one. Mommy will protect you with the help of Daddy." She said, stopping her hand on her tummy and just resting her fingers on the small curve of her abdomen. Since when did she call him 'daddy?'

That was when realization truly hit her. She wouldn't be the only becoming a parent. Oliver would be a father. She knew that already but she had just only understood now. He, Oliver Queen, Mob Captain and CEO would become a father to a tiny human. She couldn't exactly picture him standing with the baby in his hands. The baby would simply get lost in his big arms. It just seemed weird in her imagination and yet she knew without a doubt he would hold the baby even if he was very scared to do so. He would probably try to tell her some lame typical Oliver line about breaking the baby in his arms accidentally before she would tell him to get over his caveman crap and pickup his child.

What would he be like as a father? Would he try to push away the poor kid when things got too dangerous or pull them closer? How would they make everything work so the child could get to see both parents equally? Questions burned in her mind, questions she had yet to wait until they would get answered.

A throat being cleared startled her and she sat up, making place so he could take seat next to her.

"Hey." She said, placing her legs under her and leaning her elbow on the backrest as her glance met his. "How long have you been watching us?"

"Not long." He said but the way he spoke those words told her he was not telling the truth. He probably heard the sentence where she called him daddy but didn't want to admit in case she freaked out. Which she wouldn't have but Oliver probably thought that. 

"Now that we have time to actually talk I don't even know where to start." She huffed out a laugh and looked at her lap, trying to find the right words. Really, where should she start? With the press, the attacks, their living arrangements, their fight or something else? Maybe the attacks would be the best choice since it was the biggest danger and problem they had had.

"You have to let me help you." He growled as a reaction. Freaking growled like a wild animal, like a wolf.

"Felicity, we already talked about this." 

"Yes, but that was before the pictures were stolen. I can't just do nothing while I know I could do something that could help us."

"I don't want to get you involved anything Bratva related."

"If you haven't noticed before, I have been involved a long ago and it's not like I'll grab a gun and start shooting illegal drug dealers." She had said that because Oliver had done a lot to prevent drugs from flooding the city. He did very wrong things but somehow he managed to get the Pakhan, the real, real, big bad mafia boss to allow him to do things differently. She had no idea how or why the leader agreed but she had never asked either, though, he wouldn't have told her even if she did question it.

He tensed at the last part of her sentence and she rolled her eyes at him. He couldn't be serious to actually think she would try to do any field work like that. "Fe-li-city." 

"'O-li-ver.' I can say your name too." She said, making quotation marks with her fingers in the air when saying his name before continuing. "My point won't change. If you let me help you, we might catch those people earlier and I promise I will stay behind my keyboards." 

He pursued his lips, not saying anything for a few seconds. He didn't like that idea, she just wished she knew why. As long as she was doing what she could do best no harm could come to her and if yes it would not be because she had helped him. "Fine." He said and she let out a relived sigh. She never thought he would agree. Especially not that easily. That was good though, she wasn't complaining. They could talk about the next issue sooner. 

"You know-" She started but was interrupted by a big yawn and she blinked a few times, fighting back the tears that came with the yawning. She always hated when she had tears in her eyes because of yawning. 

"You should get some sleep. We can talk in the morning."

"What? No. Absolutely not. This is my lucky chance. If you had agreed to helping you that easily we might just make a well-thought arrangement now." There was no way, she would go to sleep now. She didn't want that. She was tired, yes, but they finally had the chance to talk. Who knew when would the next chance appear? Maybe tomorrow, maybe a week later or a month later! They had to talk.

"We will talk in the morning."

"You can't guarantee that." 

"I know." She yawned again and dipped her head, growling because she really wanted to get over this conversation once and for all. She did not want to have it in pieces.

"Come on." He said, touching her arm slightly to get her into a standing position. She did want that but he was right. She might focus better when she had rested, after all their discussion was important and she had to be wakeful to make good decisions.

She closed her eyes and leaned forward to get her legs functioning but the top of her head touched his hard chest and before she could think of what she was doing, she rested her head against him, right above his heart. If she was going to sleep, she might as well just sleep on him. She felt his arms around her body and before she could process what was happening she was in the air, her arms wrapping around his neck. "Oh, you didn't have to." She told him but other than that, she did not do much to protest. She had always liked being in his arms, so she would not complain.

Keeping her eyes closed, she let Oliver carry her back to her room whilst she listened to his heartbeat again, the rhythmic sound calming her completely and pulling her closer to the world of dreams and unawareness. 

He lowered her to the bed, the soft mattress dipping a bit under her weight as she pulled the blanket over herself. "Good night." He said and turned to leave but something nagged at her at the sight of him leaving, making her open her mouth and call out his name. 

"Oliver?"

"Yeah?" He stopped, just gazing down at her with his blue eyes, the words she had long forgotten.

She shook her head, the tiredness knocking to make her realize just how tired she was. "Nothing." She muttered and he turned off the lights, leaving the room and leaving her alone. Again.


	11. Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :)  
> I'm sorry for such a delay. School started again and I needed a few days to get my schedule and also to get used to the free time I have. Plus, there were other complications but it doesn't matter, they are in the past now and the new chapter is here. Thank you for the big response, I appreciate each comment or kudos or really, anything :) Also, thank you for the support on Twitter as well.
> 
> As for the chapter, no words. Stuff happens. *wink* Also it's over 6K words, yayy! :)
> 
> Happy reading! :)

_She was running._

_Sprinting._

_Hearing the sound of a cry from a distance, hearing the desperate, heart-wrenching cry of their child. The sharp noise filled her ears, making it a sound she would never forget, not until there was a breath left in her body. The little one needed help and she wasn't near, she was nowhere near to reach the baby._

_Heart pounding rapidly under her chest, she reached the end of the narrow hallway, turning left to follow the cry, the sorrowfulness floating in her veins because she couldn't stop the suffering. She couldn't help the baby since she wasn't there. She needed to help. She needed to get there before it would be too late, before someone would get there faster than she to take the child who had just been born not long ago._

_Movement after quick movement, she felt her limbs becoming numb, but she couldn't stop until she reached the baby. That was the number one priority._

_A gunshot echoed in the air and her heart skipped a beat, a small desperate 'no' leaving her mouth, the tears she had been holding for long threatening to spill out. She was close. Nearly there. They only needed to hang on for a little more. The cry of the baby didn't stop, but the worry in her spiked higher, the fear of the unknown giving her the strength to not stop until getting where she needed to be._

_She could see trails of blood on the floor in a path, making her chest contract with pain, knowing what was to come._

_Felicity kicked in the door she had reached, destroying the only obstacle separating her from her family. She stepped inside and ran to where the 2-day-old baby was squirming on the carpet, her high-pitched cry the only sound in the room. Hands reaching out, she held the baby to her chest, clenching the little human in relief. She finally had her in her arms. Safe and protected from any harm._

_She breathed in the scent of her baby, the alarm and fear she had felt not wanting to stop like the baby's cry. Turning to leave, she caught a glimpse of a pond of blood and followed the trail to its source, feeling her heart break at the sight._

_"No. No, please no." A sob escaped her throat and she crawled to where he was lying in his own puddle of blood, not letting go of the child as a hand touched his bruised cheek, her thumb drawing half a circle near his jawline, spreading the small amount of blood that was spilled from his mouth. His eyes were closed and her hand trembled, the picture he was making tearing her insides apart._

_He was so still. So pale._

_"Don't leave me. You can't. You promised." Leaning her head on his chest, her voice broke into an anguished cry, matching the desperation in her baby's cry like the little girl knew what was happening. Like she knew what they had just lost, what she had just lost._

_"Oliver, please." Her palm found its way to where his heart was beating furiously only hours ago and she curled herself around him, the baby kicking in her arm, but she couldn't get herself to rock the girl to sleep because he was dead. He would not be coming back this time. He would not tell her he was there, he would not hold her because he wasn't there with them anymore._

_He was dead._

_"Oliver!" His name escaped her lips, hoping that it would wake him up, but he remained unmoving, not answering to her pleading. "Oliver!" She yelled, the agony so intense-_

* * *

 

"Hey, hey. Felicity. Wake up." Her eyes opened widely and she gasped for air, the pain of losing him not seizing in her chest and she clenched the blanket, trying to get her thundering heart to slow down. Looking around, her gaze met his even in the darkness, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders at the sight of him. He was alive. He was next to her.

"Oliver." She whispered, the lump around her throat turning her voice like she had merely been crying out her heart.

He was truly alive.

"You are here." She touched his cheek, feeling his warm flesh under her palm, soothing the worry, the pain and the fear inside her. She had only been dreaming. She hadn't truly lost him. Relief flooded her and she sniffed, her lips curling up into a small smile. She had no idea why she was acting like this since she locked away and buried everything she had felt for him but for some reason the dream, no, the nightmare made her realize that she couldn't actually lose him to death. Not seeing him for weeks, being hurt by him was not as much of a great pain as losing him completely. And that was something she had only realized now.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice not a whisper but not like he usually spoke either and she nodded, pulling away her hand from him.

"Yes. It was just a nightmare. Nothing serious." Felicity said the last part not only to him but to herself, hoping to get the picture of him lying still out of her mind, hoping for the tearing torment to fade away.

He stood up and sat down on the bed, careful of not sitting on her, his hand finding her arm and stroking the naked skin.

"Do you want to talk about it? Someone once told me it can help." Her smile grew bigger and she rolled her eyes at him, knowing exactly who told him that. Surprise or none at all, it was her. It was a couple of days before the night that had changed their 'relationship' between them. It was actually after one of the times she had called him and they had sex but it was already too late for her to go home and thus she had stayed in one of the guest rooms. She was having a very peaceful dream when his voice woke her up. She still had no idea what he was talking about in his dream because he had spoken in Russian but whatever it was clearly made him upset. He was shaking and sweating when she found him, his tense body screaming for a release. She made the mistake of touching him and he strangled her in a spin of a second, making her gasp for air but the moment realization dawned upon him, he let her go and apologized. It was no big deal, really, and at least he woke up from whatever world he was stuck in his own imagination between real memories. That was when she had suggested to share what he was dreaming about. Not because she was curios, okay she was but that hadn't been the main reason, but more like because she hoped if he got the thought that was bothering him off his chest he could sleep soundlessly for a few hours.

"No, it was just a silly nightmare. The adrenaline burst I had gotten in the past few weeks must have gotten to me. I'm okay, truly, but thank you." She didn't want to tell him how much the thought of losing him scared the crap out of her. While she did acknowledge it, she wasn't ready to say it out loud just yet. Thinking about something and admitting it were different and she wasn't on the right track yet to let him know.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I'll let you go back to sleep." With that, he got up and pushed his hands into his pocket, an awkward silent filling the surrounding air. She bit her lip, noticing how he was dressed. Was he going out? In the middle of the night? She wanted to ask but the words stuck in her mouth as he turned to leave. He was a Bratva Captain he probably had some business to take care of that couldn't wait. She just hoped he would be there in the morning so they could finally talk.

With no other words, he walked out of the room and she closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to once again capture her in its own world, hoping to avoid nightmares.

* * *

 

The next time she woke up she was alone and the room was basking in light. No sounds could be heard from the loft and she doubted Oliver would be downstairs waiting for her so they could continue their talk. Having that knowledge, she took her time and slowly got out of her bed, picked up a dress she could wear for the day and headed toward the bathroom to change. She and Oliver needed to go back to her apartment soon and save everything that could be from her bedroom and also see what she needed to buy. Plus, she needed her laptop as well to start tracking down the bad guys and for her luck the last time she had seen it, it was in the living room on the desk and thus it would most likely be unharmed. Though she would check to see if anything had been bugged because who knew? They might have placed mini cameras inside the rooms so they could check their reactions. If that were the case maybe she could come up with something to track the attackers.

Closing the door behind her, she stripped down and placed her clothes on the basket near the toilet and jumped into the shower to wash off everything that had happened the day before.

She honestly couldn't tell anymore when was the last time she had just allowed herself to take a long shower and get lost in thoughts. With everything happening lately, she couldn't bring herself to waste time on showering and hence she usually just washed herself quickly then went to do what she needed. Now, tough, she had all the time in the world.

Setting the water to a nice and warm temperature, Felicity washed her body and hair, just enjoying the pleasant sensation.

After showering she would try to make herself breakfast if Oliver was not around then maybe call him to ask if they could go to her previous home to get a few more things. If he was there then she could quit calling him and just flat-out ask him but only after they talked. She truly wanted to get over their conversation and with her growing belly they really needed to discuss for example the problem of the press and the stress it would bring. Preferably, she didn't want to stay at the loft and work from distance but it might just be the only way to avoid the flashing cameras and questions thrown at her, as well as the rumors at QC. Swallowing, she blew out a collected breath, her shoulders filling with tension at the thought of QC. She needed to move one. Lingering on that topic would not be a very good idea.

Maybe after talking and finally getting her precious baby back, she would start tracking down the bad guys. If she could accomplish everything on her list her Sunday would be productive, very productive. She hated doing nothing or being useless. Sure, she did love lazy mornings or quiet moments, especially with her pregnancy but she needed to occupy herself with something. It was in her DNA, she couldn't help it.

Washing the shampoo out of her hair, she let the water descend down her body for a while, the warmth seeping into her bones like this was just a regular Sunday and there were no problems ahead of her.

It felt good for her. To just stand under the water surrounded by steam with no care of the outside world. She stayed there for several minutes then closed the faucet and stepped outside, wrapping a towel around herself while she took care of her wet hair. The steam around her fogged the mirror and thus, she opened the door, feeling the cooler air raising goosebumps on her legs.

Felicity toweled herself, took on her lingerie and hopped into the dress she chose. She was trying to zip up the dress but it got stuck, the way her body had already changed not allowing her to zip up the cloth and she let out an annoyed breath. She couldn't have gained that much weight already that she couldn't fit into one of her favorite dresses. That was impossible. She turned sideways, seeing the way the garment hugged her body. No more dresses at QC. She might not have a big belly yet but the dresses she usually wore would give her away and she couldn't let that happen. She needed to come up with something to cover her pregnancy. A loose shirt or something that would make it seem like she had just gained weight by stress and not got knocked up.

Trying again, she exhaled and straightened herself in hope to get the zipper work and it did help because she was able to zip the dress with no further complications. She really, like really, needed to go shopping.

While the clothing was taut around her it wasn't discomforting at the moment so Felicity gave herself an imaginary clap and left the bathroom to go and eat something.

Making her way to the kitchen, she hadn't seen nor heard any movement and thus, she knew for 100% Oliver wasn't home. That was exactly what she had feared yesterday before going to sleep. Sighing, Felicity opened the fridge and peeked inside, searching for something she could make that involved no cooking. Her cooking skill was picayune. Honestly, she couldn't even make eggs without burning them. She had tried of course on many occasions but after a while in fear of burning down the whole place she had just given up.

Eyes settling upon grapes, Felicity took them out and washed them. It would be better than nothing and once Oliver was home she could ask him to cook for her. She knew how yummy his cooking was. She hummed to herself in agreement and slopped down on the chair then started eating, staring into nothingness.

Around five minutes later, the doors cracked open and Oliver walked inside the loft, wearing a suit and damn, why did he have to wear that? He waved at her and strolled to where she was eating the fruit while her eyes kept rooming over his face, trying to figure out what he was thinking. When he gazed down at her plate and saw a handful of grapes she saw him roll his eyes as he turned away from her and opened the fridge to take out eggs. Was he seriously going to cook for her while he was wearing a freaking suit?!

Felicity gulped and not being able to contain her curiosity, she swirled around and watched as Oliver moved around like he was made to be a cook. A haze of lust washed over her, staring at his back while he cracked the eggs open one by one and frack. She should not feel that hot all of a sudden, ogling Oliver while he was making food for her in a suit more expensive than the consists of her old bedroom, but she couldn't help it. He was a well-built, handsome man. Anyone who denied his good looks was probably blind. Like really, really blind. No wonder she fell for him once already.

What?

Choking at her own inner rambling, Felicity torn her gaze away from his, feeling her cheeks heat up. She might have had a tiny crush on him before but saying, even thinking, she had fallen for him was a bit too strong. And wrong. Like very, very, very wrong. Oh, had she mention wrong already? Because it was on so many levels. A big lie. She hadn't fallen for him and he didn't for her. It was that easy. Plus, he loved someone else. Or that was what she assumed judging by what she had heard all those weeks ago. But, it was not the time nor the place to think about any of this. Especially not of her first train of thought! She had never fallen for him. Nope. Nan. Never.

Sweeping away that thought under a rug, she watched Oliver setting a plate in front of her with steaming, delicious-looking food that made her mouth water. Big broody Captain making her breakfast. She wanted to laugh.

Taking the first bite, her eyes closed on their own accord, the different tastes attacking her. It never failed to amaze her how well he could make food, using only a few ingredients. Seriously, if her life depended on her own cooking she would die out of starving but Oliver... If he was not a mobster and a CEO, he should open his own restaurant. Okay, maybe she was overreacting things, but she couldn't help it.

Oliver took a seat opposite her, linking his fingers on the table, simply watching her. She shouldn't feel nervous under his gaze but she was. She was sure once she stopped eating they would talk again and she had no idea what kind of mood he was in. His moods always reflected and changed his opinions.

"I need to get a few more stuff from my house." She said between two bites, hoping that her starting the unavoidable conversation would result in similar answers to yesterday.

"If you only need your laptop, I can buy you another."

"No, it's not just that. I don't want to leave everything just behind. I'm assuming I will spend a few weeks here and for that I need my own stuff. There are also documents I need to be able to do my job at QC." She explained, taking the last bite and pushing away the plate to drink from the water he had set next to the food. "Thank you for the breakfast. You never cease to amaze me. Well, not you _you_ , but your cooking. Though, I'm not saying you don't amaze me because you do, I mean not amaze but more like surprise and-"

"Felicity, take a breath."

"I'm sorry. What I wanted to say is thank you." She smiled, her cheeks a nice shade of red from blushing. They looked at each other and Felicity hummed, stretching the silence.

She had forgotten what she wanted to say. "Umm..."

"Okay."

"What?" She asked back, brows narrowing.

"We will go to your house and you can collect what you need."

"Oh, to that! Right, okay. And when? I'm not impatient I just want to start tracking down our attackers."

"Either today or tomorrow."

"Cool. Well, not, because I wanted to start working today but tomorrow is good too." What was it with her and explaining everything? Did Oliver put something in her food to make her talkative that much? Okay, even she knew it was ridiculous. He wouldn't do that. Her ramblings probably annoyed him anyway. "Can we talk about the press now? You know, thanks to you, the whole company thinks we are sleeping together which is actually not that far away from the truth if we really think about it..." She trailed off and shook her head a tad. She didn't mean it come out like that. It might have been his fault, really, but he didn't need a reminder of that. He already blamed himself for too many things, even for those that had nothing to do with him.

"What are we going to do about it? In a few weeks I'm going to show and everyone will know what is going on exactly." Something, she couldn't read much to her annoyance crossed Oliver's face and she continued. "And once the press finds out it's game over."

"Because of the constant danger, I want you as close to me as possible, which is why your office will be on the same floor as mine."

"Excuse me? Oliver, for the love of God, I was just telling you about the growing rumors and you say this? Do you know how that will look in a stranger's eyes?"

"I don't care about strangers."

"Well, I do, because those are the strangers that spread gossips of me. Those are the strangers who keep destroying my reputation and also my career. Do you know how hard I worked to get where I am now?"

"Either this or being my secretary."

"Oh my god." Felicity got up and walked away, needing a bit of a distance between them to cool off her anger. Did he really think of her that low? Did she really not value that much? QC was basically the safest place she could be at. No one is going to attack her in public because it would attract attention the attackers surely not needed. "You can't be serious."

"Would you rather be my secretary?"

She turned back to where he was, surprised to see he was in front of her. Poking his chest with both her hands, she continued with the same anger as before. "Oliver, did you know I went to MIT? Guess what I majored in. Hint, not the secretarial art."

"Felicity. If we want to make this work, I need you to be safe and for that I need you as close as possible."

"Maybe what about sharing ideas and not just shoving a decision down someone's throat, huh? Would that be so hard?"

"Why can't you see that everything I do is to protect you?"

"To protect me? Oliver, by moving my office next yours you are basically throwing me to the wolves! How is that protection?" She raised her voice, glaring at him with all the anger she felt.

"Felicity, I can't lose you!" He yelled back, making her freeze for a second.

"Oh, so now you can't lose me. That's interesting, when you told that woman you never cared about me it didn't seem that way. You made me believe I was nothing to you and now-"

She was cut off by his lips on hers, his big hands holding her hips and forcing her to stay in place. Felicity froze, not understanding him. If he didn't care about her, why was he kissing her? In hope to make her stay because she was pregnant with his child? Was his plan to turn her own body against her? Because if so, it would clearly work. His soft lips pressed against hers made her heart pound like a dream roll against her will, her chest heaving rapidly. She felt herself heat up, the sensation of him like that so foreign yet so familiar. His tongue swept her lower lip and all rational thoughts fled from her, leaving behind the feeling that was him. Only him.

She felt him withdrawing slowly but before their lips could separate, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down with a strong ferocity, her mouth opening to welcome his tongue and he did use the opportunity. His tongue slid against hers and she gasped, feeling her body boil with heat under the dress she was wearing. She needed him. No matter how much she would regret this later. She truly needed him. Now.

All of a sudden, her back collided with the wall just as his hands found her thighs and she jumped at him, linking her ankles behind his back, feeling his strong chest pressed against her hardening nipples. The kiss that was slow before turned rushed, the anger they both felt represented by the pressure and she dragged her nails over his scalp, earning a hiss out of him. His mouth moved away, leaving hot kisses on a well-known path to her throat, heart beating furiously as she tried to press him closer to her with her hands. She felt the familiar need pull low in her body, her whole frame pulsating with a hot desire for him. It had been so long. She didn't want to wait long. She didn't want foreplay. She wanted nothing but him to fill her.

One of his hands rolled up the dress on her thighs as he thrust his hips forward right where she needed him the most, her head tilting back at the feeling. She was burning with need for him. Her sex was pulsing with a deep desire for him that with each pound of his hardening member against her grew stronger. Her breath hitched, her toes curling above his bottom as he sucked on her collarbone and rocked his cock to the right spot. Eyes fluttering close, she grabbed his shoulder for leverage.

"Oliver, plee-ease." She whispered, hear breathing coming out in short, quick pants.

"Tell me what you need." His tone sent shivers down her spine as he thrust forward again, making her clench her eyes from the pleasure.

"You. I-uh- Need you."

Felicity heard a tearing sound as Oliver tossed something away, and only when the cooler air touched her sex did she realize he tore off her panties. She shouldn't feel that turned on but damn it, she was and there was no escaping this lust haze now. His finger touched her clit and she jerked, the sudden feeling sending a rush of heat through her. She was more than ready.

Without a warning he plunged his finger inside her, earning a hoarse cry out of her as a result. She was so wet for him, she could feel it in the way he moved his finger in quick eased movements, building her higher and making her wetter second by second. She shouldn't want him this much. She shouldn't but she would be lying if she didn't need more.

He gave her a few strokes before pulling out and she would actually murder him if he dared to stop now. Oliver set her feet on the floor and she shot him a glare, still panting, still with a need so strong for him, she was surprised she didn't jump right back at him.

He started unbuckling his belt just as she shoved the suit off of him. He threw away the unwanted garment in a split second, opening his pants while she worked on the buttons of his shirt. She wanted to feel his warm skin under her palms. No, scratch that, she needed to feel him. Oliver dragged down his pants in time as she managed to open his shirt, leaving him gloriously naked. She wetted her lips, her desire for him reaching new heights at seeing his dilated pupils, at seeing he was just as affected as she was. Her hands moving without giving it a thought she found his chest, touching every bit of skin she could at once, feeling the ridges, the imperfections that made him the man he was. His scars didn't make her feel disgusted. If anything it only made him more attractive to her.

His fingers found the zip on her dress and pulled them down, the cloth pooling around her ankles. She kicked the garment away, lifting her head to gaze into his eyes. Finding the strap of her bra, he unstrapped it and hurled it across the room, placing open-mouthed light kisses on the top of her breasts. He pulled back and grabbed her ass with both hands make her breath catch in her throat as he once more pressed her against the wall, the cool surface doing nothing to cool her down. She was on fire. Every part of her.

She jumped at him again, wrapping her legs behind him while his erection was pressed between him and her stomach. Not losing eye-connection until the last second he lowered his lips to hers, the anger she had felt not long ago disappearing like it had never been there before, being replaced by a deep desire. The kiss, while rushed was pure and passionate, his tongue forcing her to open her mouth for him and she did gladly, the sensation of him feeding a part of her hunger. He grasped his cock in his hand and guided his hard member to her entrance, not touching her yet just teasing the small bundle of nerves, making her wetter than she ever had been. This would be the first time they had sex without a condom. She knew it would be different and she wanted to savor every feeling.

Holding onto his shoulders, he pulled back from her lips while still teasing her, his hands holding onto the wall next to her sides. "Look at me, Felicity. I want you to look at me." She obeyed without a word, gazing into his eyes, seeing emotions she wasn't sure she had read correctly. Unthinkable emotions.

Slowly, he started pushing inside her, her mouth hanging open for a breathless moan as her eyes fluttered close at the feeling of him and he stopped, speaking in a low throaty tone. "Look at me." He was close to giving up control.

Forcing her eyes to remain opened, she breathed through her mouth, her heated skin craving for more of him. The moment she locked her eyes with his, he once again started moving inside her, sliding and filling her inches by sweet inches completely, her hold on his shoulders growing stronger, her breath catching in her until he was fully seated inside her, body pressed to body. She could feel him completely. Feel his hard erection pulsing inside her, feel him stretching her walls, feel her own need for him. He was in no rush by all means. He stayed still even when she rocked her hips, causing a flash of pleasure invading her nerve-endings. Her own wetness made it so easy for him to move and yet, he remained unmoving, just breathing in collected breaths, looking into her eyes.

She pushed down on him again and he slid even deeper. "Oliver." She breathed, her own walls pulsating around him with want.

Pressing a quick kiss to her lips, he withdrew until only the tip of his cock remained inside her and thrust back again, tearing a cry out of her. He set up a slow torturing rhythm, thrusting in and out, building her higher just as slowly. He felt so damn good and yet no matter how satisfying his thrusts were, how each push made her breath hitch and blood boil, she knew he was holding back. She didn't want him to hold back. She wanted all of him.

Pulling him closer, she whispered into his ear. "Let go-oh-oo. Oliver."

"I don't want to hurt you." He grunted and she met him thrust by thrust, getting wetter with each slip of his cock even if she thought it was impossible.

"You can't." He pushed his hand to where her head was resting against the wall, and pulled her higher, filling her again, still not letting go of his control. "Let go."

He growled, pulling out and slipping back inside her with a new force and she cried out his name, digging her nails into his back. It seemed to finally make him snap because the next moment he plunged into her much faster, withdrawing before she could realize and pushing back again, the new rhythm turning her into a wriggling mess, her body fully flushed and pressed to his, her hard nipples meeting the hard surface of his chest with each one of his thrust, pleasure adding with every slide and she could feel herself getting closer. 

She wouldn't last long she was sure. Too much time had passed for her to put up for long. He took her earlobe into his mouth, nibbling and making her gasp whilst his hips kept pistoning into hers, his cock hitting the right spots in her and her mouth hung open, the sensation too much, too good.

He filled her again and again in a punishing tempo. In and out. In and out. With each plunge, his cock rubbed against her clit and she felt a knot of pleasure building up inside her, waiting to explode. As if sensing how close she was, he picked up his pace, and sucked on her neck, all sensation attacking her at once. She was so close. She just needed a little more push. He bent his leg and pushed upwards, taking her by surprise by the insanity.

The burn inside her flared higher and when he bit down on her, she exploded, the pent-up pleasure letting go, and she cried out his name, clutching her eyes shut, her walls clenching around him, milking him. His own rhythm faltered for a second as her orgasm rocked through her but he didn't stop, just rode out her pleasure.

She felt him tense up, his thrusts becoming more rapid and desperate as his mouth left her neck and he just rested his forehead on her shoulder, panting. A few more strokes later his own orgasm clashed through him and he spilled inside her, making her clench around him as an effect, his pace beginning to lose rhythm with each plunge. Her breathing evened out and heart stopped racing that quickly, as her hand drew small circles on his back, feeling the thin sheen of sweat on him as he himself stopped moving inside her semi-erect. He stayed still, simply inhaling and exhaling, coming down from his high.

"Я желаю вам понятый. Однажды ты будешь. Обещаю." He whispered as he planted one last kiss on her shoulder and moved away, pulling out of her and causing her to moan as he slid out. She didn't feel full. If anything this brief encounter only made her want more. Her insides pulsated, still longing for him as he set her on her feet. She couldn't believe it. She still wanted him like they hadn't just had sex.

She stayed in place, watching Oliver collect his scattered clothes and get dressed, not looking into her eyes. He handed her the dress she was wearing and she held it to her chest, clutching the garment between her fingers. Was he regretting sleeping with her? Did she do something wrong? Was he thinking of the other woman if there was one? Doubts flooded her mind as he buttoned up his shirt and took on his suit like nothing had happened.

Oliver turned to look at her, a sigh escaping his mouth as he righted the suit on him. "I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll come and get you later and then we will head to your apartment."

"And our previous convers-"

"I'm sorry. I really need to get going." With that he strode to the door and walked out of the loft, not sparing her another glance. Felicity felt her heart break again, her eyes filling with tears she couldn't control. She pulled on the dress, not bothering to waste time on the zipper as she took a step forward, her knees shaking with the movement. She had no idea what she had expected when he leaned down to kiss her but this was totally not the outcome she wished for secretly.

Walking on unsteady legs to where the couch was, she dropped to her knees in time as a sob wrecked her body. And he dared to tell her she was the one pushing him away. Her chest contracted with pain and she clenched the clothing above her heart, feeling as knifes pierced through her, her other free hand curling around her belly. She should have known. She had reasons for not talking to him for two weeks after everything but she had just let him blind her. Again. 

He hadn't changed. Not a bit.

He had never loved her just as she had assumed when she heard him decline his feelings that night. He was still acting up to make her believe she mattered to him.

But she didn't.

She meant nothing to him. She hadn't known before but now she did.

And she would not let him fool her thrice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Я желаю вам понятый. Однажды ты будешь. Обещаю. - I wish you understood. One day, you will. I promise.


	12. You'll Be Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hii :)  
> New chapter. Wasn't sure it would be out today because of the little technical *coughs* issue that had happened but here it is. It's a shorter chapter, with 3.7K words but the next one will be longer. Don't know what else to say about the new chapter. I'm very sorry if it feels a bit off, today was a draining day, emotionally speaking. Also, any mistake made is mine and will check and correct them as soon as possible. <3
> 
> By the way, I'm sorry for not putting the translation in the notes for the previous chapter. It's corrected now, though. Aaand comments from the previous chapter had not been forgotten! :) I'm going to answer them as soon as I can <3
> 
> Oh, and my gosh! JHDKSJsnkjds The story passed 1000 kudos with the last chapter! That's just wow. Like WOW *.* Thank you everyone. <3 For commenting, leaving kudos or just really, taking the time to read this story <33
> 
> P.S: There might be a FIOS update coming tomorrow.  
> PPS: The schedule will be posted soon. 
> 
> Thank you once more, and enjoy the new chapter! <33

"Felicity, wake up." She heard a voice close to her ear, tearing her from the land of peace where problems were chased away, where she could exist without pain, the constant part of her life. Knowing it was him but not caring she turned her head to the opposite direction of him, not wanting to face him. After what he had done she had no desire to be in the same room as him, let alone talk to him. Like hell she would!

A hand touched her shoulder and she jerked away instantly, eyes opening to see how far she needed to be from him to not feel the warmth of his body or his breath on her skin. Her heart and mind didn't want him anymore but her body still craved him. A look of hurt crossed his face at her reaction, the confusion once again settling inside the mingling emotions in the depth of her body. Why keep stimulating fake feelings when she obviously knew the truth?

She saw from the corner of her eye as he took a careful step forward, his body still hovering over hers despite the crouching position he was in as he held out his hand to touch her cheek and her head snapped up while she said only one word. "Don't."

Oliver pursued his lips but nonetheless respected the meaning behind that strong word by letting his arm fall beside his side.

"We need to talk." He said, tone dipped in a pinch of softness, hurt and anger. If he was angry at her then he could shove that feeling up in his ass. He had no right to be mad at her when he was yet again the one leaving the other. He had broken her heart at first, lied like she was just another stranger then shattered the remaining pieces of her healing heart once more.

"I know what you want to say and I don't need to hear it."

"Felicity-"

"No. You don't get to Felicity me now, hoping I would just pretend you didn't hurt me once again." She felt the fury heating up in her veins, the vortex of emotions being picked up by a new dose of wind.

"If you just let me explain-"

"No, Oliver. I don't care. I've had enough of your lame excuses to last another lifetime. I don't want to hear any more lies."

Watching his face close off at her words, she gazed down and stood up, ready to go back to her room and just forget everything that had occurred this morning. She knew that by turning around she would show him her bare back as she hadn't zipped up her dress, making it seem like she was doing it to catch his attention but right now, she couldn't care less. All she wanted to do was flee to her room and avoid him.

He caught her wrist, forcing her to face him, feeling the anger flare higher. "What lies, Felicity? I've never lied to you."

"And what are you doing right now?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard it right. You claim you are not lying but you do. It's a part of your element, just like hurting people."

The face he made then was like a punch in the heart but if she really thought it through, she wasn't wrong. He had lied to her so many times she wasn't sure she could count it. He lied when he told her that night he cared about her. He lied with his eyes (she had no idea how because her mother always told her the eye reflected one's soul), making her believe countless times he valued her. He lied the day they had their fight. And he was lying now as well. The list could go on for a while and she didn't even think about the times he had hurt her.

"It's the hormones talking, not you."

"Doesn't matter, because I meant what I've said. Now let go of me." She yanked her wrist from his grip, straightening her spine to walk away. She was more than ready to finish this conversation.

Not daring to look back and see him what her words might have caused, she strode to her room and locked the door behind her. Feeling the energy flying from her body, she sloped down on the mattress to take a moment to calm down. She felt bad even though she was right. She hated him for that and she hated herself for hurting him. He had hurt so many times in the past, with both his words and actions and yet, she was feeling awful for stating the truth. And for that, she hated herself even more.

One hand resting on her tummy, she rested her head against the wall, shutting out the world behind the door and letting herself savor the little minute alone with her growing baby. What she would give to finally hold the baby in her hands... With how time was running under her feet, she knew that day was closer than she liked to think but for her in that moment, it was still very far away. She couldn't imagine it, that was how far it was.

Would the baby be a girl? A boy? Would she be more happy for a girl or a boy? She honestly couldn't tell that. She hadn't thought of that before. A little heartbreaker prince or a little princess? To be sincere, as far as the baby was healthy beside these level of stresses and anxieties, she didn't care. If the baby was a girl, then so be it. She would have a tiny girl and she would be the happiest on the face of Earth. If she had a boy, then she would have the most handsome little boy and she would be the happiest. That brought another question to her mind.

Would the little one look like her or Oliver?

Ouch. Not the best idea.

Cursing herself mentally for thinking of him, she let out a sigh, feeling the unresting pain in her chest. She wanted all the hurt to go away and be replaced with happiness. Anything but hurt from him. She had had enough of that from the past weeks. Why did he have to be such an asshole sometimes?

Getting lost in thoughts, she stayed in her room until she was sure Oliver was not lurking in front of her door, waiting to catch her like a prey. Then, she ordered Italian, hoping he wouldn't be back by the time the food arrived. If he did, it meant awkward glances, tensed atmosphere with miles of unsaid words she had no energy to bear.

With everything going on, from the press to the attacks to Oliver, everything was finally taking a toll on her. She felt like her energy was drained from her, her body ached, mostly her chest that throbbed with an undying agony as reminder of her heart being broken again, and to be honest, she was exhausted. She hadn't had a normal weekend in months. Yes, Oliver might have been 'missing' before the second ultrasound but that did not equal to her having two days just for her. During those weekends, she had been driving herself crazy with thoughts of doubt about the baby and worries of her uncertain future with Oliver. Which she knew now at least she wouldn't get.

After what had happened, she wasn't sure how they would put their problems on a shelf to be the parents their child deserved. How would they have a normal, domestic life when they kept hurting each other? How would they raise the baby? It wouldn't be fair to bring the infant into a world where its parents kept arguing while danger lurked on every corner. They needed to find a solution.

Not now though. Her heart needed time to heal and she wouldn't be able to get through a conversation with him about their debatable future without breaking down in front of him. And that was something she couldn't allow herself. She couldn't let it show how much the whole situation affected her. How much it broke her and made her stressed.

The sound of ringing tore her out of her train of thought and she left the kitchen island to open the door. Food. Finally. She was very hungry. Unlocking the entrance of the loft, she saw a guy in his late twenties holding the bag of food she had ordered. Her stomach growled and she bit her lip, the urge to place a hand on her middle flaring up. She didn't though.

"Good afternoon, Miss. Here's everything you have ordered." She took the bag from him, handing him money she had slipped to the back of her bag when they had brought clothes from her apartment after finding her bedroom trashed.

"Thank you. Keep the change." She flashed a smile and watched as the delivery guy retreaded, then locked the door and walked back barefoot to her room.

Once she was settled, she took out the steaming food, sniffing its yummy smell and her stomach growled again. "I know, I know." With that she started eating while looking out of the window. She had never actually watched the view from her room. It was nice, very nice. This building wasn't as high as Oliver's office at QC but the sight was still very much pretty. She could actually see next to the many buildings the green trees of city park and of course the logo of QC as well. She could bet everything was more beautiful at night with all the lights casting the city into a tiny dance of luminosity with cars speeding through the streets. While the building's height wasn't as much as the building of her workplace, the people still looked like little ants. For some reason, she wanted to giggle at that.

Maybe pregnancy hormones were really messing with her head. Though what she had said to Oliver was true. She was standing by that statement. She didn't even have to list her reasonings again.

She was in the middle of eating, enjoying the different tastes when he knocked on her door. Felicity didn't get up to welcome her into her room. No, she stayed in place and continued eating like nothing had happened.

"Felicity, I'm s-"

"Go away, Oliver. I told you, I don't care."

"We need to talk."

"You have already told me that today but no. My opinion hadn't changed and it won't."

"Fine. You won't be in your room forever anyway." That didn't sound very Oliver-ish but then once again, she didn't care. She ate what was left of the food, then drank water, feeling immediately happier. She had lost weight in the past weeks out of worrying when she should have gained and it was time for her to eat properly.

It was only a few hours later when she peeked her head outside her room. She couldn't tell if she was truly expecting him to wait in front of her door or be somewhere else but what had mattered was that he was working out judging by the voices he made. Looking down at her feet, she shook her head a tad, trying her best to avoid her thoughts of him sweating by working his way up that ladder thingy. Knowing it was useless, she exhaled and was about to turn back when her eyes caught a glimpse of something.

It was her laptop bag.

She took a hold of it and locked herself inside, hoping down the bed to reveal her laptop.

He had brought her precious baby and the papers she needed for work the following day. He had been in her apartment despite the small 'quarrel' they had and brought her the laptop, its charger and mouse. If she wasn't that hurt and pissed, she would have gotten up to thank him. Now she just thanked him in her mind then booted up her baby. She hadn't been away from a keyboard for long.

For two days actually, but that was a very long time if you had asked her.

She could finally work on catching the bad guys. She had the key to maybe end a part of the nightmare she was in. This had been so surprising she actually had no idea where to start tracking the bad guys which was another surprise but she couldn't be blamed when she was an emotional mass. Okay, maybe that was a big strong word to use. She meant, emotionally unstable. But totally not the point.

The point was getting the attackers. She cracked her fingers and let out a hiss at the tiny level of pain it brought. "It looked too good in movies."

Maybe she could start by tracing the messages Fake Oliver had sent. Yup, she named that person Fake Oliver because her phone showed it was him while really, it wasn't. Though, she should be glad, shouldn't she? The person or people who had been in her house might have just attacked if she was at home and well, she didn't want to think of that would have meant. Shuddering, she concentrated on the messages, hoping to get a result before midnight. She had work the following day and in other cases, she would have stayed up all night without a second thought but since she was pregnant she needed to rest as much as possible in hope to balance the number of sleeping hours with the level of stress she had. Currently, her stress level was higher than the hours of sleep she got a night. Which was bad, scratch that _horrible_. 

And woah.

She needed to concentrate. 

* * *

She had no idea when she fell asleep or managed to pass out but she was sure she didn't put her laptop to the desk or took off her glasses or put herself under the blanket. Which meant Oliver had been in her room during the night. It both angered and frustrated her. If he had been in her room it meant he had somehow unlocked her door without her waking up (which she knew was stupid, because picking locks were probably children's game for him) and disrespected her privacy. Again. Despite that a part of her was glad he didn't let her sleep on her laptop or with her glasses on. Or for the fact that he had covered her with the green fluffy blanket since it wasn't really warm in her room and she didn't want to catch a cold when she had successfully avoided it while standing toe to toe with him in the rain. 

But she was still a bit angry because:

1\. He had been in her room when she told him to stay away.

2\. He had been in her room when she told him to stay away.

Okay, she knew these reasons were the same but she just couldn't help it. She didn't like the thought of him being in the same room as her after what had happened the morning before. Who knew how long had he been watching her before he decided to retreat to his own bedroom? Plus, why the caring once more? Was he on some kind of does-not-give-a-crap pill one moment then on care-like-you-are-running-out-of-time pill the next? Seriously, what did he it? To say she was puzzled would be an understatement. She wasn't just puzzled. She was freaking perplexed by his actions. One moment he was hurting her then it the other he covered her with a comfy blanket and kissed her hair. Though she couldn't possibly know the last part, she just assumed he did. 

But back to reality! She was currently brushing her teeth, getting ready for a new exhausting day. Felicity wasn't sure what she had to expect once she arrived at her workplace because they hadn't really gotten the chance to talk properly on what would happen from then. She just hoped he didn't do anything behind her back to piss her off. Like moving her office next to his or making her his secretary. If he did, Bratva Captain or not, he had to start praying for his life.

She doubted he would do it after yesterday, but he was Oliver. He could be Olympic winner in the category 'make bad decisions.' Maybe he even was, he just hid the trophy from her.

Putting aside the joke, she put her hair up in her usual ponytail before turning to get dressed. She had zero idea what to wear because other than the two dresses she brought she had nothing else to wear that could hide her growing bump. Instead of being locked up in her room nearly all day like Rapunzel she should have just went out to buy herself clothes, but no she hadn't thought of that before. Huffing out an irritated sigh, she pulled out the unused dress from the bag and took it on, playing with the zipper for a few minutes before she won. Looking at the mirror, she fought the urge to just bit her lip. 

The way the dress was hugging her curves she was basically screaming pregnant.

"Frack."

Perhaps, she could hold the papers she had to bring that day in a way that hid her nicely curved belly. She would leave when work day was way over and she was the only one left in the building, head home and order some clothes online for the next few days until she could go shopping. What she would wear tomorrow... Of that she wasn't sure but that was the problem of the new day. For now, she had to get through Monday at first.

Gosh, she wished the gossips would finally stop once and for all.

Applying a light makeup, she left her room with everything she needed, gaining strengths to survive the day.

Thankfully, Oliver had already left by the time she had to go to work and thus she hadn't needed to stumble out a few awkward words. That was if she could even have anything to say. She was still hurt and puzzled. Having that mix might not lay good with her lack of filter when it came to talking. And an epic rambling was exactly what she didn't need that morning. Being thankful again, she left the loft, starting a new week of mouse and cat game with Oliver as well.

* * *

It had actually worked for one week.

Her avoiding him. Or as much as possible, given that they were in fact, living together.

Sweet Jesus Crackers, she still couldn't believe she had avoided him for a week, (okay five days to be exact, but that was a workweek, so...) just like she couldn't wrap her mind around living with him. It was surreal, really. It seemed impossible and maybe Oliver let her believe she could once more ignore or steer clear of him before, like in the case of the second ultrasound, he stalked up to her and force something out of her. She wasn't sure what exactly. A five-minute conversation or forgiveness. She couldn't imagine forgiving him though. How could she after he literally left her when he was done fucking her? Okay, that might be a bit overreacted but she was pregnant. Slight overreactions were accepted.

How did she manage to avoid him for a whole week even though they were together? As in living together not the other kind of together. 

Good question!

It was actually easier than she had thought. At work just like she had done earlier, made sure she always had some company and while the people kept the rumors alive behind her back, they had truly surprised her when they managed to be professional. But, back to more important topics. Like how she stayed clear of him when they were ho- at the loft. She would not call it that. Nope. Never.

He had been weird the whole week. Even distant maybe and hence, when they were ho- at the loft, if she had locked herself in her room, she was left alone. He hadn't bothered her. Or at least not when she was awake, because everyday she had woken up with the blanket securing her warmth, her laptop and glasses resting on the desk. Hint, it was not her who did those actions but him. In the mornings though he was nowhere to be seen.

The reason why he seemed weird besides keeping his distance and still taking care of her at nights, was that she knew he was lurking. She was certain he followed her with a car everywhere she went, whether it was to buy ice cream after work or leaving the garage of QC or driving herself to work. He was always on her tail. He hadn't said a word just watched over her like her very own Guardian Angel, which brought up a question inside her. Did he have a clue on who was behind the attacks or just made extra precautions? 

Anyway, in the past week, her bump became more visible, she had new clothes that were capable of hiding the little baby growing each day, and she had a lead on the attackers. It wasn't a big deal, because it turned out to be fake as the sender had mirrored its action, misleading the signal from its original post but at least she had something to work on next. She knew what trick that person had tried to use and now, it was only a matter of time before she got the real location. 

But, but, back to reality! She had just dropped the purse on the table in her own chamber when she heard the click of the door. She swirled around only to be met by his gaze which shouted hurt, confusion, anger and hatred. She swallowed, watching as he locked them inside while not taking his eyes away from hers.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk."

"Oliver-"

"No. We are not leaving this room until we've talked."

Yes, she managed to avoid him for complete five days.


	13. The Story Of Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :)  
> New chapter is here! And it's over 4.7k words! :) Now, I'm a bit nervous about this *hides* but I know you have been waiting for this for a while and I hope it was worth the wait. *bites nails*
> 
> Also, I know, I know. Comments. I will answer them all soon. Hopefully next week. :)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the new update! :)

When Felicity had been a little girl, she had felt safe, cherished and loved every time her father tucked her to bed and gave a kiss to her forehead. She had always looked forward to those moments because she got to spend a little time with her father who had a busy life. They had a routine that had not been broken for years. Her mother would tell her to finish up with homework or what she was doing at the moment and get ready for bed. She would run to the bathroom and with the help of her mom, she would shower, brush her teeth and excitedly wait in bed for her father. He had always arrived in the exact time. 9 PM sharp. Not a minute later, not a minute earlier. At 9, he would appear with a book under his armpit, walk to where she was lying under the blankets, sit down on the edge of the bed and read. Everyday he had read something different, something new. Sometimes when he didn't have time to pick a book he would tell her the adventures he had endured when he was a child.

She had always loved those moments.

After finishing the tale of the night, he would tell her all the amazing stuff that was waiting for her to happen, all the escapades, all the dreams that would come true. He would tell her how much he loved her and her mother then plant a soft kiss on her little head and leave the room for her to sleep in peace. That had been the routine that worked for many, many years.

Until suddenly it didn't.

It was merely another day, nothing out of ordinary, nothing exciting to tell, when she had been lying in bed staring at the painted stars on her ceiling. She had watched the little spots dance in front of her while waiting with ablaze thrill for his father to stroll into her room with a tiny smile. At first she had thought he needed extra time to find a new book, that everything was alright. She simply listened to the clock on the wall and tried to bury the sudden attacking nervousness.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

Every new tick the meaning of another passing second. Another second spent with her father still absent.

_Tick. Tick. tick._

With each transient moment, her anxiety grew. The logical part of her mind knew he would come. Her heart told her he would come. She trusted him. He would be there with her in any second. But what if he wasn't? What if he decided it was time to put an end to their nightly tale-telling? No. He would come. She was certain.

_Tick._

Maybe he was trying to come up with something exciting to tell.

_Tick._

Maybe he got a surprise for her.

_Tick._

Maybe he had something to discuss with her mother before he would see her.

Little heart clenching, she looked at the clock, her chest contracting when she read the time. It was 9:15. He had never been late. Never. Not a minute, not a second. Breath quickening, anxiousness growing, she stared at the door, waiting for it to open.

It didn't.

Her body filled with nervousness, fright and anxiety. She had never been that nervous, that afraid. It was a different emotion than she had felt before or even after when she grew older. It was different from when she was waiting to see if she had gotten the scholarship or not. It was different then when she found out she was pregnant. That kind of nervousness flooded her mind, her veins and her heart, tainting the rational thoughts, tainting the calmness.

It wasn't panic and yet it had been more exhausting, more powerful. She was afraid and nervous. Of the unknown.

Just like now.

She had no idea what would happen. She had no idea what was to happen in the room. Nothing. And it was scaring.

It was making her feel the same emotion she had when her father had broken her trust, when he had disappeared without uttering another word. She had no idea why she was feeling that. She shouldn't. It would be just a conversation, like every other they had had in the past weeks. That was what she told herself and yet, the tremor traveled down her spine, her lips parted and trembled slightly as the indistinguishable feeling from that day inundated her whole being.

She stared into his eyes, his blue, blue eyes piercing her soul, looking into her like he never had before. He controlled her breathing, he controlled the rise and fall of her chest with his intense look. In that moment, he just simply controlled her body with his fixed deem. He had her pinned to the spot while her insides rebelled and shook with that choking feeling.

Taking a step closer to her, her fingers quaked faintly, the nervousness in her chest contracting the muscles beneath her skin. She couldn't understand what was happening to her, why it was happening. That scared her more. Oliver motioned for her to sit down, and she followed the path of his hand with her eyes, breaking the connection somewhat.

This moment was unavoidable. It was coming one way or another, sooner or later. That did not mean she was fully prepared.

Inhaling a comforting take of air, she sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her hands in her lap and fidgeting her fingers nervously. She had nothing to say she hadn't already. If he wanted to talk he had to be the one to do the job this time, not her. A part of her knew he owned that to her, just like she owned him to listen but a bigger part of her wanted to flee. To cancel the upcoming conversation.

The mystery of the unknown never had good effects on her.

Staying quiet, she watched Oliver take a seat in front of her, keeping the distance between them, to which she was grateful. Deep in her bones, she knew this moment was a now or never moment for him. She could see it from the way he looked, the way he sat. He was angry, even beyond that, but she could still grasp the slight jitteriness in his eyes. Which never meant good things. She wasn't sure if she had seen Oliver nervous before. Nearly every other emotion from him could be crossed from the list but he being nervous? Absolutely not. She was just mistaken. It must have been her own nervousness reflected in his blue orbs.

Seconds ticking, she slipped her lower lip between her teeth, biting down hard to keep herself composed and concentrated.

The tension hovered in the air, its weight resting on her shoulders, making it feel like something was trying to push her down. Straightening her spine, she took a deep breath, rubbing her fingers together. It was a habit she had taken over from Oliver over the time. When something was tense, uncertain, he had always rubbed his fingers the way she did now.

"Do you want to talk or just stare at me for the rest of the day? Not that I would mind, or wait, I would, because I have many things to do and you staring the whole time would be invading and even creepy. And it makes it sound like I have something private scheduled. Which I don't. I just need to, you know, get back to tracking bad guys and I also want to shower and eat..." She trailed off, not seeing any reactions from him. He merely continued sitting there motionless, like she had been quiet the whole time. "I'm serious, Oliver. If you want to talk, you have to talk. I already told you everything I needed you to know."

She heard him inhale deeply, his eyes still fixated on her. He was quiet. So typical of him. He came to her room, saying they would stay there until they talked and now he was sitting on the bed, no sign of him speaking anytime soon. Looked like they would stay in that room for eternity which was bad because she had wanted to experience a handful of things in her life. Looking away from him, her glance wandered to her phone and she suddenly wondered if he would snap out of where he was if she got herself busy with her phone.

"I'm sorry."

Head snapping back toward his direction, she opened her mouth to reply. "Were you apologizing to me or were you talking to the walls?"

His lips curled up a tad before that tiny smile disappeared again, making the tension and tiredness evident on his face. When was the last time he got more than six hours of sleep? "I didn't hurt those walls."

"You did more than just hurt me." She muttered under her breath.

He shut his eyes for a second and exhaled. She could feel the regret in his body fueling the tank of guilt on fire in his mind even from that distance. "I know and I'm sorry." Felicity nodded leisurely, looking down at her hands, not knowing how to continue.

"Felicity, I-" He stopped, probably trying to gather his thoughts. She knew it must have been hard for him. He wasn't the best at expressing his feelings, but honestly, who was good at that? "I know I made mistakes but I want us to try again."

"There has never been an us."

"Don't say that." His eyes closed, a look of hurt crossing his face before he continued. "Just listen. Please."

"Fine."

"I know that you are hurt, that I hurt you in the past but I want to start from a blank page. We are having a baby, we can't keep ignoring us."

"I don't know, Oliver." She honestly didn't know. He couldn't just possibly ask her to forget everything and trust him blindly again. Look where that got her before. No. She couldn't. Not until she knew the truth. Then maybe, she would consider giving him one final chance. But that was it. No more heart-pulling game. If he screwed up then, she would not give him a fourth or fifth chance.

"You don't have to right away. I'm just asking for a chance. To show you I'm serious I'm willing to answer any questions you have."

"And you are going to answer them? Really answer them?"

"Sincerely."

"What's your hidden agenda here?" Maybe it wasn't the fairest of her to ask this and it might sound a bit rude, but she honestly doubted he didn't want anything. Besides the growing not-so-little-peanut.

"I don't have one, Felicity."

"In one moment, you make me think you care about me then a second later you push me away. Clearly, you want something besides the baby. What is it?"

"You. I just want you."

How could she function when he said that? More importantly, how dare he say that? He had pushed her away multiple time and last week walked out on her. How could she believe him? Nonetheless, her heart skipped a bit at his words and for that she was kind of mad at herself. It showed how much she still cared. She couldn't let herself care until she was sure she could trust him completely. Maybe not even after that. Only the future held the answer to that.

"You can't keep saying that. Oliver, actions are louder than words could ever be so I'm asking again. What's your secret agenda here?"

"I don't have one. I swear."

"Fine. Then what about the other woman?"

"There's no other woman." Yup, and her mother was dating a billionaire for twenty years and her father had never left.

"Yes, there is. She was there at that night. You were telling her you don't care about anyone else, including me, just her."

"It's complicated."

"Oliver, you said you would answer."

"I know but I can't answer that one."

"Why? Because it's true? Because that's where your secret agenda hides? Is she the reason you ran away after sleeping with me last week? Because you were feeling guilty?"

"No. She had nothing to do with that. I simply had to go take care of something."

"And that couldn't have waited another two minutes until you told me you would be back? Do you know how I felt when you just walked out? I felt like you played me again. That you were so evil, you made me think once again you care or have the slightest chance you care only to have it crushed. Again. Do you know how that felt?" She felt anger rise in her body, her heart clenching at the memory of seeing him retreating from her through the door.

"I'm sorry. I didn't stop to think what you would feel then."

"No. Sorry doesn't cover it. Tell me the truth. Did she have something to do with you walking out?"

"I'm telling you, Felicity. No."

"Then why was it so urgent?"

"Because you made me realize something."

"Oh, it's so much better to know you were thinking about something else while we were having sex."

"That's not-"

"No, let's not forget our main topic. Why can't you answer my question about the woman?"

"I told you, it's complicated."

"Oliver, you are the only one who thinks the truth is complicated. Clearly, you are not ready to be honest and have this conversation." With that she got up, ready to finish up yet another failure when he stood up as well, blocking her path. "Oliver." She said through gritted teeth, hands forming fists beside her sides.

He held up his hands as a sign of not letting her through and Felicity inhaled sharply, trying to calm herself. "Felicity, we are not done, here."

"You want me to stay and not walk out? Then tell me the whole truth. No excuses, no lies. Just the truth. I think I deserve to know why you crushed my heart for the first time."

"Sit. Please." Eyeing the bed and him back and forth, she gave up and sat back down to her previous position, trying to forget the anger. She needed to be calm. For the sake of the baby as well. Being angry would do nothing good. Placing a hand on her belly, she stroked her covered bump, a tranquil feeling flooding her. She saw Oliver's eyes flickering to where her hand was and saw something cross his face before he masked it.

"You shouldn't need to worry about this."

"Why, is she connected to the attacks?"

"In a way, yes." He sat in front of her, the gap they had previously smaller.

"What do you mean?"

"After the first time we were attacked, I noticed something." He traced her neck with his fingers where strong hands were holding her then, trying to seep the life out of her. She had no bruises from that night anymore, no signs of being choked, just memories and yet, he caressed the once hurt skin with his knuckles like he could still see it. "The Mansion had been bugged. Every room had at least one small camera, watching our movements. That is the reason they knew you were there that day. They saw everything through lenses that I hadn't even noticed for a long time, just when we had been already attacked once. When I realized the organization have been watched the entire time, I couldn't just destroy those cameras. I needed to make them believe we didn't know. To make them think they were a step ahead." He stopped, his eyes wandering to where he stroked the line of her neck.

"Everything stayed the same. Only the most trustiest men knew what was going on. That's when it registered to me. What if they don't want information but something else? Or rather, someone else. The night during the attack, a man said something and from that I knew they were after you somehow."

"What did he say?"

"Don't make me repeat it."

Felicity nodded, sensing how even the thought discomforted him. "If they wanted me, what was the purpose of drugging me and nearly chocking me to death?"

"I think they wanted to see my reaction. They wanted to see if you were the weak spot for me as they thought and for that they hurt you."

"Oliver." She mumbled, hands aching to touch his arm at the evident suffer in his voice.

"I don't know why. I don't know the reason just that whatever is in the plans, involves you. And that scared me. More than I could ever admit it."

"So you did what you think was right."

"Yes."

"I don't understand one thing. How does the woman is connected to all of this? I know I sound jealous, which I'm not, I just want to know. Mysteries and I were never big friends as you probably noticed by now. I'm not implying you should have noticed it, I'm just saying that you might have. It's not a problem if you didn't, I just-"

"Felicity. take a breath."

"Right. Sorry."

"When I figured out that you were the target, I knew I had to make them believe you were just another woman whom I fucked. My reaction to you being hurt was intense and for that, I needed to do something that was more intense. That's when Sara came into the picture. She is a friend who happened to be in town that time. I told her what I was planning to do and she helped me. I couldn't tell you because your reaction wouldn't have been the same and I thought it was better for you if you just cut ties with me and forgot the whole situation. She wrote what I had to say while I invited you to the Mansion. I knew it was wrong, even she knew it and tried to talk me out of it, but I had to do what I had to in order to protect you."

She could still remember that day like it had happened the day before. Maybe she would remember that day for the rest of her lives. She was actually very happy when she had received his message. After the attack and the night they had spent together, a part of her was afraid he would try to drive her away. Of course back then she couldn't have known what would happen. But, back to where she was, she had arrived at the Mansion with her heart in her throat. For her, that was the day she wanted to tell him she wanted more than where they were at that moment. At first she thought she would have the chance, that the night would follow the path she had hoped for it to follow. She had met him in the living room, he poured her some wine and then he led her into an unfamiliar room and started kissing a path from her jaw to her collarbone. She was hopeful. Nervous. And happy. He was working on the button of her jeans while sucking on her skin when a female voice had called his name. For a second she thought... she couldn't remember what actually crossed her mind. Oliver simply pulled away and told her to wait he would be back in a minute. She did wait and she wasn't eavesdropping, she truly wasn', she just happened to hear what they were speaking because being the idiots, they were standing in front of the door. She could still remember more clearly than she would like what was being said.

_"Ollie, you promised you would spend the night with me."_

_"And I will, just let me take care of someone at first. I'll tell her to go home and then we can go."_

_"Do you still love me?"_

_"Of course. You are all I could have ever asked for."_

_"Then why are you with someone else?"_

_"It was just a moment of weakness. A mistake. I promise it won't happen again. Please forgive me, you know how much you mean to me. I love you and you know that. "_

_"Prove it, tell me. Do you care about the person inside?"_

_"No. You are all I care about. I don't care about others, they mean nothing,_ she _means nothing, just please forgive me. I can't lose you."_

At this point she just couldn't listen anymore. She was just a secret affair that could be thrown away at any minute. With tears in her eyes, she opened the door, seeing Oliver pushed to the wall, the woman burying her hands under his shirt, smiling up at him as he smiled down. He was about to lean down, probably to kiss her, when he spotted her. He had even forgotten she was left inside the room. She had run then, as fast as her legs could move. When they were out of her vision she didn't care about holding back the tears anymore. She had just let the drops slide down her face. Of course, Oliver had sprinted after her but she just couldn't take it. She had snapped at him and he defended himself, telling her it wasn't his fault. They had their yelling match for ten minutes before she had enough and simply drove away.

Looking back, what Oliver had said made sense. If she really thought back those sentences were truly not Oliver-like ones. It was too sappy and she doubted if he had loved someone he would cheat. But clearly, they made a good job making her believe it was real. They successfully managed to crush her heart and that was probably an A+ in his book if his intention was to truly make those who had watched the stream believe she was just another one of his women he fucked.

Gosh, she felt embarrassed and like a fool. She had let herself be mistaken by him because she didn't think him and her could ever be together.

Another thought crossed her mind and she opened her mouth to let it out. "Let me get this straight, you thought it would be better to show everyone you didn't care instead of asking me to trace back the signal to where the feed goes? Oliver Jonas Queen, you are the biggest fool I've ever met." After her, as it turned out.

"Felicity, the best hacker in our team couldn't do that."

"I'll try my hardest not to take this very offensive. You really think I would not be able to do that?"

"No, I know you. I believe you could have done it, but I wanted you far from the Bratva. I still do."

"And Sara? She could have been targeted instead of me, why is her life worth less than mine?"

"She is a part of the mob. Her life is in constant danger and she can take care of herself. Я не знаю, во что бы превратился мне если что-то произойдет для вас."

"You know very well it's not fair to use another language I can't understand. Who knows, maybe you just told me I look like a whale who fattens each day."

"I would never say that."

A heavy but comfortable silence fell on them, gazes locked, bodies not moving.

This wasn't what she had thought would happen when they talked. She expected lots and lots of yelling, hurtful words and tears. This... this was a pleasant surprise.

"Now what?" She asked, breaking the small silence.

"I don't know, but I do know two things. The first is, I will do everything to keep you two safe."

"And the second thing?"

"You are not ready to hear that. All you have to know is I do care about you and I'm sorry for hurting you. I'll do everything to make it up for you for the rest of my life if I have to."

"Can I try something?"

"Yes."

She sat closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulders, while staring into his eyes. She wouldn't admit it but she could watch his blue eyes all day. She could just get lost in them and not even notice how much time have passed. Leaning closer to him, her heart picked up the beat, thundering violently against her chest. Would the pain he caused be torn into pieces? Could she forgive him and just get lost in him? Was he telling her the truth? She knew the answer to that. It was written into his eyes. It had been written into his eyes the whole time.

Stopping when there was only an inch between them, her eyes fluttered close, just breathing in the same air as he did, taking the courage to do the final step. She was certain he wouldn't close the distance. No, he was waiting for her to make up her mind if she truly wanted that. He was giving her an out in case she changed her mind. The problem was, she didn't know. Should she give him one final chance? Blood rushing in her ears, she felt her skin heat up, goosebumps breaking out on her skin when she felt his breath on her lips. She wanted this. Him. Them.

Her heart was bruised and yet, it was screaming at her to just kiss him. There would be no turning back though. She knew it in her bones. This small moment would change everything. Could she risk her heart for a third time? Did she want to?

Yes.

Yes, she did.

Decision made, she slowly closed the gap, feeling his chapped but otherwise so, so soft, warm lips against hers, her entire body heaving at the sensation. The kiss wasn't about passion, possession or hunger. No, it was about a new chance, a new starting. It wasn't rushed. They took their time, the kiss dictating the melody of her heart as it pounded inside her, feeling locked emotions breaking to the surface. She was right. There was no turning back now.

A pleasant and warm feeling blossomed inside her, spreading through her veins like a drug, making her feel happy. The kiss stayed slow like they had all the time in the world and she felt his hand cup her cheek, his thumb drawing small circles, the warmth of his skin mixed with the feels of his lips made her heart bang harder. She felt content. If it was possible she would stay in his arms all day just kissing him like that.

His tongue licked her lip and she sighed, the swirling emotions inside her with his presence mingling in her thumping heart.

When they ran out of air, she slowly pulled back, resting her forehead on his with her eyes closed, just breathing in small intakes of air. She couldn't name what she was feeling but for now she didn't have to. She would worry or realize later.

"Oliver."

"Hmm?" Felicity pulled back completely, locking her gaze with his. She saw without looking down, how his lips were a shade close to red because of the lipstick she had worn for that day and she smiled a bit before focusing. This was a serious matter. She needed him to answer just as seriously and honestly as possible.

"Can I trust you with my heart this time?"

"Yes, you can trust me."

"Let's say I believe you. What's the guarantee that you won't just hurt me again? No offense by the way."

"I will do everything to avoid that but if I do end up hurting you, you are free to kick my ass."

"Oh, of that you don't have to worry. I will totally kick your ass if you dare to hurt me again." He huffed and leaned down, pecking her lips once, before pulling completely away. He stood up, holding out his hand for her to take.

"You mentioned something about eating. Come on, I will make you dinner."

She knew not everything was resolved with this conversation, but for now it was enough. Felicity smiled, accepting his offer and placing her smaller hand in his. "I don't think I'll ever regret this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Я не знаю, во что бы превратился мне если что-то произойдет для вас = I don't know what would become of me if something were to happen to you.


	14. Take A Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-hiii! :)  
> Here's the new chapter with 4.8K words. Stuff happens, especially towards the end. I'm feeling very satisfied with this chapter so hopefully you will like it as well. :)
> 
> About the schedule and upcoming chapters... With this ending it's a bit rude to leave this like that but RL is a pain in the ass sometimes. I have an exam in the second week of November and up until then there won't be a new chapter. I'm sorry for that. After that exam I'll have more time, less pressure and both Pacing and FIOS will be updated every week. At least one of the stories if something comes up. The schedule will be posted then as well.
> 
> As for comments, every single one will be answered. I do read them but that does not always grant time to answer them. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and as always, let me know what you think! :)

It had been one week since the talk. One week since they had lain out their problems and talked. One week that had been both pleasant and puzzling.

She didn't know what to think of them anymore. What were they? She couldn't call themselves two people dating each other because they hadn't done anything that could summarize that. She couldn't call themselves a couple because they weren't one. Felicity truly had no idea what they were. During that one week they hadn't had the time to talk about them. Was there even a them or just a passing conversation that implied they might become something?

Don't get her wrong, Oliver had done nothing that could prove her he had changed his mind or regretted being open with her. Quite the opposite. She could easily think of him as a very attentive boyfriend but truth be told he wasn't her boyfriend. Or was he? She didn't know. Did she wish? Maybe. She trusted him and she trusted him when he had said she could trust him with her heart but a part of her still doubted it. A part of her was warning her every opportune moment to be aware because this might not turn out the way she wished. It wouldn't be the first time after all.

Time.

She just needed time. Time to see whether he would realize he didn't really want her and break her again. Time to see whether they would become more than what they were at the moment. Time for herself to truly think whether she could risk herself for him once more. She did tell him she was giving him one final chance but did he really earn it? Did he have the right to try fix things or not anymore?

And why was she suddenly thinking about all of this? Shouldn't she be happy she didn't have to get up with a constrict chest and pain attacking her nerves every day? Shouldn't she be grateful?

Maybe the week had been too good to be true and that explained her sudden worries and doubts. Were she to see someone in her place she would be yelling at the person to wait for things to play out. But she was who she was and these concerns couldn't be stopped only with time.

She was just being cautions. 

"Felicity?" His voice, like a spell, entered her body, her chest heaving, eyes fluttering close. She liked the way he had said her name. Scratch that. She  _loved_  hearing him call her name. She loved how he could say it differently, representing what he was thinking and feeling. Loved how his voice became softer, telling her an endless message with only one word. Her name. 

"I'm coming." She answered, looking at herself in the mirror for the last time. One hand resting on her belly, her gaze wandered down, the feeling of warmth spreading through her veins at seeing her covered middle, the red color of her dress a deep contrast against her hand. At the twelfth week in her pregnancy, she felt really good. She didn't have morning sicknesses like so many women claimed to have and she never felt dizzy, except for that one time in the Mansion. She considered herself very lucky. In a few days time she might not be able to see her feet from her tummy which meant her baby was developing normally day by day. So really, she felt very lucky now even with the gained weights. It was only a small price to pay for a gift like that.

Heaving a sigh, she turned around and walked out of the room, seeing Oliver leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pocket, his ankles crossed, a small smile decorating his already way too handsome face. Not that she complained about him being too hot. Nope, she liked his face the way it was. From the mole near his mouth to the stubble to his piercing blue eyes. Blue eyes that could control a lot, like the air around him. Eyes that could make people bow in front of him because its intensity. Eyes that could make people quaver in fear. Eyes that were currently searching for hers, holding her captive.

Stopping a few feet from him, she felt a grin blossom on her face at the sight of him, his own lips curling into a bigger smile. Doubts long forgotten, he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead, her heart playing a drum roll in her chest. She felt happy. More than she did in the past weeks even with the lingering questions at the back of her mind. She couldn't explain it why when not everything was resolved. There were many issues needed to be solved. Like catching the attackers, dealing with the press and getting ready for the arrival of the baby. But for now, in that moment, she focused on the feel of his lips on her skin, on the bliss of that jiffy, savoring it for darker minutes.

Oliver pulled back, wrapping his fingers around hers to lead them down the stairs to the kitchen. He had cooked them dinner and she could feel the scent of the tastes hovering in the air, attacking her nostrils and making her mouth water. During that one week, he had always cooked and packed something for her to eat while at work. It scared her how much he knew her without even trying. He knew how she could get lost in whatever she was doing and forget time and hence eating and to prevent anything bad from happening he had sent her messages that would snap her out of her world of coding every day. 

Gazing down at their joined hands, Felicity had no idea why she started doubting things in the bathroom. 

He had proved how caring he could be with small actions. Like packing the food, listening to her ramble about problems, making sure she had everything she needed even in that little time they got to spend together because of the hectic week they had had to face and most importantly he didn't try to force anything on her. And she wasn't talking about kissing or having sex - not that they did any of that - but she meant the oncoming problem with work and the press. Without making decisions for her, he simply let her share her own ideas, mix them with his and come up with something that was good for both of them. When he had agreed she was seriously taken aback. Where was the Oliver she had gotten to know in the past months? The commanding person, leaving room for no other decision. It was like someone had replaced him with Oliver 2.0.

She literally couldn't keep the gasp within herself when he had said she was right. He had actually went along with her plan. So, they had agreed that until she was convenient with it, she would work at QC in her own office - that was the important part - and after a while she would work from the Mansion where security was crawling like workers in a beehive. The last part was actually his idea. She was confused at first because hello, they were attacked there thrice.  _Thrice_. But, Oliver had reasoned that she would be alone at the loft and he was not comfortable knowing that while the Mansion had people whom he trusted and could keep her safe if something were to happen. Or at least until he got there himself and rescued her. That actually made sense. And she could maybe update the security system and try to work on a lead on the attackers in a different approach.

The kitchen came into view, knocking her out of the world of numerous train of thoughts, her eyes wandering to the scene in front of her, heart clenching with an emotion she wasn't ready to face yet. There were two plates opposite each other, with the steaming food in the middle, candles illuminating the otherwise lightless place, basking the room into a romantic mood. Who knew he could be such a romantic person at his heart?

"I figured we could use a little time to eat and just talk like normal people." He said, his voice soft and maybe nervous a tad? She wasn't quite sure.

Not finding good words, she nodded and took a seat, observing as Oliver moved to the other side where the kitchen was, watching the muscles flex and relax under the fabric of his shirt. He was wearing simple clothes and yet, the sight was enough to wish they could skip to a different kind of dessert.

He opened the fridge and took out something she couldn't see. Slopping down on the chair he grabbed her plate and loaded the hot food on it, her eyes moving back and forth between the movement of his arms and face. He seemed relaxed, not worrying about a possible danger hopping out from a secret hole in the wall. She liked seeing him like that. It was scary when he was on the edge, his face clear of emotions, eyes cold and muscles tensed to an impossible point. This, this was much better and she liked that she was partly responsible for his calmed posture. 

He set the plate in front of her and she smiled, blue meeting blue orbs, capturing her breath, making her heart race. "Thank you." 

Smiling as a response, he loaded food on his own plate and they ate in silence, the air not heavy with awkwardness but rather with the domesticity of coziness. She was grateful for the comforting silence. It showed and proved what she already knew. They didn't need words to understand each other. They didn't need words to fill in the empty space. No, they could get along in a nice silence because their movements and eyes said more than words could ever confess.

She watched as he gulped the pasta, her eyes dawdling to his exposed neck and back to his mouth, a different kind of hunger flooding her, the sudden wave of lust making her skin heat. She had no idea if that was because of her kindling hormones waiting to set everything ablaze or just the man itself having this affect on her. As her skin heaved and flushed a deep reddish color, her nipples hardened under the soft garment, she couldn't care. She just needed to feel that mouth on her, feel those muscly arms hold her in place as he sucked on her combusted flesh, leaving his marks on her, claiming her, making her his.

As if sensing something was up to her, Oliver looked up, the light casting his face in a nice tone, his eyes seeing straight through her as her heart thundered loudly, making her question whether he could hear it or not.

He raised an eyebrow at her, challenge shining in the depth of his irises, filling her with something she couldn't quite place anywhere. "Is everything alright, Felicity?"

The way he spoke sent a shiver of want down her spine, her body craving for his and she almost gave in. Almost. But that would mean she would lose the challenge he spoke with his eyes. "Yes, of course."

"You look flushed."

"And you look hot." The words slipped her mouth and she bit down on her lips, not wanting to start an epic ramble that would have the chance to break the spell lingering in the atmosphere. She couldn't let that. Heat pooled between her thighs, straight in her core and she clenched her legs, hoping to control the invading ripple of longing. 

Like knowing exactly what was going on with her - which he probably knew - he smirked, pouring cold water into her glass. She nodded in thanks, not trusting her voice anymore and swallowed the cool liquid, feeling as the water tried to cool her body from the insides but failing. Her body was on fire. Both outside and inside. And the bastard he was, he knew the reason but did nothing. No, he wanted  _her_  to do something. 

Abruptly he got up, and walked to where she was sitting and she turned in her seat just as he placed his arms beside her, caging her. He leaned closer and she could feel his breath on her skin as he breathed in and out evenly, fully in control unlike her. She shivered under the unwanted warming clothes, her walls clenching emptily. One week and they hadn't had sex, they hadn't even kissed. With the need she could feel tugging at her she had zero, absolutely zero idea how that had happened in that way. How come she didn't give in to the temptation that was the man in front of her and climb him like a tree. 

She didn't know whether they were a couple, whether they were in a relationship now, but she knew she wanted him with every fiber of her being. She wanted nothing but him. Only him. To feel him as he moved inside her, his own heat heaving her, their emotions tangling as he thrust in and out of her, his lips on her, the elixir and key to her lust haze. Was this what she would always feel upon looking at him or was this the side effect of the pregnancy?  

"Is there something you need, Felicity?" He might control his body well, but his voice betrayed the affect her own gaze had on him. The playfulness, the hunger evident as he rolled the words off his tongue.

"Yes."

"What is it? Tell me." She closed her eyes just as her hand found his neck, pulling him closer to her. She didn't close the distance. No. It would be him. 

Her breathing quickened, her body screaming at her to just jump at him while his breath played on her lips, the proximity not even near to being enough. She needed more. She needed to feel him already and the heat of his skin only fueled the wanton desire inside her. She was close to give in, too close, but he had to be the one to do that.

"You know what I need." She panted, her voice a mere whisper, consumed by the thirst for him. Their lips brushed at the last syllable, the tension around them climbing higher, almost to a point of immediate bang, the longing nearly exploding.

"Name it."

"You." Oliver growled and their lips clashed in a mess of a kiss like magnets, her fingers pulling on the short strands of hair on his nape. He bounded one arm around her, pulling her flush to his front, her hardened nipples rubbing deliciously against his hard chest, the fire inside her flaring higher with need. His smell invaded her, the scent of musk and cologne filling her, giving just a small morsel to nourish her.

He was all she could feel, in front of her, beside her, everywhere, except where he needed him the most. Inside her. She felt herself pulse with the need and her free hand wandered down to cup him, the abrupt motion causing him to thrust forward and earn a hiss against her mouth. She smiled into the kiss as his tongue stroked hers, feeling feminine satisfaction flooding her, knowing he was as turned on by her as she was by him.

A high-pitched sound from upstairs broke the moment, their lips separating but foreheads resting against the other. "Felicity."

"I'm sorry. My searches might have found something useful. I need to check it out." Oliver grumbled out a word she couldn't catch, his arm tightening around her waist as he delved in again, kissing her long, but not long enough for her. Then he stepped back, giving her space to move down from the chair. She caught sight of him in the low light, seeing some of her lipstick on him, his cheeks heated a tad and she smiled to herself, liking the outcome and its effects of the small kissing section they had just had.

Taking a moment to compose herself and her rattling feelings, she slopped down, eyes not moving from his. 

"We are not done here." His tone made her walls clench hungrily, her chest constricting with disappointment at the interrupted moment.

"Is that a promise?"

"It's more than that." He stepped into her space, his thumb brushing her cheek and her parted lips, leaving a trail of fire behind to burn. "When we get to the main course you will want nothing else."

"Why do you think I want anything else right now?" She whispered, watching his lips as he formed his next words. 

"Because it's written in your eyes." His hand cupped her cheek, tilting her head up to meet his intense gaze. He knew about her doubts while she thought she had them buried in the meantime. Was she an open book for him? For others too?

"When we make love, you will think of nothing just the feeling of me inside you as you come apart." He continued, and her parted lips quivered a tad, her hand coming up to hold onto his arm. She wanted that moment. She wanted him. But he was also right. She had her doubts. Doubts only he can erase. Doubts he could only make disappear with time.

Licking her lips, seeing how his gaze flickered to that small movement momentarily, she spoke, her voice a lot steadier than before. "I'm counting on you for that."

A smug smile appeared on his face and he stepped back completely, leaving the path upstairs empty for her. Inhaling deeply, she walked past him, sensing him fall into step behind her as they walked up to her room, her body aware of every moment of his. Striding to where her laptop was, she opened the flashing notification, feeling his eyes on her back as she did. The address of a location popped up on her screen and she let Oliver see it, the relaxed posture vanishing and being replaced by stiffness, his eyes hardening.

"I know where it is. Grab a coat, I'm driving you to the Mansion." He picked up his phone from his pocket, walking out of her room and barking orders in Russian whilst she did as he asked, packing her laptop along with her coat. Her heart pounding viciously, she nodded at Oliver who motioned for her to follow him, his sharp voice sending shivers down her spine. Was that a location Oliver knew because something had happened there?

He was still on the phone when they left the apartment, his big strides made it difficult for her to follow him and she placed her hand on his bicep, signaling for him to walk a bit slower. That was the only disadvantage she could mention in the pregnancy. How easily her energy was used or how she easily started panting by walking at a faster pace. Oliver looked at her, reducing his speed so she could catch up beside him all the while listening to what was said on the other side of the line.

Only when they were in the car did he disconnect the call. With no words being said he started the car to drive to the Queen Mansion. 

* * *

The ride was quick even with the silence harboring the car. Oliver was lost in thoughts while she was lost in her own ones. His reaction was startling. Whilst the location gave her nothing, she knew Oliver had ties to it. Something had happened there that she couldn't figure out. Looking at him, she realized just how little she knew about him and his past. Sure, she knew what he would do, or say sometimes, she could understand him through looks - something a few people manage to do - and yet, she knew nothing about his past in the mob. She didn't even know what had happened to his family. Whether his mother was alive or not, or how his father and sister truly died. All of these were big dark spots.

The rumble of the car dying tore her out of her thoughts and she watched Oliver get out, walking to her side and opening the door for her. She took his hand as he locked the vehicle then started walking toward the main entrance of the huge house. She never had time to observe the building at night being illuminated by lights. It was magnificent. Like an actual old castle.

Guards at both side of the wooden door greeted Oliver but he kept walking, not sparing a glance to anyone on the way. A group of men stood in the middle with hidden but obviously placed guns and his grip on her hand tightened, as he ordered something in Russian. The men nodded, clearing the way, two people joining their walk toward where she knew his office was. He didn't say anything to her as he led them through the hallway. This wasn't good, she didn't like this situation. 

He unlocked the room next to his study and let her walk in, telling something to the two armed people she couldn't understand. She needed to learn Russian very soon.

Turning on the lights she gasped and swirled to face him, waiting for an explanation. "I wanted to wait until you were working from here to show you this place but it might come in handy while we check out the address."

The room was a bit smaller than his study, the walls painted in a bright warming color as a bigger desk stood in the middle with three computer screens. There was a bigger cabinet to her left, lined next to a couch while the right side of the room only held a door which she assumed, led to his study if something were to happen. Walking to the desk in the center her mouth fell open. If that were possible her jaw would be on the floor right now.

"Oh my god. Is that the new-"

"Yes. Everything you talked about the other day." He had remembered her words. He had actually remembered what she was babbling about.

"Oliver." She practically threw herself at him, catching him by surprise as it seemed, but hesitantly he put his arms around her, returning the hug. She felt her heart blossom with happiness and that one emotion she couldn't name loudly. "Thank you." She whispered against his ear and placed a small kiss on his cheek. Felicity had never seen this coming. He had taken the time to have it all set up and ready for her.

"I have to go." He let go of her and took a step backward.

"Wait. Don't you have a line where you can communicate? I could help you."

"Felicity-"

"Don't expect me to sit around worrying and not knowing what's happening."

He sighed and pursued his lips for a second before talking. "In the right drawer you can find an earpiece. I'll see you soon." With that he turned on his heels and locked the door behind him just as Felicity sat down on the plush chair and booted up the system, turning on her laptop as well. She would have to work on this but for now the default settings would have to do. Taking out the earpiece from where it was disposed, she put it on and pressed a button.

"Oliver? Can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." He said and she could hear the sound of a car and a motor in the background. 

"I'm going to pull up the cameras around the building. Do you need the blueprints? Because it seemed like you know where you are heading." Typing the commands on the keyboard, she focused on the location, hacking the surrounding cameras one by one to see the roads empty and dark.

"No, we will be fine."

She heard him say something in Russian, his voice somehow not calming her. She had a bad feeling. A very, very bad one and if the past months had taught her anything than it was to trust her instincts. Pulling up the heat map of the building she frowned.

"According to the heat map no one is in the building. It could be wrong, be careful." 

"Felicity. I know how to take care of myself." She knew that. Of course she did, but the churning worry in the pit of her stomach couldn't let her relax. Something was going on, she just didn't know what.

"I know. Just... be careful." No reply came and her hand caressed her belly. To calm and reassure herself or the baby, she didn't know. She just needed to do that, to know she wasn't alone while he was out there facing God knows what.

They were fifteen minutes out when a black car pulled up in one of the cameras. A car that wasn't his or his men's.

"A car just pulled up. They are hiding in an alley."

"Copy that."

Heart in her throat, she watched as Oliver and his men arrived and got out of the car, guns raised, everyone ready for a sudden fight. "It's going to be okay. Daddy got this. He is smart, he will come back to us in no time." She whispered, looking down at her middle for a brief second. How much she wished she could feel the baby kicking as some kind of response for reassurance. It was only a matter of weeks.

Hearing a gunshot, her head shot up at the monitor, watching frozen as they continued walking toward the building. Wait. Was the gunshot echoing in the earpiece or did the noise come from inside the house?

"Oliver." She breathed his name, another gunshot breaking the quietness of the building followed by another and another. This was a trap, to lure them out and separate them. They fell right into it.  

"Felicity, what was that?" Opening the drawers and searching for some kind of weapon, anything, the gunshots became more frantic and loud, the grunts and bodies dropping to the floor evident in the chaotic noises filtering through the door and the walls.

"Someone's in the house." She saw Oliver freeze on the screen, and a shiver of fear wrecked her frame. This was bad, horrible.

"I'm coming to get you. Hold on. Do you hear me Felicity?" He ran back to where the bike was parked next to the car just as people from the opposite direction appeared and opened fire on them. They were both attacked. He was in the middle of flying bullets, while she was waiting to be cornered at any second. Pulling open the last drawer, she saw a gun resting there much to her relief. She was disgusted by weapons, but if she had to use that gun to protect her growing child she would use it without a blink. Choosing between her disgust of using a gun and saving her family, whether it was the baby or Oliver, there was no choice to make. 

Breathing coming out as quick pants, she turned off the safety, like Oliver had shown her and tried to calm her racing heart. She needed to concentrate on what was happening and not on what could happen or how they got into that situation. Both of them in different places, both of them attacked. 

But if there was the slightest chance...

"Oliver, I-"

"Don't you dare, Felicity. Not now, not when you aren't even sure of yourself. You will have the chance in a different circumstance, but not now. Just hold on." She could feel the desperation in his voice, the fear and before she could stop it, a tear rolled down her cheek. She saw Oliver get on the bike as the last person from the attackers fell to the ground. The way from the Mansion took them more than fifteen minutes. There was no way he could make it back in time and he knew that as well. 

Another gun was fired and someone dropped against the door to her study, the loud bang echoing in the air as she got up, seeing the blood seeping into the room under the small space of the door and the floor. Whoever person he was, he was right in front of the door.

"I'm sorry, Oliver." She whispered, her voice weak and shaking. 

"Felicity, please don't." He said, understanding what she was about to do. "Please." She raised her hand and turned off the line, cutting herself from him. If he turned out to be too late she didn't want him to hear what would happen. She sniffed but steeled her spine, holding the gun with both hands, ready to fire at anyone who dared to attack her. She wouldn't go down without a fight. She owed that to themselves. To Oliver. To the baby. To herself. She would fight for them. Fight for a chance to be a real family. 

She took a deep breath, just as the door was kicked in and the gun was extruded out of her hand by an arrow.


	15. What'd I Miss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, :)  
> Here's the new chapter. It's nearly 4K words (~3,9) and a few things happen. I apologize for the ending already, the story is getting bumpier. 
> 
> Also, now that the exam is behind me, I'll have time to update the stories, which means both Pacing and FIOS will be updated once a week. The schedule is either coming on Saturday with the third chapter of FIOS or next week. ;)
> 
> Thank you everyone for the feedback, it means a lot to see you guys enjoy the story :) <3
> 
> Anyway, no other words need to be said. Enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to let me know what you think <3

The pain of torn flesh sliced through her as the gun flew from her hands by the well-aimed precise arrow. It had been a small cut. A small but deep one. But the ache was swallowed by the dread rocking in her body. 

Gasping out a breath, a small scream left her throat as her hope of defending herself landed in the wall behind her, held by the stupid arrow. Clenching her cut hand into a fist, feeling the warm blood slipping between her fingers, Felicity looked at the archer in front of her with fear, her heart beating like a beast under her chest. As fast as she could, she moved behind her chair, holding onto it with her uninjured hand for a fulcrum, not moving her gaze from the figure, not blinking lest to miss a movement. 

Sweat broke out on her skin, sliding down and following the path of her spine. She was terrified. More than she ever had been. Her lips trembled, her clutch on the seat growing tighter, waiting for something to happen, praying for Oliver to get to her in time. 

The person stood unmoving, stretching her nerves with nervousness. 

She could feel the heaviness of his glare, could feel the tension climbing higher in the air like it was obligatory. She could also feel the darkness being emitted by the archer, threatening to swallow her light and hope with the force of his aura.

He stayed in place, just enjoying how closer to the edge she got second by second.

It was sick. _He_ was sick. 

A thunder broke the silence, the lights in the room flickering and her heart skipped a beat as he disappeared from her sight in the darkness for a split second. It was less than the time of an eyeblink and yet the uncertainty of not knowing whether he stayed there or moved forward like a panther using the blackness as and advantage scared her even more.

But he still remained on spot as the lamps illuminated the study. 

He was doing it on purpose. He knew she was no threat to him. He did that to terrify her and so far he was succeeding. 

How much time have passed? When will Oliver arrive? Would they attack him once he got there? Was the archer waiting for him to arrive before hurting either of them? The panic rose inside her and she tried to push down the varying scenarios, knowing well it was not the time to lose focus.

Staring at the man in front of her, she saw his hooded face, everything being covered except for his intense eyes that were filled with hatred and anger. Her fisted hand moved to rest on her tummy for reassurance, taking strength from the knowledge of the baby developing well to even her breathing just a little at least. He wouldn't kill her. That she knew. If he had wanted to he would have done it the moment he kicked open the door. And hence she needed to focus. To find something that would help her identify him when he left - in case he wasn't going to take her. 

The moment her eyes flickered from his to look at his weird costume, he took a step forward, making her stiffen as he notched two arrows into the bow, aiming right at her heart. Maybe assuming he wouldn't kill her after all was no good idea.

"Felicity Smoak." His hard voice, manipulated by some device, sent shivers down the length of her body, the fright pushing past barriers again. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Too bad she couldn't say the same.

No voice leaving her mouth to reply, she saw his eyes narrow, the abhorrence in those dark orbs intensifying and she took a step back from the chair, her skin crawling to put as much distance between them as possible.

"I have seen and heard a lot about you. I'm very intrigued by you and I'm very sorry for your unfortunate future. You have a lot of wasted potential."

"What do you want?" She asked back finally, her voice cracking at the last word, the obvious threat in his posture only fueling her anxiety. It was awful how time could turn over events. Not long ago she was just eating dinner with Oliver and now she was facing a killer arrow pointed at her. Scratch that, two killer arrows.

"I want the father of your child to suffer like I had to. And I will make him suffer. But don't worry, death is not around the corner just yet." He released the arrows and one swooshed right next to her head, breaking the glass of the window, the pieces falling down the floor, just as the other arrow embedded itself into her shoulder, causing her to let out a small cry. Her hand came up to clench her shoulder, the blood soaking her fingers as she pressed her back into the wall, wishing she could just disappear and fall right into Oliver's safe arms.

He was coming. She just needed to hold on. She wouldn't lose that much blood to lose consciousness until Oliver got there but the threat was still there. Who knew what the sick psychopath would do next?

"I must apologize for the behavior. It's not your fault you are in this situation, but I'm afraid you chose the wrong person to bed with." The man stepped closer, holding his bow in his hand casually, the only furniture separating them the desk with the expensive equipment. "You see Ms. Smoak, great things are going to happen before you die. I can promise that. It's going to be very exciting."

His gaze moved to her middle then, the hatred turning to disgust and she watched as he tightened his grip on the bow, holding himself back. If she pushed a wrong button with her words he would kill her on spot without hesitation. That she knew without a doubt and that apprehension made her dizzy and shut her mouth. Oliver could arrive at any minute. She couldn't do anything reckless that could cost either the baby's or her life. The guilt would eat him up alive and she couldn't let that happen. Wouldn't let that happen.

He moved his eyes back to hers before he spoke. "For now, I'm here to talk though." 

"Who are you?" Felicity questioned, knowing well enough he wouldn't tell her. Nevertheless, he might say something that would help Oliver realize who they were facing. If they had a name, they could turn the cards for their own advantage very quickly. 

The man chuckled, the low sound resonating in the air. She wished the man would choke as a result. It might sound rude of her, but he was a threat to her only-now-forming-new family and she couldn't lose that. Feeling a ticklish sensation on her arm she looked down, seeing the blood seeping from the wound, leaving a deep red trail behind.

_Blood._

She wanted to vomit at the sight of it.

"Ms. Smoak, where would be all the fun if I told you who I was?" His eyes hardened then, the loathing returning. "You should enjoy the quietness while you can. When I come for all of you, you will never think of anything happy again. Your lives will be miserable, and when we finally get to our endgame, you will wish you were dead." Heart pounding fast, Felicity gasped at the pain rolling in her body, the ache coming off as waves while listening to his words, knowing he meant every single syllable and promise. 

Gritting her teeth, to stop herself from whimpering and giving him that satisfaction, she watched closely as the man took a step back like he had just finished his job well. "Enjoy life while you can. We will see each other a lot soon." He walked out of the room casually, not sparing her another glance as her knees gave out and she fell onto the floor, the small pieces of glass piercing her legs but not drawing any more blood.

Other than the sound of rain hitting the window where it was still in place she couldn't hear anything. The house was quiet like nothing had happened and people were simply sleeping. That was not the case. Not at all. Most of the people in the house were probably dead. That thought along with the sight of her blood made her almost vomit. Coughing a few times, Felicity tried to calm her racing heart and quick breathing but couldn't.

Her body tremored, eyes staring at the blood on her hand. Hand that was placed on her bump. There was blood on her middle in a spot where the clothing had sucked in the red liquid. There was blood where it wasn't supposed to be. On her tummy that had already accommodated to the growing baby.

"Oh god." She breathed in, feeling a panic attack closing in on her, suffocating her like there were real hands on her throat crashing her windpipe. Raindrops dripped on her back through the hole on the window, the cold droplets making her shiver harder. She knew she had to get up. She knew she had to move, take out the arrow, clean up the blood, but she couldn't. Her legs felt jello, her hands not obeying normally.

She just needed Oliver.

Oliver.

Where was he?

Shutting her eyes, she put her other hand on her belly too in a protective hold, gasping out air, the meaning behind the man's words catching up to her. She couldn't breathe. She was inhaling air and it did nothing. It didn't help her. The air itself was strangling her.

The man was going to make them feel real helplessness and fear and she was powerless to stop him. She could do nothing against him. Everything they had ever done only helped them play into their sick plans. She couldn't track them. She couldn't even find a normal lead on them. 

"Oliver." She whispered, her head falling back against the wall, the movement sending a jolt of pain through her limbs starting from her shoulder. 

Tears escaped her eyes, her chest tightening, the need to breathe like a normal person overwhelming her, the sounds of the rain clashing against the window fading, not getting through the fog of panic inside her. She whispered his name again. Wishing he would suddenly appear in front of her and help her.

She had no idea if she had been drugged somehow and that was what caused her actions but she felt like she didn't have the energy to get herself up into a standing position or even a proper sitting position and that made her feel more helpless. She had no idea how much time had passed either. It could be mere minutes or even hours by her estimate since she last heard his voice. The last option was illogical, she knew, unless he couldn't get to her because something had happened. Because something was holding him back.

A muffled shout echoed somewhere in the house, the noise distant, almost like a fragment of her imagination. She opened her mouth but no words left her, the noises getting once louder then hushed. Felicity tried to get her eyes open as she heard his voice but somehow her lids felt heavy, the fight against losing consciousness slowly taking all her energy, the urge to give in strong.

She didn't feel like the air was choking her anymore, no, instead she only felt the pain in her shoulder and hand as tiredness washed over her. 

"Felicity?" She could harken his desperate voice somewhere closer however she couldn't reply. Opening her mouth, forming rational words took too much of her energy. Energy she didn't possess anymore. 

"No." He mouthed in a broken tone and she could actually feel his torment at the moment. 

She heard as someone, probably him, stepped on the glass pieces, just before hands cupped her cheeks. His hands were so warm, if she could, she would have moaned now and not just mentally. "Felicity, please. Open your eyes." Oh, she wished so much to do that. She couldn't. She just simply couldn't.

He barked something in Russian as she heard other movements in the room, his hands tilting her head up a bit. She parted her lips a tad, whispering as loud as she could. "Ol'ver." 

"I'm here. I'm right here. You are safe now." His hands left her face, the sudden loss of warmth making her whimper, the darkness inviting her to its embrace to fall into sleep. She couldn't do that to him. She had to stay awake. For a little longer at least. She felt herself being lifted from the floor, the piercing pain in her shoulder numbing every other emotion and limbs as she was carried away from the study.

"Shhh, I got you." She made a noise? Huh, she truly wasn't aware of herself. She hoped the baby was alright. Stress could do harm to the little peanut and she had more of that than in the past few years altogether. She had no idea what she would do if-

No. The baby was strong. She would know if something had happened. She would feel it. She had to. Except she couldn't feel anything beyond pain. 

Focusing on the heartbeats of Oliver rather than depressing thoughts, she felt herself being dragged to sleep at the calming noise and warmth that surrounded her. "Not your fault." She whispered just as darkness took over her senses, lulling her into nothingness.

* * *

_"How bad?"_

_"We will know more in the next 48 hours and until then, we should pray for the best."_

Those were the first hunting words heard when she had regained her consciousness. Unfortunately for her, she had an idea what they were referring to even if she hadn't listened to the conversation before. And that made her feel sick. She couldn't think of that possibility. It wasn't a possibility. 

Silence followed the words, the heaviness clinging in the atmosphere, making her insides twist with sorrowness. The quietness was only broken by the sound of a door opening and closing and then nothing. It was just her and her what ifs. Tears gathered behind her lids as a reaction, the fear of opening her eyes only to find out they had lost... That they had... And...

She sniffled, clutching her eyes, hoping, needing to know this wasn't reality and when she awoke she would realize all of this had been one bad dream. A horrible nightmare that would fade and be forgotten with time. She couldn't lose her baby. _Their baby_. Not now. Not ever.

A sigh reached her ears, the noise making her freeze. Oliver hadn't left her all alone at least. He must be feeling terrible, blaming himself, doubting himself. She wasn't surprised. In his place she would probably feel the same. She already did.

Oh god, she had no idea what would happen next if her suspicions were confirmed. 

He locked his fingers with hers, the touch bringing a small comfort in the hectic events that was their lives recently. Finding courage in his presence, she slowly fluttered her eyes open, blinking a few times to get used to the light in the room. 

She saw him sitting next to her, his figure blurred because of her missing glasses but even then, she could see the stiffness in his back, the sadness on his face and the tiredness and anxiety in his posture. Anxious Oliver never meant good things. Dread slowly filled her and she pushed the rising panic down, being grateful to see him again. For a while the thought of that not happening crossed her mind. 

"Hey." Felicity whispered, her tone harsh, her throat feeling like sandpaper had rubbed her skin sore. 

"Hi." He didn't sound that better either...

She coughed, her throat burning, the pain bearable though uncomfortable. Oliver got up and vanished from her vision for a second, coming back with a glass in his hand. He helped her drink the water, the cold liquid cooling the ache, making her feel much better. When he placed the glass on the desk next to her, she cleared her throat, looking around for her glasses.

Spotting them on her left side, she tried to take them when affliction stung her shoulder, the reminder of an arrow bringing discomfort and Oliver being the attentive person he could be, placed his hand on her uninjured shoulder gently, moving forward to give her the glasses. Sighing as she finally saw things clearly, she rested her head back against the pillows, watching his face closely.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. Never." He smiled then, the curl of his mouth not reaching his eyes, his lips trembling slightly. There was sadness in his eyes behind blankness, emitting nothing good. This scared her. Deep to her bones. This version of him never meant good things. Gosh, had her suspicion truly been correct? Did they...  

Felicity sniveled, the tears welling up in her eyes at the thought. Oliver took a hold of her hand, not looking away. Tension danced in the air, the heaviness pushing her shoulders plush to the mattress and pillows under her. Her wound ached in small waves, her body tired even though she had just woken up, her limbs twinging a tad at each inhale and exhale. Gaze wandering away from him, she took in her surroundings for the first time, seeing the recognizable furnishment of a hospital room. 

"What happened?" _After I passed out_... Said the unsaid words between them, watching as Oliver tensed, his grip on her hand tightening.

"You have several minor cuts and one big wound by the arrow but other than that it looked like you were alright. The blood loss wasn't serious and yet a day passed and you didn't wake up. The Bratva doctor couldn't do much and I had to bring you here to get you normal medical care." He said and suddenly she became aware of the bags under his eyes, of how much the worriness made him look older. Heart aching for him, she drew circles with her thumb oh his hand, hoping to soothe him a bit. 

"How long have I been out?"

"Too long."

"Oliver."

"For two days. Two. Fucking. Days." He growled and she held out her other hand to draw him closer, ignoring the protests in her shoulder. He followed her hand and the moment she could touch his neck, she tugged him as close as she could, her lips finding his in a solace consuming kiss. The warmth brought by him spread through as the kiss carried on, none deepening, none moving away, just taking comfort in the other, shielding the other away from the lurking demons. 

Felicity sighed into the kiss, her hand finding his stubble and the mole near his mouth, caressing his skin, feeling him relax finally a bit at least.

This moment wasn't about passion.

This moment wasn't about lust.

This moment was about reassurance.

To feel each other. To know that despite everything they still had each other because they were alive. 

She felt her heart thunder under her chest, playing a drum roll, felt her body heave at being close to him, felt her insides lose the knot of nervousness, curling into a sense of calmness. At least until the kiss lasted.

When the need of air become too much, Oliver pulled back, resting his forehead against her, just breathing in the same air as she. It quelled a part of her worry, soothed her hurt body and bruised soul. For both of them.

Planting a kiss on the corner of her mouth, he pulled back, linking his fingers with her once more and rested their joined hands on her bump, his eyes suddenly avoiding hers.

"Oliver, is-" She closed her eyes for a second, gathering strength to ask the heaviness pushing her heart as the tears once again flooded her vision. "Is the baby okay?" There. It was out in the air. She held her breath at the stretching silence, seeing as he fell forward just a trifle, his body not tensing more just flooding with sadness, his posture screaming bad news and red alerts.

Her lips quivered, waiting for his answer, the uncertainty driving her nuts, everything inside her praying for a reassuring nod, a yes, or an of course. None of those words left his mouth. None.

Before she could process what she was doing, she was shaking her head, letting the tears stream down her cheeks. "No. Please no."

Oliver looked at her then and she gasped, the teardrops shining in his eyes, making everything so much worse, confirming one of her biggest fear. "It's-" Felicity swallowed and he shook his head, gazing down at their hands for a jiffy. "After one day of you sleeping, you started bleeding and-"

"No. It can't be." She couldn't believe it. No. It had to be mistake. It wasn't reality. This was just a nightmare. "It's not possible." 

She- They had- No. It, this was just a gigantic mistake. She refused to believe it.

"The arrow you were shot with was poisonous. We didn't know until your doctor said it, because it was not meant for you. It was meant for the baby only." A sob escaped her, sorrowness feeling her veins, a different much worse pain attacking her chest with full force, the reality of his words like small knives twisting in her heart. 

"Did- Did we lose the baby then?" She asked and in fear of his answer, she closed her eyes, her grip on his hand as tight as she could. She didn't know why she was torturing herself by asking that. Everything he had said just confirmed it. 

"Not yet. But there's a big possibility we are going to lose her in the next 48 hours." At any other time, under different circumstance she would have asked him how he knew the baby was a girl and not a boy, but now... Now, her eyes flew open, gazing at him widely, remembering the muttered words when she had regained consciousness.

_the next 48 hours_

"What are the chances?"

"Felicity, don't-"

"I need to know. What are the chances?"

"There's an _80_ % possibility she might not survive."

 


	16. Stay Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii :)  
> As always, I'm sorry for such a long wait. :( I hope to update more but it's not always up to me. That being said, thank you everyone for the patience and for reading this story. The response, especially to the last chapter, had me on the floor in a mess of limbs and tissues. Thank you everyone. <3
> 
> This chapter is not long unfortunately and it has a not nice ending that you will understand when you get there. :P Anyway, here's the new chapter. Enjoy! :)

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

An unhurried symphony unveiling in the quiet midst of the room. Excruciating sounds resonating inside her, swirling with anger, confusion, hurt and helplessness. It was tiring, painful and yet it didn't make seconds pass quicker. If anything, the echoing noises seemed to slow down time around her. Drawing out each trice of a minute, making sure she felt every racking emotion precisely.

Hands on her belly, she stared ahead of herself unmoving, inhaling calculated intakes of air.

It had only been 30 minutes since she had found out that the odds weren't exactly on their sides. She refused to believe it though. She couldn't give up hope even if everything was screaming at her in sorrow to not pray for something that might not become true. If she had high expectations regarding the future, she would not survive when they would, after hours of suffering from the insides, lose the baby. According to the doctor that had come to check up on her, it was a matter of when, not if. Everything was working against them.

She refused to believe it though.

Looking down at her tummy and ignoring the pain that flashed through her at the invading possibilities, she fought back the tears and spoke, in a low, soft voice. "You have to fight, sweetheart. There's no other way, you can't give up. Do it for mommy, daddy and yourself. We can't wait to meet you but for that you need to fight a little longer. Please." Her voice broke off at last syllable, the ache in her chest so sharp it crunched at her heart, it choked her like unseen fingers wrapped around her throat.

"Please." A sob tore out of her just as exhaustion took over her and shredded her vision into darkness.

* * *

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

She regained consciousness to those sounds again, each quiet but for her loud noise like a knife being embed into her skin deeper, biting at her injuries both from the inside and out. The wound on her shoulder was on fire and yet, it was nothing compared to the torment she felt in her chest caused by the emotional wreckage.

Gasping, she gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut, trying to recoup control over her body and vortex of emotions. She didn't know what to think of that could ease her mind of the depressed sensations and the uncertainty of the future that hang above her head. She couldn't think of the baby in happy circumstances without the dark chances interrupting her happy musing. How could she think of anything happy though when nothing was certain? She couldn't think of Oliver without the look in his eyes haunting her. She couldn't think of them, living the life they deserved without something taunting those images.

She just couldn't.

And that uncertainty with gloom thoughts and worry, wrapped around her like a snake, ready to squeeze the life out of its prey. She had no idea for how long she would be able to stand being in that status without going crazy. She had no idea for how long she would be able to stand all those emotions without some kind of relief. Anything was good for her as a starting point. Even an ink drop of hope. A reassuring word. Anything.

She just needed a happy release from the prison she was stuck in.

Looking around the room, she spotted a man next to the door standing casually. He must have been in his late thirties, judging by his looks. And while she didn't know his name, she had seen him before with Oliver at QC and the manor.

  
She cleared her throat, hoping to get the man's attention before speaking up. "Can you tell me where Oliver is?" She needed him beside her, for moral support and also to make sure he was not beating himself up with guilt.

After he broke the news to her, she wanted to process what was going on and asked for some time alone. Feeling only misery and fear, she knew it had been a mistake and she should have asked him to stay.

"He is currently on his way to you, Ms. Smoak." The man answered then turned back to stare out of the window.

"Oh." The sound escaped her before she could stop it. She leaned back against the pillow and sighed. She was grateful he was coming. She didn't want to be alone anymore, even if she counted the man in the room. She just had to see him.

Feeling safe about the idea, she closed her eyes to rest a bit, feeling the calmness around her lulling to sleep.

* * *

 

The third time she awoke that day, it was similar to how she found herself in the hospital earlier, only this time there weren't hope shattering whispers near her just quietness. When she found the strength to open her eyes, she saw Oliver standing in front of the window with his back to her, his hands crossed before his chest as he stared at the city basked in golden lights from the sunset.

She watched from afar his tensed body, in fascination at how still he was, not a muscle moving as he breathed long and deep. She watched his face from half-profile, seeing his pursed lips and expressionless face. Somehow, his presence calmed something in her, soothing the ache that had been thudding vividly under her skin even in her sleep until then.

Like sensing she was awake, he unfolded his arms and turned toward her, picking up the chair near him to place it beside the bed. She kept her gaze on him, not muttering a word until he was seated as comfortably as possible on the small chair. The urge to laugh at how big he was in the seat bubbled up in her throat but instead of letting it out, she waited from him to act, to see what he would do next. When he placed one of his hands atop hers, she smiled sadly at him, the tears coming back to life again to attack in full force and she swallowed, hoping to keep the teardrops at bay. She couldn't cry anymore. He was next to her, with her.

"Hi." He said, rubbing small circles on her hand with his thumb, the ghost look from a minute ago disappearing from his face.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a car then thrown off a cliff. Twice. And I'm not even talking about what I think about the situation we are in." He squeezed her hand as they settled into a comfortable tranquility. Oliver leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, lingering for a second more before he pulled back.

"Tell me something." She said, watching surprise color his handsome features. "Something I don't know about you."

He looked down at their joined hands on her middle for a second, and she could see the way he was thinking about what to tell her. "The last time I spoke to Thea, she was thirteen. That's how young she was when we were attacked and she and dad were killed." This time, she squeezed his hand in support, not saying a word lest to snap him out of the moment and the memory.

"We were arguing about the Bratva and how she did not want me to be a part of the brotherhood. Only, it was too late then. My place next to my father was already established but she didn't know. I didn't know how to tell her and see the disappointment in her eyes. She told me he wanted for me to have a full life without the constant danger hovering over my head. That's what she had said. At 13 years old. She was more mature than she should have been."

  
"You never talked about your sister before." She stated quietly and he turned to look at her, his eyes holding sadness and regret. She couldn'T figure out the reason behind the last. Was it because he didn't listen to his sister? Because he couldn't save her? Or something else?

"She would have loved you, you know. She would be all over us in excitement for giving her a niece she could spoil." She chuckled, remembering the pictures she had seen about her. She could totally imagine what he had said just now. A small smile decorated his face and she sat closer to him, putting the pillow behind her back carefully to avoid using her bad arm too much, and placed her hand on his cheek.

"Thank you for telling me." He only nodded, before tension entered his body again, his gaze looking her up and down.

"Are you alright?" Oliver said, the worry so evident in his voice if she could she would jump at him to hug him with both arms.

"If I remember correctly, you asked something similar five minutes ago." She teased, and he tilted his head, his expression staying the same. "I'm fine, don't worry. Or as fine as I can be given that we are here."

"You don't have to hide from me how you feel."

"I'm not trying to, I just have a hard time processing that it was only yesterday, which was two days ago for you, that we were at the loft, eating dinner peacefully. And now we are here. With no idea if- if all three of us would leave or not." A tear escaped her eye and she looked away from him with trembling lips, not knowing what to say or do anymore. Pretending their reality with denial would get them nowhere. And still, she didn't want to discuss that possibility. She didn't want them to be in denial and yet, she was the one to be in denial.

She felt careful, strong arms embracing her with care to her injury, the warmth of his body cooling her worry in parts. "I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear, his shaky breath against her hair breaking her heart. Here was this strong man who had suffered more than one would over a lifetime, in pain while she couldn't do anything. Whilst she fell into pieces too. "I'm so sorry Felicity."

Wrapping her good arm around him, she buried her face in his neck, looking and finding solace in his arms. "It's not your fault, Oliver." She felt the way he swallowed, and she clung onto him stronger, gripping the shirt with her fingers.

"Yes, it is, Felicity. I was unable to protect you. Again."

"Hey!" She pulled back, pushing at his chest to get a little distance between them. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking anywhere but her. "Oliver, look at me."

When he didn't do as she asked, she cupped his cheek, forcing - or more like trying to since she wouldn't be able to do anything if he didn't move willingly - him to gaze at her in the eyes. "Look at me, please."

Oliver trained his eyes on her, finally, and she spoke, letting him know for the first time how truly guilty she felt. "Listen to me. It wasn't your fault. How on Earth could you have known it was a trap?" He opened his mouth to reply but she put a finger on his lips, cutting him off. "No. It's not your fault. Not everything is your fault. Besides, who showed you the location? Whose searches told you to go there?"

"If there's anyone at fault, it's me." She barely whispered the last two words, expecting him for some reason to confirm what she had said. He didn't of course.

"It's not." He might have believed that but deep down, she knew she was the bad guy here. If she had been more careful she would have known it was trap. She hadn't been resourceful enough and now, it might cost _her_ life. Oh god, she hurt her own baby. She was the reason her little girl might never have the chance to live.

She signed her own unborn child's death warrant with clear blue ink for anyone to see.

No. She couldn't breathe. She hadn't thought through this till now. The reason why they were in the hospital was because she was too careless. Oliver was suffering because of her. The baby might not live another day because of her.

Feeling a lump in her throat, she tried to get herself to breath only to be unable, the snake that had been moving around her was now attacking in full strength, leaving no space for her to inhale air. Her chest hurt, her shoulder was burning, and she was responsible for something awful. She was suffocating.

"Felicity."

No.

"Felicity."

No.

She couldn't. She couldn't look at him. She didn't deserve it. After what had happened, she deserved nothing.

"Felicity, come on. Open your eyes. Let me see your eyes." She whimpered, the need to scream out loud more and more intense as the snake formed in her head squeezed harder and harder. Was she going crazy? She heard the machines around her beeping furiously like her heart, the sound piercing like hours before.

"You need to breath." Oh, she was. Or at least attempting to do just that. "Felicity, fucking breathe!"

She didn't deserve to breathe if her baby didn't get to live. If she couldn't leave with the baby healthy, she didn't want to leave at all. That was her last thought before losing consciousness.

* * *

 

Was that how it would be as far as she was in the hospital? She would wake up, do something then fall asleep or pass out? It was getting more and more tiring for her. If she was awake she wanted to be awake for a big while not for mere minutes. But why was something rambling about this in her own head?

Oh, right. It was a distraction. A distraction from the truth that she-

"Felicity. Don't do it again. Once was more than enough. Just breathe." She couldn't get herself to open her eyes and she didn't have to, to imagine his angry expression. His tone betrayed everything he felt. He took a hold of her hand and gave it a light squeeze whilst speaking. "Breath in time with the pressure."

She refused to answer. For long seconds or even minutes (who knew? Time was working against her) she did, or rather tried, what he asked, inhaling when he clenched her hand and exhaling when he didn't. It worked. In part. She wasn't better in every sense but she also didn't spiral down too deeply.

Without opening her eyes, she mumbled a small thank you, keeping her hands on her tummy.

"Felicity." Not again.

"Please open your eyes." Oliver said, putting his hands on her cheeks and directing her head to where he must be sitting.

"No." This moment was awkwardly familiar for her. It reminded her of that moment in her apartment when she wasn't living with him. When she had no idea the future would bring such a danger upon them. When she was naive enough to think no harm could ever come to the baby. When she had just hurt him with her words.

"I won't force you but I want to see you look at me when I say this." His voice getting through her, she opened her eyes slowly to him sitting next to her in the dark, only the moon lighting up his face barely, the room otherwise hooded with darkness.

  
"This is not your fault, Felicity. You couldn't have known."

"Yes, but-"

"No, buts. It's not your fault. It has never been." She only nodded, not quite believing his words. How could she believe them when facts were facts?

He moved his hands back to where hers were resting, linking their fingers together and drawing something into her skin only he understood. His focus stayed on their hands, at the task he busied himself with. The silence filled the room, the only noise were the beeping and the clock ticking away seconds.

She searched his face with difficulty in the darkness, trying to get an idea of what was going inside his head. Without his eyes watching her like a hawk she had a hard time truly seeing what he might be thinking. It was surprising how she learned to pick up on how he felt in the past weeks while having no idea sometimes of his emotions. It was puzzling her. Challenging her to find out the reason behind that.

How come she knew he would feel guilty when he found her when she had no ounce of idea as to what he was feeling beside the obvious now? Was it because she knew him in a lot of ways or because he let her see him for what he was and felt?

"I hate seeing you here." He broke the silence, his gaze slowly moving up to her face.

"Do you think I like being here either?" She asked back, her tone harsher than she intended, her vorticose thoughts and emotions not letting her clean her head enough to reply. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Hey, don't apologize. You are nervous and frustrated and you have every right to be." Why was he so kind when he should be yelling? When he should be accusing her of endangering their unborn child. When he should be blaming her for what had happened. Why wasn't he angry at her? For turning off the comms, for doing something seemingly reckless, for not suspecting the truth?

Tears welled up in her eyes, the act of kindness too real for her in that moment. She just wanted all of this to be over. She just wanted peace and to know there wasn't a danger lurking at every corner and turn. "I want to go home, knowing everything is alright."

"And you will. We will."

"You can't know that." When did they switch roles? Wasn't she supposed to be the one holding onto hope with everything she had in her and not doubting the chances?

"I know, Felicity, but we can't lose hope right now."

"Even if-" A shrill pain flashed through her body starting from her lower belly and she gasped for air. "No. No. No." She muttered at the rolling contraction, gripping his hand tightly.

"Felicity?"

"Oliver, get a doctor. Now." The sharp throe made her toes curls and teeth clench, the reality clawing at her flesh, causing her heart to break again. She heard him say her name, heard shouts but she couldn't listen to what was said. It was all too low, too distant. Her focus stayed on her tummy, expecting to see the blood painting the white covers.

Hands touched her and she tried to get away, the need to protect, to run away vivid. She needed to get somewhere safe, somewhere her baby would be sheltered from danger. When someone touched the hand on her middle, she jumped, the scream that had been bubbling inside her escaping past her lips as a reaction to the pain and frustration. She heard her name being said, and she fought harder against the hands in her vision, not wanting anyone to do something that would cause more harm.

She had to get away.

That was her number one goal.

Fight. Get away. Protect her baby.

* * *

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

She opened her eyes to the same symphony, in the same bed, in the same hospital room, in the same circumstances. With the unknown hanging over her head. She was alone this time. There was no guard in the room, no doctor and Oliver couldn't be seen either. She was all alone in the company of beeping machines that made her want to crawl as far away as possible and questions.

What happened?

When did she pass out?

How long had she been out?

Where was Oliver?

And most importantly, was the baby alright?

She remembered the contractions, the pain and the panic as people rushed into the room. She remembered getting too scared to let people really close and then she remembered nothing.

Sitting up, she pulled the blanket away from her middle, lifting her shirt to see her belly. There were no signs of anything bad or good. Her tummy had the curve it had for the past days and showed nothing more. She didn't know whether it was a good sign or not. Whether she should be worried or not.

Why was she alone?

Just like someone had been reading her mind, the door opened and a nurse stepped inside with a tray, a glass water on top and something she couldn't see.

"You are awake, Ms. Smoak, good. You gave your man quite the scare." The woman smiled hesitantly and she remained silent, watching as the nurse set the glass on the table next to her and walked toward the door like she was afraid to be in the room with her. Did she do something she couldn't remember? Oh god, has she hurt someone? Or the reason why the elder woman was so hesitant was because she didn't want to break the bad news to her?

"Umm..." She started and wetted her lips, giving herself a moment of preparation. "Could you tell me if my baby is still alive?" She needed to know. No jumping around on what ifs and possibilities any longer.

"I'm sorry Ms. Smoak. I was told only Mr. Queen or your doctor can talk about your state. I will notify them if you wish me too." No, no, no. This couldn't mean good. Only Oliver and her doctor? Because the news weren't good and they wanted her to hear from them?

She blinked, fighting back the tears and feeling a dumpling forming in her throat as the desperation flooded her. "I would be thankful if you could call Oliver for me."

The nurse nodded and walked out of the room, leaving her alone again, with guessing probabilities. She drew in a big amount of air, when she heard mumbled voices in front of the closed door, recognizing Oliver's but understanding what he was talking about.

A moment later though, the door reopened and she stilled her spine, looking at him with big eyes, holding the breath she had inhaled, waiting to see his face. His face would tell her everything.

He stepped inside and she took him in, searching for answers.

It wasn't his expression that had told everything she had to know. No. It was the way he had said her name, letting the emotions run high.

"Felicity."

She knew now.


	17. Blow Us All away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, :)  
> Thank you everyone for the feedback on the last chapter. I actually wanted to cry at how kind and positive you were even with that cliffhanger. <3  
> I have made a poll on Twitter (https://twitter.com/WalkingOlicity/status/825316010781790209) whether the story should have a sequel or not. If you have a free minute please vote. Thank you :)
> 
> As for the chapter, not much to say because it would spoil everything, so happy reading! :)

It had been a little over a month since they left the hospital but a small piece of her was stuck there. She supposed it would be there for a long time. For months if not years. The memories of those terrifying hours would never fully leave her. A part of her will always be in that hospital bed, worrying her soul out. Just thinking of what had happened, of what could have happened was enough for tears to escape her eyes. It was enough to make her want to collapse and scream until she couldn't anymore. It was enough to make her want to cry until there was nothing she could do, no tears she could shed.

Was it even normal to feel that way? According to the doctors who had discharged her, it was. In her mind, it wasn't.

They had no idea what she felt. They couldn't imagine because for them it was unimaginable, something they would never have to feel.

It wasn't frustration really. It was not happiness or fear either. It was nothing she should be feeling right now. It was the need to avenge. It was that beast that had been born inside her soul the moment they stepped out of the hospital. And that beast had only one goal set.

To destroy the person who had caused them pain. To make that person feel every drop of misery they had to endure from the moment he had appeared in their life. To take vengeance.

And she would. If not her personally then Oliver. But either way, they would make that son of a bitch suffer. There was no other way. They were done playing into his hands without consequences. The moment he had shot her with that arrow he had signed his own death. The old Felicity from a year ago would have flinched at the idea of someone dying. The old Felicity would have tried to come up with a different idea. But she had changed. The person whom she was, whom she became in the past months didn't feel guilty for thinking of that. She wasn't compromising anymore.

That asshole had come after her family and she would not tolerate that. If it had come to that point, she would personally deliver death to him on a silver plate. Oliver's enemies needed a message? A memoir? She would give them, wrapped in a red bow like a gift from the heart. 

No one hurt any member of her family and got away without a fatal wound in the head.

"Hey." Oliver said, stopping next to her on the balcony where she had been in the past hour. She hadn't left the loft since they had returned, not even to work. She worked from afar - they had agreed on that silently when they were driving to the loft from the hospital. When she needed fresh air, she came out to sit on the chair and watch the city in full life or deserted at some nights. That place had quickly become her friend. It had helped her clear her mind and concentrate when emotions ran too high suddenly. It had helped her realize a few things she might not have had otherwise. It also helped her connect to Oliver in a different way. 

It had grown into their thing. 

She had been sitting outside every night since they had returned after the sun had vanished behind the horizon. Oliver, when he arrived at nights after dealing with something he had to, would cook up something for her and they would talk. They had been distant toward each other - emotionally mostly - and yet, she had found out more about him in that one month than in the past half a year.

In that past month, she hadn't been the only one who had gone through a lot of changes. They might have talked more than before the attack but he had been a lot colder since then. To her, it seemed like he had switched into protective Bratva mode and hadn't left that place in his head ever since. A part of her craved his warmth and support back he had basked her in, but another part of her was glad a little. Glad, seeing as it meant she wasn't the only who was dead serious about catching that bastard. Of course, if she could choose, there would be no hesitation in choosing his no cold-self. That hadn't changed in her. 

The bigger part of her, that needed his before-accident-teasing-self back, wanted nothing but to cuddle on the couch with his hand resting protectively on her tummy, while they talked about future arrangements concerning the colors they would use for the baby's room, or arguing about names. Those weren't possible anymore. She didn't know whether those would ever even happen while that man was free.

They were too on edge, too focused on getting that moron to share those intimate moments she had dreamed and desired deep in her heart. Which was why she had buried those wishes and only paid attention to her searches and ways to lure him out. The faster they caught him, the better it was for all of them. 

There had been no further assaults or threats. No. He simply vanished that night and hadn't resurfaced since then, just like he had said before shooting her. It was a mind game, she had realized during the first week of silence. He wanted them to go crazy in fear of another unexpected attack. To go crazy, worrying which day would take away their baby, which day would he come back to finish the job he hadn't succeeded in the first time. It was sick. Like the man itself.

Felicity, though, didn't let that affect her. Not in the way that prick wanted at least. She was terrified of losing their unborn child, that was not even a question, but she wasn't waiting around in a hideout like he probably thought she would. She also didn't run away from Oliver like she could see their enemy wanting her to do so. Quite the opposite, she stayed with him and now they were doing everything in their power to track him down. Oliver used his connections in and outside the Bratva while she got every information that could help her tracing him. From the arrow to the cameras in the Mansion to the men who had tried to abduct her before.

A month had passed and they had different leads. However, this time they were much more careful. They didn't go after a suspect abruptly. Instead, they looked into the chosen target, checked the connection he had had with Oliver and the Bratva and whether he had killed anyone accidentally which could prompt a revenge. They had 21 suspects. And only 5 of them had been cleared innocent in wanting to tear apart Oliver's worlds. 

Anyhow, her patience was running thinner with each day. She needed all of this to end, so they might get the chance to actually enjoy the rest of her pregnancy and become something. Anything that meant moving forward from the place they were trapped in at the moment. 

She was in her 20th week, they should be waiting excitedly to finally feel their baby kicking, and yet they couldn't because most of the weeks had been filled with agony, stress, and worrying. They had to put an end on that guy and that had to happen quickly. 

They were over the first trimester but there was more danger at every turn and corner she could count.

"Felicity." He said, cutting off her musing, his voice softer than how it usually was, her name rolling off his tongue, carrying more meaning than she could process in that moment. She didn't turn to look at, she stayed unmoving just staring at the city ahead. She didn't have to move to see him in the edge of her vision as he stepped closer, holding onto the railing.

"Let's get back inside. It's getting cold outside." He kneeled down in front of her, forcing her to look at him, the sunset's last rays illuminating his face for her to see clearly. Gazing into his eyes, she frowned. Something had happened. Something that couldn't be all bad judging by his expression and the way he spoke. 

When she didn't answer, he grabbed her hands, making her frown deeper. He hadn't touched her hands in weeks. He hadn't touched her at all. Not since she was released at least. What had happened to make him act like that suddenly? 

"Come on. I cooked us dinner." Felicity nodded slowly and got up, following him into the warm kitchen with the plates ready and the food steaming in the middle of the island. Her confusion grew bigger. He had cooked her every day (she was kind of getting obsessed, not that she would ever admit it to him), but they always ate outside. Something was definitely up. 

Without sharing a word, she took off the cardigan she had been wearing outside and sat down on the stool like all those weeks ago before the attack, staring at him suspiciously as he loaded food on the plate and poured a drink into the glass. Her heart ached at the sight.

So much had occurred ever since then. She had been shot and poisoned. She had to endure hours of uncertainty and pain. And...

She had nearly lost her baby because of said poison...

When she had woken up after the bleeding she honestly didn't know what to expect. The nurse didn't tell her anything and the seconds that had passed between the time the woman left and Oliver stepped inside seemed like an eternity to her. She remembered how her heart was pounding in her throat as he walked into the room. She remembered vividly seeing his expression as a sob escaped her. It wasn't because her world just got shattered, it was because she was joyful. More joyous than words could ever express. The baby survived. Their little peanut was as much of a fighter as she believed her to be.

They were past the 48-hour mark and won the battle. The doctors examined both of them thoroughly to make sure there would be no sudden arising complications, gave her a small speech and let them go a week later. As suspected, her doctor ranked her pregnancy high-risked and gave her a list of signs to watch out for in which she had to call her instantly. Felicity wasn't happy for that, but she was relieved to know they wouldn't lose the baby. That was the most important. If she had to give up working in a place full of sharks she wouldn't put up a fight anymore. Her baby's health was what mattered. 

Which was why they had to catch that monster as soon as possible. She would not let him harm her baby for the second time. One was more than enough.

Shaking her head a tad, she removed all thoughts and started eating, knowing well she had to start gaining more weight. Oliver followed her and they ate in silence, the various flavors exploding in her mouth, making her eyes flutter close. He was impossible. He had turned her life into a never-ending episode of Master Chef in the past month. Not that she was complaining. She really wasn't. 

Oh, she got very lucky.

When she was done eating, she drank the orange juice he had filled her glass with and leaned back against the backrest, heaving out a contented sigh. She was fully full if that was possible. Caressing her growing bump with her thumb, she wished she could feel the little girl's kicks already. At the phrase 'little girl,' a question left her mouth before she could stop herself, interrupting the quiet haze.

"How do you know our baby is gonna be a girl?" He looked at her, a small smile appearing on his lips once the word 'our' left her and she ignored the butterflies in her tummy as an effect. It had been long since she had seen a smile from him.

"I just know."

"That's not exactly an answer."

Oliver shrugged, looking her in the eyes as he spoke. "I've always wanted a girl."

That was a new information to her. Had he thought about having a baby before? She had no idea. "I didn't know you wanted a baby with someone." For reasons she was not ready to admit, the thought of him having a baby with someone else didn't sit well with her. 

"That's because I didn't. The thought never occurred me. For so long I believed I didn't deserve happiness. That I didn't deserve to have a family. Then I met you. I'm not sure if I deserve you and our baby or if I will ever deserve you two because of the things I had to do, things I have yet to do, but I'm going to do anything to be worthy of you."

"Oliver..." She whispered, her heart breaking a bit at his words, at his own disbelief, and own lack of self-worth. When she opened her mouth to deny what he had said, he cleared his throat and looked away, sweeping away the atmosphere that had settled on them. For another second she stared at him, searching for his eyes then decided to change the subject. She would prove his worth. She wouldn't let him think so little of himself.

"Have you found him yet?" She asked and at last, he glanced at her, his previous sadness switching into something else, she couldn't name at that moment. He almost looked as if... As if he was happy? But why would he be happy? Did that mean they had caught him? She would be glad to exchange a few words with that moron in the company of her tablet. She would drain all his bank accounts and donate all his money to orphanages. She might not be strong physically like Oliver or his men, but she had her own strengths people should not question. Underestimations would bite them in the ass.

"That's what I've wanted to talk to you about but first dessert." 

Huh, he was in a funny mood that night. There was no way, she would be able to eat more. Nope. "Oh, no, no. I'm almost disgustingly full."

"You are gonna have to try a bite or two of this." He got up and turned away, probably doing his final touches on whatever dessert he had cooked up in his sleeve. Pun intended. Okay, maybe he wasn't the only one who was in a funnier mood. Biting her lip to keep her from chuckling at her own joke, she watched his hands moving, trying to get a peek at his work. Not that she could eat.

"Are we celebrating something? You haven't made desserts before." 

"That depends on." He turned back, a tray in his hand with two...

"Is that..."

"The souffle you were talking about the other day? Yes. You seemed like you could use something to cheer you up." She couldn't explain whether she teared up because of her hormones or because of his sweet gesture, but she did anyway. She couldn't believe him. He could snap one's neck in a second, he could be more ruthless than one should be and here he was, standing in front of her with handmade souffles. This man was unthinkable.

"Thank you, Oliver. You were right and this means a lot." Taking a little bite couldn't hurt, right? There was no way, seriously no way, she could deny that yummy-looking piece of art. Even if she had claimed she couldn't possibly eat. She hated Oliver in that moment. He placed one of the souffles in front of her and she followed his movements with her eyes until they stopped on the dessert. She took the first bite before he even had time to sit down and moaned. Literally. Out loud moaned.

"I thought you said you couldn't eat anymore." Felicity narrowed her eyes and glared at him as he chuckled, before turning her attention back to the delicious snack. Because that was it. Just an innocent snack. Plus, it was to make sure she provided enough nutriment for the both of them. Or at least, those were the excuses she told herself.

One innocent mouthful of food became another and another until there was nothing left. If she thought she was full before, she didn't know what to name how she felt. 

She placed one hand on her belly while she picked up the refilled glass, eyeing Oliver as he ate his own dessert silently. "I think I have discovered your super secret and super evil plan."

Felicity watched as he swallowed the food in his mouth, keeping a track of the movement of his lips, as he parted them to answer. A desire she had felt over the weeks but locked away flared up in her, ready to fog her mind and get her to walk over to him to kiss him. "Really? And what is that?"

"You want to fatten me up and then consume me." He winked, actually winked at her and in that moment her own words caught up to her and she blushed, choking on her drink. 

Coughing a few times, she replied. "That is not what I meant and you know that too."

"I don't think I do. You are gonna have to explain that to me." Felicity huffed and got up, leaving him behind to sit down on the couch before the hearth. She just got herself into a comfortable position when he hopped down next to her. She propped herself up on the elbow and stared him, noticing how calmer he seemed. Even yesterday his posture screamed tension and edginess, but 24 hours later and it looked like he was replaced by a lighter version of himself. 

"So, what is it that you wish to discuss?" 

"We got him." She felt her heart skip a beat right before it sped up, nervousness hitting her out of the blue. She didn't want to get her hopes by his words. He could have meant someone else or one of his minions. They knew that person had a lot of them.

"Him as in him _him_?" Felicity held her breath, the nanoseconds passing slower than usually, making the time between her words and his get by a lot slower.

"Yes, him."

"Does that mean it's finally over?"

"Yes. It's over. We found him in a small basement. He wore the clothes you described, had the same poison he used and the same weapons. He will never bother us again."

"Is he..."

"Dead? Yes."

"Good."

She didn't feel sorry for him. He deserved to be dead. She only wished she could have been there to see it. To see their problems shattering into pieces and vanishing behind a lock never to be seen again. 

When he looked everywhere but her, she questioned. "You are not feeling guilty, are you?"

"No, he had hurt you and our baby. There was no choice to make. I just found it all odd. It was too easy. He didn't put up much fight and he died before he even revealed why he was so hellbent on a payback. I just thought if we found him, it would be harder..." He trailed off, getting lost in thoughts.

"Harder to take him down?" She finished for him, placing her hand on the top of his. She understood his logic. Someone who had been planning a revenge for months or years would probably be ready for any kind of challenge, but maybe they had luck. Maybe, he simply messed up his calculations somewhere that led Oliver right to him.

"Yeah."

"Maybe he wasn't expecting you at all. A surprise attack can be much more powerful than numerical superiority."

"You are probably right. But it's over now."

"I had no doubts you would get him." Felicity inched forward, putting her hands on his cheek, forcing him to gaze at her. Drawing smoothing circles with her thumb on his jaw, she settled down between his legs and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes and enjoying that moment in his company. 

When his hands found her hips, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as her bump allowed her comfortably, inhaling his scent and letting the warmth of his body ease the remained tension out of her much smaller form. "Thank you." She whispered, her heart bursting with happiness, calmness and even love. Frowning a tad, she allowed herself to feel the path of his fingers from her hips to her back, basking in the newfound emotion as she let herself be surrounded by him in a peace. 

A month ago she would have freaked out. A month ago she would have been in denial, she would have lied to herself. A month ago she would not have permitted herself to even think of the word love. 

But a lot can change under a month.

For her, that meant accepting her feelings for him. She didn't have to voice them right away, they were in no rush after all, but acknowledging was only the first step. It had only been a matter of time, while she denied recently she knew it would come to that point. Perhaps, it was not a bad thing after all. Perhaps, they would finally get their chance at trying, at working out their issues without distractions.

A month ago, she would have been wide awake in fear. But now? Now, she fell asleep in his arms by the fireplace, feeling content and happy. 

She fell asleep in his arms, cocooned by the love for him and without suspicion. 

Little did they know they were still playing into the hands of the enemy by thinking they were safe.


	18. That Would Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> After two months *hides* here's the new chapter with 4.4K words! All I'm gonna say is that stuff happens, especially at the end. *wink, wink*
> 
> That being said, Pacing has 8 chapters left (7 more if we don't count this) and then it's gonna be finished. I'm hoping to do that before summer arrives but I think it's mission impossible. Still let's cross fingers.
> 
> Also, comments/Tumblr asks/tweets are open for suggestions for baby names as I have only one idea that seems fitting but that had been used a lot before and who knows? Some of you might have a much better idea. ^^
> 
> Anyways, here's the new chapter. As always don't forget to let me know what you think and enjoy. :-* <3

When Felicity woke up again, probably for the fifth time that night, the sky was already painted in various shades of pink, purple and orange as dawn settled upon the city. She groaned, placing a hand on her belly and sitting up. For more than twenty weeks, her pregnancy had gone rather smoothly, besides those terrifying days she would not mention, but now three weeks after Oliver had told her the danger had faded and she was in her twenty-third week, she hadn't had a full night's sleep since forever. Okay, that was a tiny bit exaggerated, but it certainly felt like forever.

"Honey, can't you find another hiding spot?" she asked in the silence and let out a long sigh, the sleeplessness making her frustrated. Reaching for her glasses, Felicity stood up and made her way to the bathroom with the speed of a sloth, her limbs protesting for being used with not much energy. Once there, she did a quick glance in the mirror, seeing her tangled hair everywhere, bags marring the undersides of her eyelids. Her skin was so pallid she could compete with Snow White to see who had paler skin. 

She tore her gaze away and padded to the toilet to pee, her eyes slipping shut involuntarily time and time again. There had to be a solution for this. She needed to think of something soon as she had no idea for how long she could function with only a few hours of disrupted sleep every night. Simple tasks were getting more and more difficult as time ticked by and the piled up irritation was getting them nowhere. Said emotion was making her say snarky comments and lines she hadn't used since college and she was pretty sure she was driving Oliver crazy as well. Although, his expression either held admiration or nothing that would imply how he felt about her constant state. Anyways, she knew it couldn't be easy on him, being this helpless. 

It was interesting how her pregnancy changed her. She had always been one to get up early and function with ridiculous amounts of sleep - if she had caffeine in her system so to speak - but now the thought of sleeping less than eight hours had her grumpy and annoyed. Naturally, it was because of her strong-willed baby, but she had never imagined a time when she wouldn't be a morning person. 

Flushing the toilet, Felicity walked back to the sink, ignoring the mirror, and opened the faucet to wash her hands and cheeks. The cold water awakened her half-asleep body more and knowing she would not be able to get back to sleep with the dim lights of the new day illuminating her room, she washed her teeth. Freshening up always made her feel better, it helped her forget the fact that she had slept like four full hours. Four hours if she was lucky. 

Not bothering to put up her usual makeup, she combed her hair and strode back to the room, picking up the pullover that rested on the backrest of the chair. Since she couldn't go back to sleep, she would get some fresh air on the balcony. She had no idea whether Oliver was already awake or not, but knowing how hard it was for him to rest for hours at once too, she figured she wouldn't risk waking him up. 

Felicity trod down the stairs, wrapping the garment around herself and watching the peaceful city through the large windows as the sun appeared on the horizon. She opened the door of the balcony and stepped outside, inhaling a big take of cool air whilst her eyes closed automatically. Hand hovering over the handle of the glass door, she stood there for a few seconds, just enjoying the chilly weather and the tranquility the morning brought. For long weeks, months even, she had denied herself the sense of safeness. For a long time, when she looked at the city, she didn't feel or see peace. She only saw the floating danger that waited for them at every corner to lower their guards for a nanosecond to lash out. The city unlocked her anxiousness, whereas now, it held the possibility of making more happy memories and moments.

She closed the door behind herself and looked sideways, spotting Oliver sitting on a blanket a few steps away, looking down at his hand that held something that seemed like a note or a picture. He couldn't sleep either. Line forms behind her.

"Hey," she said, a smile lightening up her face as she took a seat next to him, taking a hold of his bicep with both hands. 

"Hey," he answered and lifted his head, pecking her lips, the small gesture making butterflies tango in her stomach. Her gaze roamed over his face, taking in his scruff, the mole near his lips, the tiny curve of his mouth and the eyes that held currently nothing but serenity.

"I take it, you couldn't rest again," he voiced, his tone full of sympathy with a pinch of sadness. Felicity nodded and rested her head on his shoulder, heaving out a content sigh as Oliver planted a kiss on her hair, feeling her body buzz with different emotions. She savored the moment there, and doing so, she placed a hand on her tummy, tracing the outlines of her bump.

It was just the three of them, sharing an intimate and meaningful morning. She couldn't wait for more of this, just like she couldn't wait to feel or rather recognize the kicks of their daughter. It was due for that to happen and she had read a lot to make sure she wouldn't miss out the feeling. For now though, there was nothing she could identify as the baby's activity, besides nestling in the wrong spot over and over again. 

Her eyes drifted to his fingers on his lap and she frowned for a jiffy, moving her hand from her belly to see what he had, her heart speeding up when she realized what it was. The ultrasound picture. The one he had slipped into his pocket after his surprise visit. The only image they had of their little fighter. She stroked the spot where their girl was gently, afraid the only still of her might vanish, the tightening emotions turning into unshed tears. She had completely forgotten he had that snap. 

"I didn't want to wake you, but I just needed to..." he trailed off and gestured at the image. He didn't have to finish his sentence, she understood what he meant. Sometimes she placed her hand on the bump to make sure it was all reality and now just a fragment of her imagination. To make sure everything was alright and things were doing great. She did that especially when sudden thoughts of her time in the place she would not mention returned to daunt her with different outcomes. 

"Sometimes I can't believe this is real. That someone like me could be gifted with such a miracle. Miracles to be exact," he looked down at her and pecked her lips again, his movement and words warming up her heart, "and I just can't help but think that all of this will slip right through my fingers soon and I will lose everything. I will lose the both of you."

Felicity remained silent, knowing only reassuring words would not help him, and instead shifted in her position, taking his hand and placing it under the layers of clothes on the naked skin of her bump, spreading her smaller fingers on the top of his bigger ones. As the first rays of the sun shone on them, Felicity grasped the ultrasound image and placed it between them, guiding his other hand to her chest where her heart thudded beneath the cloths. Oliver watched her silently and she noticed as his lips trembled for a second before he recomposed himself. He was obviously overwhelmed by her actions and yet there was a part of him that seemed closed off. She had every intention to break through that locker and get him to understand they were not going anywhere. She couldn't promise him word by word as the world they lived in had unforeseeable incidents, but as long as she had a breath left in her lungs, she would fight to get back to him, to them. Just like she would fight to protect her family. The baby and him.

"We are here, Oliver. Both of us," she whispered and felt the palm on her tummy move, his thumb caressing every surface it could reach. She let him discover the path of her rounded belly, the closeness making her heart clench since it was the first time he had ever touched her bump with no barriers separating the skin-on-skin connection. His gaze focused on his own moves and she felt her pulse spiking higher and higher as a tear escaped the captivity of her eyelid and slid down, tickling her cheek. Felicity closed her eyes and gave in to the sensation of sharing that moment with Oliver, allowing her emotions to run high in front of him. 

If she could choose one moment to live in for the rest of her life, she would choose the here and now immediately. 

Oliver stirred, leaving the hand on her middle, but otherwise pulling her close, enveloping her in a tight embrace with his other hand that rested on her chest before. The position was a tad awkward and uncomfortable, yet sensing how much he needed that, Felicity wrapped both arms around his neck while he buried his face in her neck. She heard as he drew in deep breaths and realized she wasn't the only one savoring every teeny-tiny movement this few minutes flooded them with.

Something must have happened, she mused. Oliver hadn't acted like this once in the past weeks. It should have scared her, knowing he was keeping a secret from her, but instead of allowing herself to imagine worse and worse scenarios, she trusted him to tell her whatever that was bothering him truly when he was ready. 

* * *

The sun was high in the sky when they finally went back inside. She had no idea how much time they spent in each other's arms just that she would have been able to stay there all day if not for the phone call that drew Oliver back to reality. He must have lost his sense of time for those minutes - or even hours - because the moment his phone buzzed in his pocket he cursed and pulled away, murmuring a small sorry as he stood up and left her alone on the balcony. Felicity, however, stayed there for another five minutes, enjoying the warmth of the sun dancing across her nude skin.

When her stomach growled, she stood up as well, folded the blanket and took it back with her to the loft. Oliver was still on the phone, talking to someone in a hard Russian voice, pacing back and forth beside the windows, so she decided to make herself something. Apparently, he was very much aware of every move of hers because the moment she took out a pan from the lower cabinet and eggs from the fridge, he turned up next to her, took the pan out of her hand, gave her a pointed look and motioned for her to sit down on the stool. All that while, still speaking with someone. To say she was impressed would be an understatement. He probably saved her from an awful breakfast, as he knew well enough she wasn't the best in the kitchen department. 

Clenching the phone between his shoulder and ear, he prepared her the breakfast quickly, never once stopping the conversation he was engaged in. Not even five minutes later the steaming eggs were in front of her. How could he even...

She swept the fresh memory and swirling thoughts away and refocused her attention on the screen before her. She was really behind with work. Felicity couldn't even remember the last time she did anything work related to be honest, let alone set foot in the building of QC. If the hundreds of emails were any indication, she had done everything but work in the past few weeks. Of course, she had much more important stuff to deal with, so she didn't feel that guilty. 

Sipping the tea Oliver had brewed before leaving, she scrolled through the updates and notes she had missed, catching up on the latest news. Even though she was gone from work for an awful while, not much had happened. Nothing significant for that matter. The projects they were working on before she left were developing nicely and according to plan with only one glitch mentioned that set them back. As much as she disliked the attitude of the people in the department, she felt just as relieved. Since there was nothing wrong, or more like, nothing serious they couldn't handle without her, she didn't have to go back right away which meant she could avoid the stress of the press finding out about her and Oliver. 

Speaking of press, they had yet to discuss what to do with them. The events of the past few weeks truly delayed that conversation. The best would be if they managed to keep everything a secret and under control at least until the baby was born. It was only a matter of time before someone would catch a scent and start a hunt for scoops but if they managed to come up with something, they could keep that additional stress away for as long as possible. She didn't want to risk anything compromising the health of their baby anymore and not being able to go anywhere without at least twenty reporters following her trail definitely counted as too much stress on the top of already too much stress from the past.

Deciding it was best to start replying to colleagues and new possible clients, Felicity put the train of thought about the press away, and once again focused on the task ahead.

* * *

It was past seven when she finished answering emails. It might seem like she worked too much but honestly, she finished everything in record time and she wasn't even in her best element! While she was quick to be done, the work was thrice as exhausting as it would be normally. Leastways, she did the whole shebang she had planned for the day. Feeling satisfied, Felicity put the laptop sideways, stretching her limbs, her palms ending up on her belly.

"One productive day checked and daddy should be home soon too. What about showing us how strong you can be, hmm?" Felicity asked and bit her lower lip. She shouldn't have those kind of thoughts again, but each hour that passed with no kicks at all or other flutter-like moves everyone always described, she couldn't help but remember the warning of the doctor. She told them what to expect and what not to, but the first activities would be due in her nineteenth week. The longer there was nothing the bigger the chances that something was actually wrong after that scare. Many mothers had kicks regularly in her week and she hadn't felt one at all. She booked it as not being able to make a difference between kicks and stuff her stomach did for the whole week, but she couldn't deny it anymore, after everything, it was alarming her. 

No. She shook her head. Everything was alright. Their little daughter was a fighter. The doctor said it was fine until she reached her twenty-fourth week and even after that. She had plenty of time to start feeling the kicks. She shouldn't take out her paranoia every day. 

With that, she got up, took the mug from the table and walked to the kitchen to heat up the remaining tea. Whilst the liquid warmed up on the stove, Felicity took out some grapes from the fridge to munch on. She hadn't eaten a lot during the day. If she wanted to be honest, she got so lost in work, she had eaten only once during the day and that was the breakfast Oliver had made. Oh, if he found that out... She knew how much it could frustrate him when she skipped a meal but she didn't do it on purpose. She simply dozed off in the world of work and forgot about time like he did on the balcony. 

Pouring the tea into her mug, she took a seat on the stool, nipping the drink until there was nothing left to sip. 

"So, what shall we do until daddy arrives?" she looked down after placing the empty mug on the island. There were times when she dreaded the idea of calling Oliver the father of her child but now, she had no trouble doing that. She didn't flinch, had no thoughts of it being wrong or had doubts. It came naturally to her lips. Especially ever since she realized she loved him three weeks ago. She had yet to tell him that though she wasn't so sure she was ready to voice it. Accepting one emotion and voicing that were different. Time, she reminded herself. They had all the time in the world. They didn't have to rush through things, because for the first time since she met him and they started sleeping together, there was no one after them.

The thought brought a smile to her lips. Sometimes, she still had a hard time believing things were over. It all seemed infinite. The constant peril living under her skin, the uncertainty that waited them at every turn. It was all gone now though, never to be resurfaced again. 

Of course, she wasn't naive to think it was the last time they had had to face danger, as Oliver had other enemies out for blood as he explained one night, but for now, things were calm. 

She was about to walk up to her room when she heard the key turn in the locker seconds before the door unlocked, revealing Oliver. Felicity hopped down, taking a step toward him, a frown forming on her face as she watched him shut the door, his coat not covering the stillness of his muscles. He placed a palm against the flat surface, pinching his nose with his free hand with his back to her.

"Oliver?" she called out, stepping closer, waiting for some kind of reaction that never came. He stood unmoving like he hadn't heard her even though they both knew he did. Her insides were screaming at her to close the distance between them, but her body couldn't comply normally as her gaze stuck on him. 

When she managed to get herself to take another step, he tensed more, starving the confusion as to why he was acting like that. Before she could get any closer to him or say something, he spoke, his voice low, holding a dangerous intimation in the air,  _"don't."_

He was trying to scare her off, she realized as soon as the last character rolled off his tongue. Well, he could suck it up, there was nothing he could do that would scare her. She was a hundred percent sure he would never hurt her, trying to intimidate her would simply  _not_  work. If they wanted to make things work between them successfully he had to learn how to lean on her when something bad occurred in the organization, at the company or elsewhere. 

"Oliver, look at me," she inched closer, and he turned suddenly, his hands in fists that turned his knuckles so white she could notice even with that distance. His eyes were hard, shouting anger directed at something she couldn't decode, his jaw clenched. She had no idea what happened but judging by his looks it was nasty. 

"Felicity, stay away from me," he bit out word by word, slowly, as if she couldn't understand him, and any other time it would have made her roll her eyes, but now, it made her insides scream harder to get to him. When she didn't move, he took it as his cue to leave and sprung into action, heading toward the stairs. 

"Hey!" she called after him, trying to catch up with him as he basically ran up the stairs. It wasn't fair that he just ignored her and strode up when he knew she couldn't hurry like before because of being pregnant and being more exhaustible. By the time she got to the top, Oliver was already in the corner, turning to where she caught him once working out. She had to get through him. He would end up hurting himself if she didn't do something. She knew as he had already done that once. When she was in the unmentionable place after finding out their baby had survived, her gaze wandered to his hands and instead of seeing his skin, she found white wraps that had red spots on it from where the blood leaked through. It had taken a while for his injuries to heal and she didn't want to see blood waltzing on his knuckles because Mr. Mad-y decided to shut her out again. 

She was halfway when she heard the door being slammed, and she tried to sprint there as fast as she could, her body protesting while her heart yelled to go faster. Turns out, running while carrying a child under her heart was a much more difficult task than she anticipated at first. Trying to catch her breath, she prayed he forgot to lock the room and pushed down the handle, relief flooding her veins when the door opened.

Stepping inside, her eyes locked on Oliver as he slogged a poor dummy as hard as he could, the scars he had on perfect display since his shirt and coat seemed to have disappeared along the way. Sweat glistened on him already whilst curses and other for-her incomprehensible words slipped past his lips in Russian. She couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened that made  _this_  mad.

Walking around the different workout machines, Felicity stopped a mere five feet next to Oliver, who hadn't seem to reduce the speed of his movements. Placing her own anger under shelters, she gave him one minute to work out some of his irritation before setting her foot down mentally and speaking in a clear and loud voice, "Oliver, stop."

When he ignored her, once more, Felicity narrowed her eyes, speaking up a bit more forcefully, "I said, stop!"

To her biggest surprise, he listened to her words and stopped abruptly, panting hard as he faced the dummy. "Thank you. Will you tell me what's wrong now? I can't help if you give me nothing to work with and you shouldn't cope alone with everything. You are not alone anymore, Oliver."

Instead of confiding in her, he turned without a word or second thought, attempting to leave her alone. Again. A part of her was scared to think that something got this reaction out of him but the biggest part of her was annoyed and mad at him for shutting her out. He was playing with fire. He knew, she knew, they both knew and he still continued to put twigs of annoyance after twigs to fuel the anger she already had. Done being played around, Felicity caught up with him in a couple of strides, trying to block his path as they stepped out of his small gym.

"Enough, Oliver," she poked his naked chest, ignoring the hard muscles, the sweat, the warmth of him and the dirty thoughts that washed over her suddenly. Focus. She couldn't daydream about naughty things she wanted to do, that could wait until later. And oh boy, did she have so many thoughts of him when she was alone and bored by watching TV or something else. Licking her lips, she felt her cheeks blush, painting her pale skin into a nice red shade. Let's try again. Focus.

"Stop ignoring me and tell me what is bothering you. Or if you don't want to, say nothing but stop acting like I'm just a part of the air," his fingers wrapped around her wrist and pushed her arm away, ready to walk past her. He was provoking a fight she didn't have the energy to have with him at that moment. "Fine, brood all you want. You know where to find me," with that, it was her turn to stride away and she did so, swirling around to get to her room.

She couldn't hear his footsteps, telling her he remained on the same spot, probably with his eyes shut with regret or guilt. Felicity was about to open the door, when she stopped, her hand flying to the underside of her bump as she felt a small nudging feeling on her left side, "oh."

"Oh, okay. I definitely felt that," she repeated, feeling the firm tapping again, as Oliver stopped by her side, his expression alarmed. She flashed a small smile, looking down again, "you don't like when mommy and daddy have a disagreement, right? Mommy doesn't like them too," she fake glared at Oliver who held up his hands in defeat, the expression he had probably matching hers. 

Taking a hold of his hand, she quickly opened the door, speaking words of encouragement for their daughter as they both walked inside. She lay down on the bed, still grasping his fingers while he crouched down, hoping he would be able to feel the movements like she did. She didn't know if it was a kick, or a punch or something else, but she was happy. Beyond happy. The feeling was too intense to be anything else but the baby's move.

Felicity lifted up her shirt and without any other words needed, Oliver placed his head softly where she pointed, seeing a concentrated expression replacing the tension he had showered himself in. The moment his cheek came in contact with her skin, the jabbing motion was gone and she couldn't help but laugh when Oliver spoke the next words.

"I can't feel anything."

"That's what you get for ignoring me, Mister. Girl power," she expected a lot of emotions being mirrored on his face but he did the least probable thing. His gaze collided with hers and he acted like nothing had happened a few seconds ago outside the room.

He chuckled and said the three words she had identified only three weeks ago in his arms.

The three words she knew he had been holding off for long.

The eight letters with tens of emotions backing up. 

He voiced them all, uncaring of the avalanche of feelings it would set into motion.

"I love you, Felicity."


	19. History Has Its Eyes On You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!  
> Good news! You didn't have to wait two months for a new update now, only two weeks! :P Bad news! I apologize already if this chapter feels a bit off, or different. I have been interrupted way too many times today and those little breaks didn't help at all :/ Anyway, the chapter has its usual length (around ~4.2K words), that hopefully is not full of nonsense. :P *spoiler, maybe?* There is one more chapter that has "only" fluff, so buckle up guys :P Happy times are almost over *spoiler end*
> 
> Also, I still accept suggestions for baby names. I have Olivia, Rose, Hope and Moira for now, but I do think some of you might more ideas. :)
> 
> That's all about Pacing. The other news is that since this is getting posted now aka on Saturday, I might be able to write the first chapter of my new fic (some of you might have read it on Twitter, but for those who didn't here's a quick summary: Oliver and Felicity in the same mob. After a nasty breakout from years ago, they have to work together to stop an enemy. Old flames flare up *wink*)
> 
> Okay, I'm done talking I swear. :) Enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to drop a comment at the end. Comments are good inspiration for quicker updates. :)

"Oliver. Please, where are you?" Felicity whispered while rubbing her fingers over her tummy, sending quick glances between the direction of the entrance and the door of the ultrasound room. He was supposed to arrive five minutes ago. He wouldn't miss this ultrasound. He hadn't missed one since the first. He wouldn't start now. 

She took a deep breath, feeling the strong kick of her daughter beneath her palm, even through the white shirt she wore. A smile lit up her face at the sensation, the reassurance flooding her with calmness every time. She couldn't get enough of that. Each kick or punch, she couldn't decide sometimes, reminded her of the strength their daughter already had. The little girl hadn't been born and yet, she was already a fighter. 

Felicity couldn't be more pride and relieved. 

They had had luck of course, but if it wasn't for her will to live, she wouldn't be sitting in the hallway, waiting to be called in. She just hoped Oliver would make it in time. He had called to let her know he had a meeting he couldn't escape at QC, but that had been more than two hours ago. Those last-minute meetings didn't last more than an hour usually, or from what she could recall from times she had had to be present as well. Maybe traffic caught him before he could make it.

Oliver.

It had been mere three weeks since he had admitted he loved her. She wasn't stupid, she knew he did, or at least that he had some feels for her, but hearing him blurt it out like that had rendered her speechless. Which was saying something, because hello, she was the master (or mistress) of babbling, saying things out-loud accidentally and embarrassing herself. 

While she knew the expense of her own feelings for him, she hadn't been given a chance to voice them. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to find her tone, her focus, anything, but everything had been overwhelming at that moment. And the bastard he could be, he smiled at the knowledge. Not with a full, teeth show off smile, but with a well-knowing smile. Somehow, he knew of her various shouting thoughts and emotions and smiled. It must have been minutes after gazing into his dilated pupils, and love-struck expression that she had finally managed to get back to herself a tad. Not wholly, because hearing the man she loved uttering her the same emotion would need more of her time until she could recompose herself. Every part of herself. And processing also had to happen. 

With the focus she had back, she attempted to tell him she loved him too, but before she could murmur a word, a syllable, a _letter_ , he had pressed his mouth to hers for long seconds. He poured what he had said into that kiss and she did the same, letting him feel what she couldn't speak aloud. When he pulled back he had told her she had time to come to terms with what she was feeling and she wasn't obliged to say it back, then with one quick peck, he mumbled good night and left.

But that was three weeks ago. 

Three weeks and she still hadn't gotten around to tell him. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she did, but as it seemed like Oliver didn't want to hear it. He had avoided her on purpose numerous times, of that she was sure. She had only started to notice when three nights later, he left the loft after making dinner. He had always dined with her. That was some kind of silent agreement they had. Yet, he walked out the apartment without an excuse or information about his whereabouts and returned way after midnight. At first, she had booked it as some kind of nighttime mob activity he had to attend, but in the following days, he never stayed. He cooked more and more delicious meals as a distraction and disappeared the moment her eyes swayed away from him. The confrontation that had followed was what confirmed her growing suspicions. Since mob businesses were kind of low in the city and there was peace within, he had left each night to run, to sprint through the streets.

That wasn't the confirmation since she knew Oliver liked to run. No, it was the way he had told her. His tone, his eyes, his body language were what confessed what she already put together. 

Something had happened the night he came home, all tensed and upset. Something he was not fond of sharing with her. He should know better though. Secrets that changed a person's attitude or made them nervous, afraid and angry had a way of coming out. It was a matter of time before she knew. Hence why she didn't press him. He would tell her when he was ready. Hopefully. She just wanted the secret to come from him and not from someone else. To know he would eventually share what was bothering him. If looked from a different perspective, one could almost say it was a test Felicity prayed he would pass successfully.

But, back to where she originally started. She couldn't tell him over dinner, and during daylight he was at QC while she worked from afar, in the loft. When the weekend arrived and he was forced to spend more time with her, he cut her off with a kiss whenever she wanted to tell him. It hurt her as much as it angered and confused her. She couldn't understand why he avoided hearing her out, why he avoided her at all. It made no sense, even if it was connected to what he found out.

Felicity leaned back in her seat, heaving out a sigh as she watched couples in front of her. While her assumption could be false, each and every couple seated opposite her seemed happy and relaxed. Some were talking to each other, some were engaging in some lovey-dovey smile contest and some were sharing kisses every once in a while. There was one common thing they all had. They were simply _together_. 

Her heart ached, her eyes flying to the end of the corridor once more. She wished things were easier. That they would get forward smoothly like others in the waiting room. Instead, her man was keeping secrets and fleeing home when he had the chance. Oh god, had he changed his mind? Had he realized there were much more beautiful women out there and he had better possibilities? No, no. He wouldn't have told her he loved her if that was the case. Oliver had done many things but being cruel to her? He hadn't been except that one time months ago and he had been proving himself to her ever since. He just needed a reminder he was not alone anymore. 

Oh, why was he so stubborn?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of frantic footsteps and she snapped her head toward the source of the noise, the weight she had felt vanishing as Oliver stopped in front of her, kneeling between her legs.

"Am I late?" he put his hands on her knees and she took a few moments to examine his expression, seeing the guilt, the tiredness, the worry behind his blue eyes.

"Don't worry Daddy, you are here just in time," Felicity smiled a tad, stroking his short hair, watching some of the tension leave his body. "Is everything alright?"

"Now that I'm here, yes."

She shook her head, biting back a chuckle, "Sappy."

"And yet, you like that," he answered, leaning up to press a small kiss to her lips. She met him halfway, sliding her hand down to his shoulder, feeling as his fingers drew different patterns on her thighs. What they were doing felt oddly natural to Felicity. Like they had been dating for ages and been married for another five years. Yet, they weren't even dating like normal people. Heck, they hadn't even known each other for a full year. 

After parting, Felicity swept the effects he had on her away, letting seriousness take place, "no more running Mister. Tonight, we are going to talk." 

He searched her eyes for a jiffy then nodded.

* * *

"You know, we should start looking for names soon," Felicity explained, following Oliver into the loft, clutching the new photos from the ultrasound, "also, have you thought about turning one of the rooms into a nursery? We have time, I know, but it would be great to start, and what?" she asked, putting her purse on the island as he started at her with an intense gaze. 

"Nothing. Go on," he replied and turned his back to her. Frowning, Felicity put her coat next to her purse and walked around the island, wrapping an arm around his bicep, ignoring the warmth that seeped into already heated flesh.

"Hey, talk to me," looking up at him, she said gently, watching him closely. His jaw was clenched, his eyes shut, brows furrowed. Did something else happen? At QC? In the Bratva? Something she was not suspecting at all?

"Oliver, please," she reached for his other arm, turning him to her, his expression staying the same. He was starting to scare her. 

"I have to go," he muttered through gritted teeth and their daughter chose that exact moment to wake up. She felt a kick under her navel, the slight discomfort and safeness it brought, making her squeeze his arms stronger.

"Your daughter and I both disagree. Where do you have to be that can't wait an hour or two?"

He sighed, opening his eyes, "I need to take care of something at the Mansion," he removed her hands from him and trod past her toward the door without sparing another glance.

"Oliver?" he stopped on spot, balling his fingers into fists. She couldn't understand him. How can they go from teasing and happy during the ultrasound to uncertain and tense in a mere hour? Why couldn't he let her in for once?

"We will talk when you get home, right?"

Oliver strode back to her and before she could say anything else, he had her cheeks cupped and lips on her. She opened her mouth for him and he took the invitation, sliding his tongue along hers, giving her a real taste of him after long days. They had shared lots and lots of kisses but most were quick or slower pecks. Feeling another kick, Felicity took a hold of his hand and guided it to her belly where the solid movements of their little fighter could be felt. The kiss faltered for a second, a smile playing on her face, as she delved in again, his hand pressing into her middle, making butterflies jump up and down in her. He angled her head to the side, deepening the kiss again, her heart speeding up a bit more with each stroke of him. A sudden desire shot through her, spreading in her whole body, taking the worry and replacing it with heat and lust, and she moaned, earning a chuckle from Oliver. 

He pulled back and she chased his lips, the need to feel more of him controlling her moves, the fire he had started blazing higher. A hand halted her movement and Felicity gazed into his eyes, seeing the mirrored effects she felt and whispered, "don't go."

She knew the moment he looked down he wouldn't stay. Dropping her arms from where they rested a second ago and wrapping them around herself, Felicity stepped out of his embrace, the momentarily need gone. If he wanted to go, she wouldn't stop him. He had been too pigheaded in the past weeks for her to have a chance at stopping him. 

Oliver crossed the distance she had created, stepping into her personal space and planting a kiss on her forehead. The moment had lost its playfulness and turned sorrowful. It felt like a goodbye to her in some ways and that scared her. With the way he had been acting, his distance, his secrets. That once again made her wonder what had happened. Had he gotten a call when she was talking privately with the doctor? He was so happy, so content during the minutes they watched their daughter on screen and now, that seemed like it was decades ago.

Her chest contracted when he took a step back and she fought off the tears that threatened to take over. Maybe she was just overreacting. Maybe it was just her hormones playing with her, "I'll wait for you."

"Don't. I don't know when I will return," another wave of worry washed over her, the anger that spiked up by his statement hiding behind anxiety.

"But-"

"I know, I'm sorry," he squeezed her shoulder one more time, then with that, he turned around and walked out, leaving her behind in a pile of fear and confusion.

* * *

She was pacing in front of the window in her room, playing with her fingers nervously. Felicity had been walking up and down for hours. She watched the sun disappear on the horizon, watched the various shades using the sky as their canvas, watched the stars come to life as darkness took over the city. Her feet was aching now but she couldn't stop pacing. The worry that had settled down in her body didn't let her rest even for a second. She had a really bad feeling. It wasn't just because of the moment they shared before Oliver left. No, that feeling went deeper. She couldn't really pinpoint when it escalated into what she had, but it was definitely taking a toll on her.

The hours of worrying had exhausted her and yet, she couldn't place her head on a pillow and sleep. It didn't help that her daughter sensed what she was going through and decided to throw a party to let her know she was also there. She already loved their daughter, there was no doubt, but each kick reminded her of Oliver's absence as the little girl was usually the most active when her father was around. 

Sending a quick glance at the clock on the wall and reading it was after midnight, she moved away from the huge window. Felicity grabbed a spare underwear and walked into the bathroom to strip down and shower. It might just help the worry cease. Setting the water to a pleasant temperature, she stepped below the spray, feeling the drops cascade down her body. She had no idea where he was, what he was doing, if he was hurt or dead. All she felt was a seemingly never-ending concern and haunting scenarios that turned up when she heard the click of the door. 

Some minutes later, she turned off the faucet and dried herself with a towel then got dressed in comfy clothes, letting her hair fall on her shoulders. She was about to strode back to the window when she heard a noise coming from outside her door. Heart thumping swiftly, Felicity tiptoed to the door, making sure not to make any sound while listening to what might happen in the hallway.

Hearing nothing, she turned the knob of the door and peeked out, her eyes meeting with darkness. Was she hallucinating now? Great. Felicity opened the door fully and looked around, the dim lights of her room illuminating the corridor. There was nothing. It was as empty as it had been before. She was about to turn back when she heard a noise again, this time something she could identify as a groan, coming from a few feet away from Oliver's room. Shaking away the thought of a similar encounter, she strode closer, the sound becoming louder and clearer. 

It was him. Oliver. She could recognize him anywhere. Not giving anything a second thought, she opened his room, for the first time, her eyes settling on him instantly. He was sitting, his shirtless back on full display for her, as he- Holy shit. Was that all blood?

"Oliver," she said his name breathlessly, her shaking fingers falling beside her side as she stared at how he cleaned his wound on his arm. The previous hesitation left her body and she ran to where he was seated, not waiting for an answer or invitation. 

"Oh my god, what happened?" she asked, touching his unharmed arm, trying to get a part of his attention. When that didn't work, she took the wet cloth out of his hand to wipe off the redness that surrounded the wound, fighting back the urge to vomit when fresh blood seeped out the hole from where his skin was pierced. He was alive at least. He would be okay, she reminded herself and without another word, she worked until his skin was cleaned off and the bleeding stopped.

"I'm no doctor but this definitely needs stitches," Oliver nodded, he obviously knew, and she watched in silence as he stitched up his own arm, not flinching once or stopping until he was done.

Stroking his chin, she took in the bruise that formed on his cheek, the sweat and dirt that covered his stubble and forehead, "you should take a shower. I'll wait here."

He didn't say anything, just did what she suggested. His stillness was not a good sign. 

* * *

 

While he was taking a shower, Felicity went downstairs to get him a glass of water and some painkillers. She knew he wouldn't take the later, but she would try nonetheless. Him and pain - even if he hid it - didn't sit well with her. Striding up the stairs, she walked inside his room just as the bathroom door opened. Steam followed his lead, his muscles flexing with perfect coordinated moves, his hard lines and abs visible to her roaming, hungry eyes. He had the towel wrapped around his hips, water drops on his chest teasing her, tempting her and-

Felicity shook her head, knowing now was not the time for horny thoughts and desires. Her focus was solely on Oliver and his well being. He was the number one priority, not her sexual needs that seemed to attack her more and more over the days. She turned her back to him, giving him time to get dressed and forcing herself to stay composed and not have her mind wander off again. But that was getting harder and harder. Pun intended and woah, since when did she become a walking horny stick? Probably when she met him. Damn. He had to put on clothes already!

Oliver cleared his throat and a bit awkwardly but she turned, handing him the glass and the pills, "here, take these."

To no one's surprise, he drank the water and ignored the painkillers, earning a glare out of her. She waited patiently until he gulped the last sip and set the object on the desk before speaking, "okay, can we talk now? I don't want to sound pushy and I can go and give you time but-"

"Felicity."

"Right. So, what had you acting so strange in the past weeks?" she asked, keeping a fair amount of distance between them to make sure her body wouldn't betray her again by just being in a near proximity to him. 

"I want to tell you, but I can't," oh how many times had she heard this sentence... If she got one dollar each time he had said it, she would be a millionaire by now, or maybe even a billionaire. 

"Why?"

"Because you don't need any additional stress." 

"So you just carry all the weight for both of us. That's not a solution. Whatever it is that you feel like you can't share, you can. I'm not fragile and I won't run away by knowing the truth if that's what you are afraid of."

"That's not the case here, Felicity."

Felicity stopped, chewing on the words she wanted to speak, doubting whether to say it or not, before giving in. He might not give her a better chance to tell him with the way he was acting lately and she needed him to understand. She was all in, if only he let her. "Oliver, I love you and I want to help you, but if you shut me out I can't be there for you. I told you already, you can lean on me and I'm asking you to do that. Don't turn away-"

"What did you say?" Oliver questioned and instead of seeing disbelief, happiness or love like she assumed shining in his eyes, his gaze held fear and horror. It didn't feel like a punch in the gut. Nope. Not at all.

"That if you shut me out, I'm gonna kick your ass and you won't be able to sit for a week straight."

"No, before," he rubbed his fingers together, signaling his nervousness that fueled her confusion. Wasn't that what he wanted to hear and know all along? That she loved him? What changed him so suddenly that he didn't want her love? Sweeping away the tears that attempted to escape the prison of her eyes, she answered, keeping all her emotions at bay to hide the pain his expression caused.

"That I love you."

"No. No, you can't," tone broken and hoarse, Oliver took a step back, bringing a bigger gap between them that she didn't like anymore, "this is a mistake."

"What?"

"You shouldn't. I'm a monster Felicity and you deserve better," if he didn't think that low of himself or didn't actually believe what he told her, she would have banged her head on the nearest flat surface to fight off frustration. Instead, she closed the distance with fast strides and hit his good arm as intensely as she could, getting a hiss and a groan as a response.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"One, Oliver, we already had this kind of conversation like a billion times. Two, I am fully capable of knowing what I deserve. This is my life and my choice. And three, you are not a monster. Do you understand me? You are not one, so stop thinking that," if the surprised look on his face told her anything, he hadn't expected her anger at all. Well, he could have his head in his ass as he pleased but she was done with his ignorance and nonsense.

"You don't understand-"

"Then tell me so I can erase that stupid thought from your mind for once and for all."

"I-" he started and cut himself off, drawing in a deep breath and looking anywhere but her, "please, leave."

"No, we are gonna sit down and talk like adults."

"You want to talk? Fine. Here's the truth then. Everything I touch gets a fast demise, everyone around me suffers. My sister suffered, my father suffered, my mother still suffers and _you_ suffer too. So tell me, Felicity. How can you be around me? How can you even look me in the eyes and tell me you love me when I just murdered a person in cold blood?"

"Now, you are going to listen to me carefully. You are not responsible for anyone's torment. Your sister died knowing she was loved and while I never met your father I know he was proud of you. Your mother still has a chance of having happy moments, just give her time. You didn't ruin anyone's life. You didn't ruin theirs and you certainly didn't ruin mine. Yes, you do awfully frustrating stuff but you are also one of the most caring people I've ever met. I'm going to be a parent to our little miracle because of you. Before I met you, my life was black and white but then you brought colors into it. You brought passion, happiness, so much happiness into my life. Bad things happen, double yes, but you can't have all the good without a little bad every once in a while. As for killing, I know you well enough to know you had a reason behind what you did. You wouldn't have hurt that person if he wasn't awful, if he didn't deserve it," by the end of her little speech, she held Oliver's bigger hands, seeing the battling emotions behind his gaze.

"That doesn't justify what I did in the past and what I have just done tonight."

"Maybe. But maybe, you just need to find a new path. A new way to balance your life. We all make mistakes, but lucky for us, we are all capable of changing as well. _You_ have changed a lot since I met you Oliver and I know you will find a way to put killing behind you." 

He blew out a laugh, telling her he finally gave up. Yayy! She deserved billions of high fives. "Felicity. I-I don't know what I would do without you sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Felicity teased, taking a seat on his bed. Putting a hand on her middle, she motioned for Oliver to join her and he did a second later.

"You are right."

"Now, let me say it again. I love you, Oliver," she saw a tear escape his eye as she finally broke through some of his walls. Taking the new victory with pride and relief, she held out her hand for him, "come here, you big grumpy teddy bear."

He pressed his head to her breast, probably listening to her heart rate, whilst she threw her arms around him, pulling him closer, "but don't think you are off the loop yet. You are gonna tell me what is bothering you. If not today, but soon. Deal?"

"Deal."


	20. Hurricane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyaa! :)
> 
> Three months later *hides* but the new chapter is up! :) I changed my plans for this story slightly so I can't tell how many chapters are left precisely but this fanfic is still ending in a few chapters. As for the new update, all I will say is that I don't think it's the chapter you were expecting. :P It's over 5K words and since I love cliffhangers so much you can guess the end. :P 
> 
> Thank you everyone for suggesting baby names. I did choose a name but it's gonna be a secret for now. The suggestions were all lovely and beautiful names, so choosing one or two was definitely not easy. Thank you guys <33
> 
> That's it for now, I hope you enjoy this new update and as always let me know what you think by leaving kudos or a comment at the end. Those feed my Muse and help me write more and quicker.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

"Oliver."

"No."

"Oliverrrrr. Come on."

"No."

"Oliver!" Felicity chuckled, poking the hard abs of his middle with her fingers, trying to get him to move a tad or to readjust his position. She never thought she would be in a situation like this, especially not with him but here she was, trapped by the gargantuan man she loved and who was the father of her daughter. As it turned out Oliver was a big cuddler in his sleep. No matter the position they fell asleep in, by the time the morning lights flooded their room, he would have her securely against him, with legs entwined with her, head hidden in the crook of her neck or under her hair and arms bracketing her in an easy albeit safe embrace.

She wasn't complaining much though. Felicity loved the new feeling of waking up in his arms each morning and falling asleep to the lullaby of his heartbeat each night. The problem was the ridiculous amount of times she had to sneak her way out of his ninja hold to pee because their daughter thought it would be best to use her bladder as trampoline. And Oliver wasn't one to let her go that easily.

Like in that moment.

"Oliver, please. You can cuddle with my pillow until I come back," she whined, pushing on his hand that was resting on her rounded belly. The other discovery she had the chance to experience with him was how much he liked to stay in bed with her. She had thought he would be the first to wake up and he would leave as soon as the rays of the new day hit his feet but instead, whenever she had to slip out of bed, he tightened his arms around her and mumbled incoherent excuses or, just like now, he simply murmured a no and stayed put.

"No. 'Ts not you," his breath tickled her neck and Felicity let out a long sigh, putting her own hand on his, enjoying the firm kicks and other movements of their baby in that blissful moment.

Somehow, she couldn't believe they had come to this point. A few months ago all of this seemed unthinkable and unrealistic. Even after they left the hospital this seemed to be too good to be anything other than a dream. Spending quiet minutes before a day started with him in bed? Nope, not happening. At least, she thought that for long, exhausting months.

But, as she had mused it not long before, here they were, warming the other's body, heart and soul, healing the wounds the past scarred them with and becoming stronger by the minute because they were together.

"You get five minutes, Mister. Five, and then I will have to leave you be for a few seconds."

He groaned against her neck, the sound rusty and lost in the morning, his hands adjusting their positions to pull her closer to him. "Bad plans. Don't like it."

Felicity giggled, caressing his skin and looking down at him. She couldn't see his face in full profile as he was half hiding under her chin, but she saw his mouth and the stubble littering the area around, and her chest warmed at the sight of the small curl of his lips. To anyone else, it wouldn't appear like a smile but she knew. It was a sign of the contentedness and happiness he shared with her in that trice.

They had many problems, many troubles to face but instead of worrying about those, Oliver finally let himself enjoy moments like this and that thought pulled a smile to her own lips as well. It had taken her a while to break through those walls, just like it had taken him time to break through her walls, but it was worth it. If the reward was the three of them laying silently then Felicity wouldn't change a thing.

The more mornings passed like that, the more her heart filled with joy. It had been eight days since the night she told him she loved him and seven mornings since the first time they woke up in each other's arms and now, Felicity's stomach was full of butterflies whenever she thought of the next time she woke up. Mornings definitely became the best part of her days.

Looking at the steady rise and fall of his chest whilst his warmth seeped into her bones, Felicity knew she was ready. He had told her she would know and he was right. She wanted him. And not just because of her rampaging hormones. She wanted him in a way she never had before. Not just for sex or a quick fuck but for much more. She wanted to feel their connection on a higher level. She wanted his promises to fill her heart with the love his eyes had been speaking of for weeks. She wanted him to make love to her.

She simply wanted all of him.

"Okay Cuddly Grump, your time is up. I'm gonna be back in a few minutes."

* * *

 

He stayed right where she left him five minutes ago. The only difference was his head that was now buried in her pillow, inhaling her scent every few seconds. Putting her hands to her hips, she watched him sleep peacefully, the tension he carried around nonexistent, his features relaxed, the small curl of his lips still visible to her eyes. He looked younger in his sleep. The torment he went through in the past years since he lost his father and sister lightyears away.

As much as her hormones have seemed to wake up, and as much as heat pooled in her lower tummy at the thought of what might happen, Felicity couldn't help but stare at his tranquil frame for another minute.

It was so rare to see him this relaxed. Besides the mornings, his body always seemed to be tense, aware of every little movement around him, and ready to protect her at any minute if anything happened. He had been that way ever since he came back to the loft, shot in the arm. The wound was healing nicely and without any infections, but the alertness that night put him into did not. It was pure miracle he was not letting the mornings be ruined by those actions and emotions.

And he had yet to tell her what had happened that night. The following day, he reassured her he would let her know about everything in time and once he knew more. Until then, he asked her not to worry. She trusted him now. She trusted him to come to her when he was ready. The fact that he had acknowledged something was happening was a very good first step. 

A light snore pulled her out of her thoughts before she could get lost and her smile widened a tad. She loved how comfortable he was around her.

Striding to their bed, she sat down next to him, stroking his arm until his blue eyes were revealed to her. His gaze told her so much, it was overwhelming her sometimes.

"Hey," he said, his voice raspy, the sleepiness evident in his glance as he scooted closer to the wall to give her the space to join him. She did a second later and took a hold of his hand, putting their entwined fingers on her tummy.

"Hi. Got enough sleep?"

"Until you left me alone. The bed is cold without you," he replied and Felicity shook her head, biting her lower lip to contain another round of chuckles, staring into dilated pupils. She could get lost in the universe of his eyes.

"You say that like I abandoned your for years and not for five minutes."

"Still. Don't do this to me next time."

"You are gonna have to talk to your daughter then I'm afraid."

"I think that can be arranged," he said, his hand sneaking under the shirt. Oliver lifted the clothing, careful not to expose her breasts and give her discomfort. Oh, that careful man of hers. Like she would be bothered. In fact, the riddled up garment hid her tightening nipples and her body's responses to being so close to him.

Oliver sat up, leaning close to her belly and she held her breath, needing to see what he would do. He hadn't done that before. Not this directly. Would he touch her or just talk? Would he press a kiss to her bump? A second later she got her answer.

"Hey, little one. How about we gang up against mommy? You stay put in the mornings and daddy gets to cuddle with you two longer. It's a win-win," he murmured a few inches from her bump, staring into her gaze with a lazy smile. 

"This is unfair," she laughed as their daughter kicked firmly, the voice of Oliver making the girl move vigorously. He waited until the baby's kicks became less frequent and pulled down the shirt, leaning back on the sheets to prop himself up, resting his head on his hand and smiling, the sight melting her heart. She was making him happy. She and their baby were the reason behind his smile.

"You know, smiles look good on your face, Mr. Queen," she teased, feeling his thumb draw circles over her covered middle, where their daughter was resting. The little girl finally calmed down after her box and kick match.

"My shirt on you looks good as well Ms. Smoak." Yup, she might have forgotten to mention that before. Felicity grew it as a habit to steal a shirt and sleep in it. She couldn't be blamed though. She just simply couldn't get enough of him after the first taste. And not in the dirty way.

"It's not like any of my pyjamas fit me anymore," she said, the lame excuses making him heave out a breathless laugh. It was true in some ways, but they both knew it wasn't the real reason why his shirts were going missing one by one. "Can you believe my tummy is still growing? I already feel like an overfilled balloon and I'm not anywhere near my due date. Most women don't show like me during their first pregnancy but me? It's obvious she is your baby."

Was it possible to have heart eyes? She was pretty sure Oliver was sporting those at that moment. She enjoyed the love and admiration his eyes reflected on her though. Had anyone told her they would end up like this a year ago, she would have laughed.

"Mmhmm," he hummed and lowered his head, capturing her lips in a slow kiss. Exactly what she needed. Soft pillow like lips pressed on hers, awaking the buzzing hormones and wants, filling her stomach with small flutters.

He pulled back a second later, his eyes staying directly on her as she whispered the words between them.

"Oliver, make love to me."

Something crossed his eyes and the movements of his thumb stopped, nervousness invading her suddenly. It wasn't like they had never had sex. Obviously, since sex got them to this point quicker, but gazing into his intense stare, feeling the hum of her skin for being so close to him was different than the quickies they shared. Felicity heard her own heart thunder at a fast pace, her body heaving under his gaze. She truly wanted him. This.

"Are you-"

"Yes," she interrupted in a determined way, her pulse racing more he stayed still.

He started closing the distance between them, giving her the opportunity to change her mind, and she shut her eyes, eagerly waiting to feel his mouth on her lips again, to feel her blood heating, to feel the magnetic pull of want in her core.

Instead of his mouth connecting with her lips, he planted a soft peck on her forehead, then on her eyebrows, then nose, peppering her face with tiny smooches. Her lips parted when she realized what he was doing, her hand fisting the sheet between their bodies, her toes curling. His hand moved from hers, sneaking under the shirt she wore and slowly peeling it off her body, the air hitting her skin freely.

His lips moved downward as he left kisses all over her cheeks, at the edges of her lips, careful not to touch them fully and cave in to the yearns she knew he felt as well. He pressed pecks after pecks under her chin and on her throat, making her sigh as her fingers found his hard bicep, his muscles moving under the palm of her hand as he moved down. His light touches turned her on more and Felicity felt her center pulse with need, her bare skin scorching after each kiss he left without touching her anywhere else.

Oliver nipped at her collarbone, licking her hungry skin and teasing her body, the want, the need to have him fill her up, to feel him inside her growing higher. She clutched her eyes tighter when his lips connected with the flesh on her sensitive breast, his kisses like soft feather caresses on her heated body.

He stopped under the curve of her breast and she held her breath, biting the insides of her mouth to keep the noises that wanted to break free, when he nuzzled his nose on her tummy, rubbing his cheek lightly, not to cause any discomfort by the stubble he wore proudly. His forehead came to rest on her middle for a brief second, the hands bracketing her, warming her sides, while he stayed still, his quick exhales and his carefulness hitting her chest in pangs of love for the man who loved endlessly and protected with everything he had.

Then, when Felicity thought her emotions couldn't be more tangled, couldn't be _more_ at all, he pressed the lightest of kisses to her bump. Pent up raging emotions breaking free, she felt a tear trickle down her cheek where she could still feel his kisses, the simple action releasing the feelings she kept to herself for a long time and Felicity let herself be washed over by his care, by his love, erasing doubts and fears, leaving only his emotions for her.

Without realizing he moved, the tear that escaped the prison of her eye was swept away by his finger and she opened her eyes to find him stare at her, the different emotions swirling behind his need like in her case. He wasn't crying, not yet anyway, but he was just as overwhelmed as her.

"I love you," Felicity voiced and saw him take a big breath, her words striking him again by surprise. Sitting up, she placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in, brushing her lips over his, the wetness gathering between her legs as his tongue traced her lower lip, begging for entrance. She opened her mouth, sliding her tongue next to his, the feeling familiar yet new at the same time as she explored him the way he was exploring her, his taste and woodsy scent invading her body. Tilting her head, she deepened the kiss, his palm touching as much skin on her back as possible while pulling their bodies close until her bump allowed comfortably.

Fingers finding the rough skin of his scar under his collarbone, Felicity broke the kiss and pushed on his shoulders, encouraging him to lay down as she settled over his hips, feeling his hardening erection through the small layers of underwears they both wore, the sensation pulling a soft moan out of her. Pressing down on his shaft, her swollen lips parted on a breathy sigh, her sex pulsing as he thrust up, her lower parts flaming with desire.

Spreading her palms over his chest, Felicity curled her fingers, scratching his skin with her nails, watching his reactions slowly as she moved again over his length. His eyes bore into hers while he let her move, creating a small but sweet friction between their bodies, her breathing quickening along with her heart. Between humps, she bent down, her hair falling down to cover her face while she pressed kisses on the scars he had, one by one, her blood racing south.

She took her time over his Bratva tattoo, feeling the steady and quick beating of his heart as her insides clamped to have him inside her. Looking up from between locks of hair she saw his closed eyes, his jaw clenched with focus as she moved over his hardened cock.

Losing patience, Felicity straightened and climbed off of him, grabbing the annoying material that was his underwear. She pushed it off with his help and watched his cock string free and twitching in the air, precum gathering at the tip. Fighting the urge to touch him, she got rid of her panties and climbed on him, his erection nestled between her legs, and her center pulsated harder, her breaths becoming quick pants as she stared into his eyes. The scent of her arousal hit her nostrils and she watched him realize that as well, his mouth hanging open, the sound of him inhaling her scent echoing in the room.

Taking a hold of his cock, she guided the head to her lower lips, rubbing the tip over her clit and spreading the wetness that was slowly dripping from her core. Closing her eyes at the sensation, she heard his quick inhale when her fingers tightened their hold around him, his erection pulsing in her hand.

"Felicity," he breathed and she slid her eyes open, blinking at the needy expression he had, readjusting her position a tad. Locking gazes with him, she moved him to her entrance and sank down slowly, taking him in inches by inches, feeling her walls burning as he entered her, while keeping their eyes on each other. Stopping only when he was fully seated inside her, she placed her hands on his chest, aware of her insides pulsing around him, aware of his cock throbbing.

She parted her lips, waiting for the discomfort at his huge size to fade, staring at his face, eyes not wavering from his blue ones. When the heat and pressure of her insides became too much, she lifted herself, his cock sliding out with ease, the friction giving her a luscious pleasure she had never felt before. Not wasting a second, she moved downward, his length penetrating her again and her fingernails dug into the skin of his chest, earning a quiet hiss from him.

Setting up a rhythm, she moved him in and out of her with a fast pace, her breasts bouncing at each slide of him, sweat breaking out on her skin as she sank down on him again and again, his cock rubbing her walls and clit deliciously. She felt the familiar prickling of her orgasm coming closer, her insides scorching as the pressure alongside the pleasure rose, the tension growing into a ball in her core.

Their breathy moans filled the room, as the coil inside her grew tighter, and he took a hold of her fingers, entwining their hands as they came closer and closer to reaching the peak, a sweatdrop sliding down her neck toward her boobs. She saw his gaze follow the drop disappear between her bouncing breasts, before his eyes found hers again, the vortex of emotions feeding her.

She gripped his hands harder as the coil inside her snapped and she came, her mouth hanging open on a silent scream, her walls clamping down around him, triggering his orgasm. The flood of her orgasm milked him and she fought the urge to close her eyes as waves after waves of pleasure washed over her, his blue eyes becoming the only clear thing she could see, while he grunted her name.

And looking into eyes, while she pulsed around him, her chest full of love, Felicity finally understood what it was like to belong to someone and have someone belong to her.

* * *

 

"You know we should go back to my place," Felicity said, moving her toes freely as she sat at the edge of the kitchen island, watching Oliver prepare their meal. He looked over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at her sudden change of topic. They had been discussing colors and furnitures for the nursery before she blurted out that sentence.

"I mean, we didn't exactly talk about this before, but since I live here I need more of my stuff than some dresses and documents," she continued and watched the muscles in his back working as he swirled the already yummy looking food. Desire shot through her legs again and she pressed her thighs together, hoping to cease the want she felt for him. They had sex twice before making it to the kitchen to make a meal. Well, Oliver doing the real work and Felicity ogling his muscles and butt. She couldn't be blamed though, her hottie of a boyfriend was wearing nothing but underwear.

Licking her lips, she watched him place two plates on the counter and load food, the scent making her stomach growl. Felicity giggled as Oliver smiled and she placed a hand on her belly, stroking her bump through the shirt she, of course, stole from him.

Oliver helped her down the island and they sat down side by side, eating quietly the omelette he cooked them quickly. They would finally go on a date outside but until then, he insisted she ate something and after all, she wasn't complaining. She had more appetite than she thought at first even if she was eating for two.

"We can go pick up everything you need tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's not good. I have to go to QC to make sure everything is still in place at the IT Department since I took an early maternity leave."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, it's nothing I can't handle, but thank you," she smiled at him between two bites, grabbing the glass of orange he had also prepared for her.

"Tuesday then?"

"Perfect."

They finished their meals quietly, and halfway through eating her daughter let her know she was awake by a firm kick. She stopped for a second to smile and Oliver looked at her with concern before she put his hand over her bump and he joined her smiling.

"Your daughter loves your cooking skills as well."

"I can see that," he leaned down to kiss her lips when the sound of his phone ringing interrupted them. Cursing under his breath, Felicity squeezed his hand as he moved away to retrieve his phone. She watched him move, sighing contently.

Before Oliver, she could only dream of what being in love meant.

It all changed with him though.

Before Oliver, she could only dream of what someone being in love with her meant.

It all changed with him though.

And while they had a lot of hurt behind them, Felicity was glad they got to that point. She was glad to experience these new emotions with him, to test uncharted waters with him.

Turning her focus on the man she loved, she saw him close his eyes, his shoulder slumping before anger took over and his body tensed in the blink of an eye. He replied in Russian, his tone cold and furious. Nuh-uh. Something was wrong Something was very, very, _very_ wrong judging by his reaction. It took a little over three minutes before he disconnected the call and walked back to her, his eyes apologetic and sad.

"I have to go"

"I know," he leaned down to capture her lips in a gentle peck, fear churning in her stomach. She had a very bad feeling about all of this. Of him leaving. Of him having to take care of Bratva business. Of him going out. Ending the kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Is it bad I don't want you to go?" Felicity asked, inhaling his woodsy smell as his arms squeezed her. He shook his head against her neck and as her heart pounded nervously, her insides filling with more and more fear, she felt a light kiss on her hair as he took a step back to look at her.

"No, it's not. I don't want to go either," he replied, bending down on his knees, pressing his lips to her bump and continuing. "But daddy, will come back."

A lump formed in her throat and she lifted her head to look up, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. She had no idea whether it was her nerves getting the worst out of her or her hormones, but all she wanted to do was keep him in the safety of the loft. Even as she knew there was no way he could stay. He had a reputation in the brotherhood he had to stick to.

"To both of you," he finished, casted one look at her, then strode up to their room to get dressed. 

"Be careful!" she shouted after him and he turned in the middle of the stairs, giving her a small smile.

"I have someone to get back to. Two someones actually. I will," he winked and disappeared behind the door.

* * *

 

Like always, Felicity couldn't fall asleep with Oliver out on Bratva business. He had done that numerous times but she guessed she would never get used to feeling the sheer fear of what might happen, if he got injured like the last time or god help, if something worse happened. She couldn't even describe that word. The possibility of something like that happening... Taking a deep breath, she tightened her fingers around the railing of the balcony, watching over the streets and hoping she would spot him bolt through the quiet night on his bike.

Goosebumps broke out on her arm as the breeze scratched her skin under the green afghan she found in their room, and she decided to go inside the warm loft before catching a cold. Placing a hand over the skin her daughter was kicking vigorously, she wandered back to the bedroom, her feet aching for standing too long. She picked up her phone, gulping when she saw it was past midnight. 

Oliver had gone out 10 hours ago. 10 hours and there had been no words of his whereabouts ever since then.

Opening the messages, she typed a quick text, rereading it once before hitting the send button.

 **Felicity, 12:23 AM:  
** _Hey. Is everything alright?_

Slipping her lower lip between her teeth, she stared at the screen nervously, hearing her own heart beating loudly in the still room. Jumping a tad when the phone buzzed in her hand, she read the message she received, not knowing whether to feel more nervous or relieved.

 **Oliver, 12:25 AM:**  
_No. I'm gonna call you soon to talk._

She took a seat on the bed, keeping a hand on her belly, while her other hand was gripping the phone. 

Five minutes passed and there was nothing.

Ten minutes passed and there was nothing.

Twenty minutes passed and there was nothing.

The more the silence stretched on, the faster her heart thudded against her ribs, the more her nerves clanged with fear.

Finally, half an hour later her screen lit up with his face and name on and she picked up the line without hesitation, drawing the phone to her ear.

"Oliver, hey."

 _"Felicity, I need you to listen to me and contain your anger for later. Preferably until I'm finished,"_  he was speaking quietly. Too quietly. What was happening? Feeling her insides drop, anxiety dancing in her body, heaviness sitting on her chest and shoulders, Felicity nodded then quickly replied.

"Okay. Whatever is you say, I-I'm gonna keep my mouth shut until you are finished."

 _"This is not the best to talk over a phone call, but I ran out of time and options,"_ swallowing the nausea that suddenly attacked her, Felicity pressed her lips together, gripping the phone with dear life. _"A little over a month ago, I told you the guy who shot you was dead and everything was over. It's not."_

Felicity froze, her face paling, her fingers shaking a bit as he continued. She did not like the direction he was pushing the conversation to. _"I thought for days he was dead, but he wasn't. The man we caught was not the man responsible for every attack. He was just a pawn. I couldn't tell you until I figured out who he truly was and I still don't know but as I said I ran out of time."_

Body trembling, she grabbed the edge of the bed for support, the different emotions, possibilities and thoughts mingling together in a giant mess. Oliver lied. The attacker was alive. Oliver hid things again. The man responsible for hurting their baby was alive. 

Alive.

Breathing.

His heart beating.

He was still a threat to her, to the baby, to Oliver.

To them.

She had to throw up. She couldn't.

_"I can't come back to the loft tonight, but I have my men keeping their eyes on you if something happens. Next to our bed, there's a nightstand, open it."_

She couldn't. Her body was not functioning right. 

As if sensing her current state, he continued, his voice soft with a hint of tiredness. _"Felicity, please get to the nightstand and open it."_

Getting her limbs to work, she slid to the nightstand and opened it at the third try, the trembling of her fingers becoming worse and worse with each second. She couldn't believe this was happening. It couldn't. Not again.

Not. Again.

_"If you pull out the second drawer you will find a gun. Do not go anywhere without it being at a reachable distance. Lock everything before you go to sleep. Windows, rooms, doors, the balcony, everything. You hear a weird noise, you take the gun and call me. You think someone got in, you take the gun and call me. You think you are being watched, you take the gun and call me. Okay?"_

"Okay," she replied, uncaring of the emotions her tone betrayed to him. 

Fear. Unadulterated fear. Confusion. Nervousness. Anger. Fear. Unadulterated fear.

_"Do you remember how to fire a gun?"_

She stayed silent, staring at the gun in the drawer, a new wave of nausea overtaking her. 

_"Felicity?"_

"Yes."

_"I'm so, sorry, honey. I wish this wouldn't be happening. Remember to turn off the safety before firing. I have to go but I will be back by Tuesday moon. I love you."_

* * *

Tuesday arrived.

But he did not come back by noon.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, please! :) <3  
> Also you can follow me on Twitter and Tumblr to ask any question you have or get to know more about upcoming updates :)  
> Twitter: @WalkingOlicity  
> Tumblr: walker-oliciter.tumblr.com


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